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Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

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Sanity and working together…

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

There are many differences between good strong relationships and relationships that struggle.  We have discussed some of them in the past, but another characteristic of a strong relationship is working together.  When you work together as a couple, it keeps you sane, especially when you have a burden on your relationship. 

In our case, a new baby in the house is definitely a strain on our sanity as first time parents.  There are bottles to be made and diapers to be changed, all while the baby is crying.  It’s a lot on the nerves.  The only way to make it through, that I can see anyway, is to work together.  When you share the responsibilities you are not only showing respect to your partner, but you are directly impacting their stress level in a positive way.  This keeps the blood pressure low and, if your lucky, keeps the sleep deprivation to a minimum, haha. 

Identify the stressers in your relationship.  Sit down and discuss them together, and see if you can agree on a method to work together and remove the stress.  Show each other the love and respect that you felt for each other when you got married.  That is how love and respect grow throughout the years.  I love and respect Jerrill more everyday.  And the love and respect I show him, he shows to me as well, and that, people, helps you keep your sanity when you have a million things to do and no time to do it in.

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An easy way to increase your business revenues…

Monday, June 14th, 2010

One of the most important things in an entrepreneurs bag of tricks is their ability to obtain new customers and build their business more.  The more people you talk to/network with, the more people will want to try your service or buy your product.  A great way to increase your brand power and obtain new customers is by becoming involved in every civic, educational and professional organization you can that is also relevant to you and your business!

Buy building relationships with people who are also involved in these organizations, you will build a reputation as a solid and concerned citizen, and will get your name, and the name of your business out in the business world.  Just remember not to join more groups than you have time to dedicate to them.  While there are many local groups that you can join in the town/city you live in or near, there are many national groups as well.  Try to pick groups that are relevant in some way to your business, if that’s at all possible.  What are some of the national groups you could join?  Check these out:

The Boys and Girls Club of America  – Get involved in mentoring children with hard luck backgrounds.

Kiwanis International - Global volunteer organization that helps communities and children.

Volunteers of America - Service oriented organization that helps people get “back on track”

Volunteer.gov - A database that has volunteer opportunities able to be sorted by state, agency and type of opportunity.

Habitat for Humanity - A nonprofit organization that builds houses for those in need. 

There are countless others to choose from, but these are a few volunteer options to get you started.  Don’t forget, though, that you can join other groups that focus on education or professional development in your local community!

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Posted in Mucho Moolah, Monday's Money MAKING Tips! | 1 Comment »

Paying attention to your family…

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Yesterday, my beloved sent me an article about a family that is so attached to their “tech” (AKA their gadgets, like phones, MP3 players, laptops, video games etc.) that they spend time with each other without spending time with each other.  They have so many distractions that they can’t function as a normal family.  The 2nd grader has her own laptop!  It’s ridiculous! 

I have always been opposed to the excessive use of tech, especially when you are supposed to be focused on your family.  The fact is, there are times when it’s OK to tech binge, and there are times when it’s not.  Children should not have these tech things that can distract them from their family, and the parents shouldn’t set a bad example by using their gadgets all the time either.  There have been numerous studies that prove that multi-tasking is only possible for 3% of the population without the loss of quality.  With that fact in mind, what do you think happens to the quality of family time when each member of the family has a gadget in their hands and in their face?  Obviously, the quality goes down!

Am I saying that people shouldn’t ever use the tech they have?  No, of course not.  But when “family time” is really family time, it’s probably a good idea to put the tech away for the duration.  For example, when we go on vacation, we heavily limit our use of our tech.  We take our laptop with us to be able to stream music or play it from our music library while we are hanging out at the condo/hotel room.  We take our camera for pictures and the OCCASIONAL video (I’m not a big video fan since I sound every bit the hillbilly that I am :-D ).  We take the GPS to get us there safely, and our cell phones in case of emergency.  We DO NOT use the cell phones while on vacation, with the exception of the phone call made to family informing them of our safe arrival.  We limit the tech because while on vacation, there are PLENTY of other things to do and we should focus on each other, not the world around us.

