We have had a death in the family, and will not be posting a tip today. Please check back Wednesday for a new post! Thank you for reading!
Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’
No tip today…
Monday, January 25th, 2010Why men should (but don’t) ask for directions…
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010Jerrill had a very interesting point this week, and we wanted to share it with our readers. It’s not that people don’t know this, at least at some level, it’s just that we either forget it, or don’t want to swallow our pride and undertake it…the “it”, is asking for directions.
There are very few people out there who can make intuitive leaps of greater understanding out of scarce information. You know, the people who excel in an area in spite of all surroundings and obstacles. These are the “genius janitors” out there, solving quantum physics equations on their lunch breaks. They are the jungle explorers who can successfully navigate to the other side, safe from animals and disease. These are the people that make/invent the things that push civilization forward. People like Leonardo da Vinci and Nicola Tesla. For the rest of us mere mortals, gleaning a deep understanding of something takes work and time. Time we don’t generally have. Another problem? Many of us have too much pride to ask those individuals that already have the knowledge we need to share it with us. It’s hard for us to make progress as individuals, much less move forward and take a bunch of people with us. You know who you are! You are the man that refuses to ask for directions and gets lost, because navigating from point A to point B seemed like such an easy task at the beginning of the road trip (Thank goodness for GPS!). You are the person out there quietly struggling to pay the bills and building up a savings account because you were never taught how in school and never sought out the advice of someone who has it all figured out. You know how your favorite southern couple feels about that! Swallow that pride! Find somebody who is “smarter” than you and ask them to share their knowledge. Odds are, they will happily do so, and you won’t have to reinvent the wheel. Find someone who is already doing what you want to do yourself, be it find that boutique or thrift store across town, balance that budget, or solve that physics equation!
You don’t have to go through life without help. Nobody does. There are scads of things out there to help you along, some are free and some aren’t, but they are all there for you. But you have to take the first step. You have to ask for help, before it is given to you!
Happy New Year 2010!
Friday, January 1st, 2010Happy New Year 2010! Enjoy the day with your friends and family, or recover quickly!
Merry Christmas 2009!
Friday, December 25th, 2009Merry Christmas. Go spend time with your family, as we will be having family time as well.
Some food for thought!
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009Today I just wanted to share a few insights that I ran across while researching other topics for this past Friday. Since we are heading into Christmas and millions of us will be going home for the holiday, I thought it a good idea for us to be reflective and introspective…now is as good a time as any for personal and familial growth.
- No one’s perfect – This shouldn’t even have to be said, since we should all already know this, but too often we do not. We know that we aren’t perfect, but don’t extend this logic to our friends, loved ones and other acquaintances. We should though, because holding people to a standard of perfect is only setting you up for disappointment. Try to remember that the people in your life are trying…and you should try too!
- “Events reveal people’s characters;they don’t determine them” – This should be something that we all remember. If your friend does something hurtful to you because of a bad situation they find themselves in, they were likely to do it anyway…it was not the situation that created the attitude, the attitude merely came out during the situation. The event doesn’t matter. “You have the chance to be the person you wish to be, until you die”.
- Love and family are hard, you can’t fake feelings forever - Be honest with those you love. Keeping relationships strong through decades is a lot harder than you might think it is, and dishonesty will only breed contempt. Share your thoughts and feelings with friends and loved ones, even when it is hard.
- Keep your eye on the prize – Never lose sight of your goals and aspirations. I know that in this instant gratification, have it now world, it’s easy to lose sight of your own feet in front of you, but the dream is part of you, and you shouldn’t give up on it or forget about it. I don’t care if your dream is to be President of the United States, or to be the loving housewife and mother of a wonderful husband and 2 great children…never forget that dream, and, as Winston Churchill said, never give in.
Why forgiveness is important.
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009As some of you might remember, a few months ago I wrote the post YOU are an emotional piggy bank, where I talked about your emotional piggy bank, and how it should be filled by emotional boosts and not emotional drains. Some of you might be tempted to think that that post and today’s post conflict, but they do not. Forgiveness is applied when someone has wronged you (generally), and it is your choice as to whether or not you can accept what they’ve done and move on (an apology goes a long way, as we all know, but it doesn’t always happen that way).