Think about your household (or, like our example, your vacation).  Do you spend too much time in front of the computer?  Your gaming system?  Your smart phone?  Does your significant other have to ask you the same question 4 times before you hear them?  Have you been caught up in something on the Internet andnot heard your child call to you, or, like the article, have you forgot to pick your child up from school (etc.) because you were too engrossed in something online?  If you struggle to find the time for your family because of your gadgets, I would suggest limiting your time on them, and limiting how much your children see you on them.  If they see you do it, they will also do it, and teaching a child how to ignore their future family isn’t exactly a great life lesson.

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Birds of a feather save money together…

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

While checking out some websites the other day, I ran across a quote from a co-founder of WiseBread.com, another personal finance blog that has some good tips.  The quote says “Good money management is a lifestyle. If you surround yourself with people who share the same values, you’re more likely to stay on track”.  This is very similar to one of my favorite quotes, stating that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”, by Jim Rohn. 

Obviously they both speak for themselves, but many times we either don’t think things through or apply them in our lives.  IF, for example, we are the average of the 5 people we surround ourselves with, and we surround ourselves with people who choose to be frugal and manage their money wisely, it stands to reason that we would find it easier to stick to our decisions as well.   

So, the question is, have you thought through the people you spend the most time with these days?  Are they the type of people you would want to be if you had to be someone else?  Would you let them step into your life and run your house and job/business in your stead, making all choices and decisions for you?  If you would not trust them to make the wise decisions you would make (or wiser even), then I say perhaps you need to reevaluate the friendship.  This doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to ditch all your friends that don’t “measure up”, but maybe you need to develop better relationships with friends who meet your new found requirements, or perhaps YOU need to be the role model for your friends, encouraging them in their endeavors.  Whichever of these choices you feel you were meant to do, implementing them isn’t difficult (just being aware of the choices in front of you with regard to your friends is a step in the right direction, but also, I find that deciding to be the type of friend you want to have makes a big difference as well, since so many people are NOT the type of friend they want to have), and the rewards can be plentiful, both in wealth and in personal fulfillment. 

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Memorial Day!

Monday, May 31st, 2010

Today I just wanted to take a moment to remind all what Memorial Day is really about.  I know most of us celebrate with days off from work, cookouts, boat rides etc., but the holiday is actually about remembering our fallen military servicemen and women for all of their sacrifices.  The holiday used to be called Decoration Day, since it had (and has) become common practice to decorate the graves of fallen military soldiers throughout the years.  Nowadays, many people include all family members in the graves they decorate.  So today, as you enjoy your time off from work and sit back and relax, don’t forget to remember those who gave their lives to secure your health and freedom.  The national moment of remembrance and silence takes place at 3pm local time, if you are so inclined!

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Words of wisdom for the new graduate!

Friday, May 21st, 2010

I found a very interesting article on CNNMoney.com today, featuring some practical and funny advice for those  people graduating from school (whether that be high school, trade school or college).  The article, titled 3 things to tell a new graduate, lists the following bits of advice, in no particular order (at least, I hope it’s not in order):

  • With regard to your career, the author suggests that you heed your enemies.  The logic behind this advice is that the people you have trouble with are generally those people that have the greatest insight into you and your attitudes and faults.  What these people have to say will help you improve as a worker/entrepreneur…if you only take the time to listen.
  • With regard to the stock market, buy and hold your funds.  The author and I agree on this…people think that they can beat the stock market, but in reality, almost no one can (and you are probably not the exception).  If you buy funds and then keep them over the long run, you’re more likely to make money, at the very least thanks in part to the ability to avoid taxes and other fees.
  • Don’t be a fool with regard to your love life.   When lovers quarrel, each has the blame around 50% of the time.  Understanding this fact will help you build the kind of relationship that isn’t as susceptible to a divorce.  And as all of us know, either from personal experience or the experience of a friend or loved one, divorce sucks.  We don’t want it and should avoid it at all costs (both financially and emotionally). 

That’s it.  3 very simple little lessons that might save you a lot of headache or heartache as your graduate enters the post high school, trade school or college life that they have worked so hard to achieve.

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Digging ourselves out of the hole our parents dug for us.

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

One of the hardest things a person can do is admit the faults of their loved ones.  We don’t want to say hurtful things about someone we care about, especially if we have to say it to their face, but sometimes, it is necessary to admit those faults.  Not with anger or mean spirit, but more with the intent of constructive criticism.  So, here we go with some constructive criticism and a little bit of generalizing.  

I want my readers to understand that I don’t say this lightly, but I feel that the Baby Boomer generation made choices that, while right for them at the time, have shaped the attitudes of us Gen Xers and Gen Yers to rebel against the way our parents taught us. 

What am I referring to?  What choices did they make?  Given the innovation of the times, and the changes in attitude toward working women, the Baby Boomers were able to send both parents to work, which resulted in a higher income, but took parents away from their children.  This meant that they weren’t there all the time to ensure their children were learning all the life lessons they should, and given that they had VCRs, game consoles and personal computers to contend with, this might not have been best for every family.

Instead of learning to eat healthy and get plenty of physical activity, some of us only learned what TV dinners were and were allowed to sit and play game consoles instead of physical games outdoors.  Instead of learning to save money and pay for what we wanted with cash, we watched as our parents (and other influential adults in our lives) charged what they wanted, to be paid for over time at a later date. 

Watching this happen, most of us started off as adults who charged everything and ate whatever we wanted without caring about exercise or health.  How did this affect us?  Did we sit back and let it happen to us, teaching the same to our children?  For many of us, we did not.  We decided to take better care of ourselves and our finances.  We decided that dinner should be made from  healthy ingredients, instead of being microwaved in a box.  We decided (or were forced to realize through too much debt) that financing everything we want isn’t a smart financial decision in the long run…that living paycheck to paycheck just to “have it all” right now isn’t really living.  We decided that family time IS more important than 70 hour work weeks just to make a few extra bucks. 

Does this make our parents terrible parents?  Of course not!  We are who we are because of them!  Different parenting styles make the world go round.  It just means that some of us have to dig ourselves out of a hole, be that weight gain/health issues or debt.  Either way, we’re teaching ourselves the lessons we missed, and now just have to remember that for our own children!

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Tolerance.

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

There are a thousand wonderful traits a person can have, and a worthwhile trait of note is tolerance.  Tolerance, simply put, is enduring hardship or having patience.   I’m talking about more than just being tolerant of other races and religions.  I’m talking about tolerating quirks, attitudes and irritating traits that the people (possibly friends, family or coworkers) around you display that make you want to scream.  Why is this important?  Well, I’ve learned over the years that being intolerant can cause you more trouble than it’s worth. 

Why does it cause you so much trouble?  Well, because when you’re intolerant of something, you’re the one experiencing the turmoil, not generally the person of whom you are intolerant.  So even though they might be the one acting like the idiot, you are the one irritated and fuming.  That doesn’t exactly help your mental well being (or your blood pressure)! 

It’s a personal growth experience when you learn to tolerate someone or something.  The drama that occurs during that “experience” is something that I’m sure most of us would rather avoid (as pointed out above), but instead, we need to learn from it and create a working/lasting relationship with the person(s) in question. 

How can you give yourself a better opportunity to be a tolerant adult?  Well, honestly, I’m still learning myself, but my advice from what I’ve learned so far would be to learn tolerance as early in your life as you can!  Learn to accept that people are different, we do things differently, and if someone does something that irritates you, try to be understanding of them and their point of view.  Don’t let them get to you! 

A quick note:  Before you read this and quickly move on, saying to yourself that you are tolerant and this doesn’t apply to you, I really want you to stop and think about how you handle those types of situations…we all have room for improvement!

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Some stars should keep their day jobs!

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

There’s a new show about to start on NBC called The Marriage Ref, and while I think it’s likely to be funny, I also think there will be people out there who take the advice offered by the celebrity guests as more serious and less entertainment.  Why shouldn’t they take it as real, valuable or decent advice?  Because the stars slated to offer this advice include the likes of Madonna and Alec Baldwin!  Really?  Who in their right mind would take marriage advice from Madonna, given her 2 divorces and other past relationships.  What help could she possibly offer a struggling couple that a real, licensed therapist couldn’t do better? 

And let’s not forget the nasty divorce between Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger.  That situation was all over the entertainment magazines and shows when it was top news, and most of us remember the not so distant and very public fight he had with his 11 year old daughter, in which he called her a pig.  I don’t think he’s the best choice for helping a couple work things out.