I have a friend that I have known for 17 years, and for 6-7 of those years, we did not speak. This friend and I were inseparable throughout several of our high school years, and only drifted slightly when I moved away. A few years ago, the blow up was partially their fault, and partially mine. This friend did something in very bad taste, and I, not realizing it was a cry for help, did not help them, but instead, sent them away. Flash forward to this year…this friend contacted me, and after years to think about what we’d both done wrong, I felt it was a good idea to try again. And I’m glad I did. It might not be just like old times, since we live a couple hours apart, but it’s easy again…the way a close friendship should be. This is not to say that we don’t all have friends who are, as another friend of mine likes to call them, “small-dosers”, i.e. friends you can only be around for a limited time so they don’t drive you crazy. We all have those friends, but the closest friends shouldn’t be hard to be around, and thankfully, for me and my friend, it isn’t.
Do you have a friend that you’ve lost touch with for this type of reason? Do you think about them often, wishing there was a way to get things back to better times? Do you think that they’re character is good and they are worth a second chance, or the extra effort? If so, make that effort. If they contact you, go slowly, but learn to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is one of the things that makes us human, and I like to try it when I can. This doesn’t mean it will always work. Sometimes, a person’s character is lost forever, or they have hurt you so badly that you cannot imagine ever forgiving them, or they weren’t a good enough friend in the first place to merit forgiveness, since you didn’t care to be around them anyway. The dilemma and decision are yours to make. Just remember that if you thought them worth “best friend” status before, keep that in mind if they offer an olive branch.
Good things come from carrying her purse!
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009This past weekend, your favorite southern couple went out with some friends Saturday night to one of our favorite local Cajun joints. The food, and company, was, as always, fantastic. After a couple hours of eating and gabbing, we decided to come back to our place for games and more laughs. As we were leaving, I noticed that our friend Brad was not only refilling Jodi’s drink, but was also holding her purse, as she was indisposed. Now, it’s not the first time I thought this, but that’s when it hit me…these 2 are great for each other!
Throughout the years, people have made fun of the guy who carries his woman’s purse. Heck, Brad Paisley even wrote a song about it! Now, I know that something as small as carrying her purse is not indicative of lasting 50 years, but it does reveal a characteristic that, in my opinion, does relate to a lasting relationship…consideration. Being considerate of your partner, and their feelings, is vital to a relationship. It shows that without their request, you’re willing to help them, it reveals a deeper connection between you both and a desire to put your partners feelings before your own. And as you all know, on this point, Jerrill and I do not waiver. We put each other’s feelings ahead of our own. Not out of obligation, but out of love and respect. And while it might not work for everyone, it works pretty well for us! Do we have our moments? Sure, nobody’s perfect, and everyone has their moments where they don’t think. But the effort is what counts.
So, here is your homework. Look at your own relationship. Do you think you’re a considerate partner? Can you name examples? If you can, great. If not, perhaps you should try and incorporate a couple of new ideas into your relationship.
Just a little food for thought! But you know, a strong bond between partners can help you get through the upcoming holidays, amongst other things!
Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule!
Friday, October 16th, 2009Today’s post is based on a blog post by Dan Miller, author of 48 Days to the Work You Love. On October 12th, he wrote about a chapter in the new book Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, called the 10,000 hours rule. Are you intrigued? You should be! Find the original blog post here.
Basically, the jist of the 10,000 hour rule is that the author’s research shows that it’s rare for a person to get to the top of their game in their chosen field without putting in at least 10,000 hours of preparation.
Raw talent is apparently not as important as the time you devote to your passion…to that thing you do better than everyone else. No matter who you are and where you came from, no one gets to the top without the 10,000 hours. And, supposing you want to get to the top of your field, that means you’ve got to WORK! In a 40 hour work week, you can finish those 10,000 hours in 5 years. If you’re doing a part time job at 20 hours a week, that’s 10 years. If you’re working 60 hours a week, that means you’ll finish in 2 1/2 years, but it also means you don’t have a work-life balance, and I can’t agree with that!