To be fair, I think that this show will be hilarious, but only because the advice offered from the celebrities will be, to put it politely, “sub par”.  I worry that people watching it will give them credit as being an “expert” on fixing relationships, simply because they’re a celebrity.  We have a tendency to give people more credit than they’re due in our society if they’re on TV, which is ridiculous.  Just because someone is on TV does NOT make them an expert, and I hope our readers never forget it!

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Valentine’s Day tips and ideas…

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Much to the dismay of many men across the country, Valentine’s Day is this weekend and now is the time to start planning (earlier would have been good as well, but I’ll take what I can get).  So, say you want to do something for Valentine’s Day, but either can’t think of anything, or are on a tight budget…what do you do?

Well, if you are having trouble coming up with creative ideas, let me put your mind at ease that most women (not all of us, unfortunately…even though Valentine’s Day is OPTIONAL, some women expect the moon and more) are appreciative of anything you do.  So no matter what it is, the fact that you’ve done something is enough to make us happy.  That being said, if you want to get creative with the traditional Valentine’s Day ideas, to score some bonus  points, there are some great ways to do that.  For example:

  • The trifecta – Flowers, candy and jewelry.  We all like roses, but get creative and get some orchids or tulips (red or pink are probably best).  Candy is great unless she’s health conscious, so either get her favorite chocolates (they don’t have to be expensive, just her favorite) or try something a little more healthy, like her favorite fruits or nuts (the expensive ones that she won’t buy herself).  Jewelry is a personal thing, but as long as you know which color is her favorite (yellow or white gold) and which type of jewelry (bracelet, earrings or necklace) you should be fine.  No matter what you choose, be sure to get creative and hide the box where it will surprise her.
  • Dinner and a movie- This is a great gift for the significant other that doesn’t get to go out much.  The dinner should be to a nice place (where she can get dressed up, if she likes that sort of thing) and the movie should be her favorite (yes, that could mean chick flick, but come on, it’s only once a year, I know you’re man enough to live through it).
  • Cultural – If your girl likes a little culture, a trip to the theater or a museum might suit her.  Take her to her favorite cultural outing, or to a new place (or show) she hasn’t been to yet.

If  you’re on a tight budget, some of these things can sound out of your reach.  Don’t worry!  These are ways to be sweet to your significant other while watching your pennies too!  Here are some examples of the above ideas, on a budget:

  •  The trifecta – Flowers, candy and jewelry.  Flowers on a budget at Valentine’s Day isn’t too bad.  You can get them at a discount store, like Costco or Sam’s Club/Wal-Mart, the price will be what you like.  Also, it pays to buy them a week early and give them to her then, since the price will be lower (unfortunate, but yes, the florists jack-up the prices on Valentine’s Day).  Candy is easy on a budget…instead of opting for an expensive box of chocolates, bake her a delicious dessert.  This satisfies her sweet tooth, saves money and scores you points for effort!  Jewelry is easier than you think on a budget.  Most women like “costume” or “fashion” jewelry, so find out her favorite costume jewelry designer, and, if it’s in your budget, get some.  Not in your budget?  Opt for something personal, like her favorite movie on DVD, with a bag of popcorn and a note about having a movie night, or a professional massage (check your local massage school, since they often offer these services at a fraction of the cost…or, give her the massage yourself!).
  • Dinner and a movie – If she likes to go out, do a dinner out, but scale back and take her to a moderately priced place.  Otherwise, cook for her.  You can buy the ingredients to make a fancy dinner at a fraction of the cost of that same dinner out.  Set the table for a formal dinner, with full silverware, linen napkins and candles.  Inform her that she should “dress” for dinner, and be dressed up yourself, since it will make the experience more memorable.  The movie can be watched at home (budget friendly), and if you want serious bonus points, a little dancing in the living room never hurt any man, I don’t care if you’ve heard rumors to the contrary!
  • Cultural – Well, museums are still priced right for the budget conscious this year, but the theater is out, so if the museum isn’t your thing, you could both go donate blood together, or do some community service work together.  Not in that kind of mood?  Well, find a safe but culturally different part of town, and go on a mini “tour”.  Walking, biking or driving, it’s up to you.  Just do something to make it memorable.

There you have it!  A few (and long winded) tips on ways to get creative or stay in budget for Valentine’s Day!  Good luck, and I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

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