Where are you putting your hours in? Are you putting effort in the areas of your life that matter the most, or are you leaving work, coming home and turning into a couch potato? I truly hope you’re not ignoring your family in exchange for mindless channel surfing. And hey, if the area of your life that matters most, that you want to be excellent at is your relationship with your partner, I’m totally cool with that! So long as you are putting in the hours and are excellent at something you love, your favorite southern couple is behind you!
Show your appreciation!
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009I know that when you’re in a relationship, sometimes it’s hard to remember all of the little things you’re supposed to do for your partner. I know that we get busy, with children and jobs and PTA and social functions etc., but when you’re in a relationship, you need to remember to show appreciation to your partner. Now, I’m not saying you have to shower them with gifts, or fawn all over them all the time, but occasionally, it might be a good idea to say “I appreciate you” or “thank you”, and mean it.
Showing your appreciation to your partner doesn’t just let them know you care, it also shows them respect, and respect is a necessary component of a relationship. Why do I think these actions are so important? Because when you love somebody, you shouldn’t be focused on yourself all the time. Yes, it’s important that you have “me time” where you take care of yourself, but it’s just as important that you let you partner know how you feel. And I’m not just talking about women here…men need to know these things too!
You might not agree, and that’s ok. I’m simply sharing what works for your favorite southern couple! It’s our opinion that a function of a great couple is that both partners are willing to give up everything for the other, and that the other wouldn’t dare take everything from them. Good luck in showing your appreciation!
Questions or comments? Feel free to leave a comment, or ask a question about relationships! I’ll try to answer it to the best of my ability!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Free screenings for you or someone else!
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009As many of you already know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For me, it’s personal. My mother, who is the greatest woman I’ve ever known, was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2006. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was scared out of my mind. In truth, it probably didn’t help that my grandmother (my mom’s mother), whom I was also very close to, passed away just a few months earlier (not from breast cancer). So, to me, it seemed like my world was crashing down around me. I went through most of the recovery process with my mom. She required both chemotherapy and surgery, and it was very hard to watch a woman who had been so strong for so long struggle. It was…heartbreaking. But, with the power of prayer and help from some of the best (and nicest) doctors I have ever met in my life, she has made a full recovery. This experience, however, makes me think about how important it is to get screened for breast cancer, AKA, getting a mammogram. What’s better, is that I found some information about ways to get them for free, or at least on the cheap, so people without health insurance can get screened as well.
The first website is called The Breast Cancer Site. It is an interesting way to help those in need, but basically, you click the button (you can click once a day) and after a certain number of clicks (roughly 45,000) it donates a free mammogram to women in need across the country. It is a for profit business, but is also supported by corporate sponsorship, so check it out and click the button, since you could save a life with that click. Think it’s too good to be true? Verify it here!
Another website is called liv.com. It is a breast cancer awareness website that lists resources for women to get free or low cost mammograms. The United States Center for Disease Control’s National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program (NBCCEDP) is one resource you can use to get access to these low cost of free screenings. Check out their website here. Other websites listed on liv.com offering help to get screened on the cheap are The National Cancer Institute (supported by the U.S. Government), the American Cancer Society (the blue box in the middle right of the page “Find ACS in Your Community” is where you want to go. You’ll need your zip code. They can tell you what resources are available in your area.) and The American Breast Cancer Foundation’s Key to Life Breast Cancer Screening Assistance Program. This last resource doesn’t have a website, but you can call them at 877-539-2543 to enroll in their program which provides financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured women and men for breast cancer testing. If none of these suit your needs, call your local hospital and ask to speak to a social worker. They are the hospital contact that will be aware of any free or low cost mammogram/cancer screenings in your area.
Breast cancer won’t go away on it’s own. The faster they catch it, the better your chances. If my mom hadn’t been diligent in her screenings, I might have lost her, and that isn’t something I like to think about. So you’re busy with kids and career. It doesn’t matter, because you have to take care of yourself, no matter what is going on! Think about it…if you don’t take care of yourself, who will take care of your priorities (kids etc.) when you’re gone?
