• Taxes – Gross versus Net, FICA versus income taxes…it’s all confusing to a teenager.  Actually, it’s confusing to a lot of adults as well (unfortunately), so if you don’t understand the difference, look it up, then sit down with your child when they get their first check and explain the differences to them.  It’s important for them to know what they make versus what they bring home, and where what they’re not bringing home is going.
• Bank accounts – Help your teen open up both a savings and a checking account.  It’s not only important for your teen to learn how to use a checking account, including balancing a checkbook (which you should teach them…again, learn how to if you don’t know, because you want your child to have a good financial start, don’t you??), but it’s also important for them to learn how to save money, like starting their own emergency fund, car fund or iPhone or iPad fund etc.  Delayed gratification is a very good lesson for a teen to learn, in a world of “My super sweet 16″ TV shows and teens who expect to be bought $200 blue jeans.
• Micromanaging – The above stated, let them mess up with the first paycheck.  New fancy shoes or video games might be awesome to have right then and there, but when they have no more money because they blew it all, don’t give in and give them money from your own wallet.  Let them see what it’s like to be broke.  It needs to hurt a little. 

This is a great article, so check it out!  Don’t let the opportunity to impart good financial lessons to your teenager pass you by!!!

I myself am currently named as an Executrix of an estate, although I hope not to have to be saddled with the job for many, many years, and, after I got to reading the little article on CNN Money, I began to wonder what the  basics of executing a will were, and whether or not I knew any of them.  I mean, I have no doubt that I can and will carry it out to the best of my ability, but I am no expert, and therefore, would like to have some tips on the process and legal issues that might arise.  The article I found surpassed my expectations.  From contacting the funeral home to contacting a lawyer (if necessary), this checklist has a little bit for everyone.  An important question raised is how to pay for the funeral if it has not been paid in advance.  Life insurance “isn’t paid in a week” as it says, and therefore the author recommends that the owner of the estate have money set aside for these expenses if they don’t pay for them ahead of time!  What a great suggestion!

This article not only has tips for the executor of the will, but also, at the bottom of the checklist it has some tips for the person with the estate.  This is fantastic, if you ask me, because more often than not, the issues that arise from a will (other than people being petty over material mementos) are because the deceased person doesn’t have their affairs “completely” in order.  For those of you with a will, I would double check this list to be sure you haven’t missed something.  The best tip (in my humble opinion) was to have a specific folder, binder etc. that is stored in a place that the executor and another family member know of that has ALL of your important information in it, from wills to passports to divorce decrees…and not copies either!  They need to be the originals!

I suggest to all of our readers to check out the article.  This just seems like information that could be useful for most of us in the future, especially if you follow our suggestions and get yourself our of debt and start building wealth.  You could have a “nice chunk of change” to leave to your family, and you don’t want them to get a headache from your gift!  Happy reading!

I have always been opposed to the excessive use of tech, especially when you are supposed to be focused on your family.  The fact is, there are times when it’s OK to tech binge, and there are times when it’s not.  Children should not have these tech things that can distract them from their family, and the parents shouldn’t set a bad example by using their gadgets all the time either.  There have been numerous studies that prove that multi-tasking is only possible for 3% of the population without the loss of quality.  With that fact in mind, what do you think happens to the quality of family time when each member of the family has a gadget in their hands and in their face?  Obviously, the quality goes down!

Am I saying that people shouldn’t ever use the tech they have?  No, of course not.  But when “family time” is really family time, it’s probably a good idea to put the tech away for the duration.  For example, when we go on vacation, we heavily limit our use of our tech.  We take our laptop with us to be able to stream music or play it from our music library while we are hanging out at the condo/hotel room.  We take our camera for pictures and the OCCASIONAL video (I’m not a big video fan since I sound every bit the hillbilly that I am ).  We take the GPS to get us there safely, and our cell phones in case of emergency.  We DO NOT use the cell phones while on vacation, with the exception of the phone call made to family informing them of our safe arrival.  We limit the tech because while on vacation, there are PLENTY of other things to do and we should focus on each other, not the world around us.

Think about your household (or, like our example, your vacation).  Do you spend too much time in front of the computer?  Your gaming system?  Your smart phone?  Does your significant other have to ask you the same question 4 times before you hear them?  Have you been caught up in something on the Internet andnot heard your child call to you, or, like the article, have you forgot to pick your child up from school (etc.) because you were too engrossed in something online?  If you struggle to find the time for your family because of your gadgets, I would suggest limiting your time on them, and limiting how much your children see you on them.  If they see you do it, they will also do it, and teaching a child how to ignore their future family isn’t exactly a great life lesson.

Obviously they both speak for themselves, but many times we either don’t think things through or apply them in our lives.  IF, for example, we are the average of the 5 people we surround ourselves with, and we surround ourselves with people who choose to be frugal and manage their money wisely, it stands to reason that we would find it easier to stick to our decisions as well.   

So, the question is, have you thought through the people you spend the most time with these days?  Are they the type of people you would want to be if you had to be someone else?  Would you let them step into your life and run your house and job/business in your stead, making all choices and decisions for you?  If you would not trust them to make the wise decisions you would make (or wiser even), then I say perhaps you need to reevaluate the friendship.  This doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to ditch all your friends that don’t “measure up”, but maybe you need to develop better relationships with friends who meet your new found requirements, or perhaps YOU need to be the role model for your friends, encouraging them in their endeavors.  Whichever of these choices you feel you were meant to do, implementing them isn’t difficult (just being aware of the choices in front of you with regard to your friends is a step in the right direction, but also, I find that deciding to be the type of friend you want to have makes a big difference as well, since so many people are NOT the type of friend they want to have), and the rewards can be plentiful, both in wealth and in personal fulfillment. 

I LOVE this statement.  It shows the power that your thoughts and your point of view can have on your life and your future.  You see, all too often we take the “glass is half empty” approach to life.  We are pessimistic, we expect the worst out of life and out of people we know and meet, and more often than not, we shouldn’t be doing that. 

I like to say that if you want a different outcome, you have to take a different path, and that you shouldn’t let life happen to you, you should happen to your life.  This way of thinking/doing things puts you in a better position to make positive and, on occasion, very lucrative/beneficial decisions for your future because you’re not just following the simple path or a previous path…you’re challenging yourself to be better.  This is the same idea behind Ms. Godfrey’s statement.  By telling people to raise their children to make a job and not just get a job that someone else is offering, she’s not just telling people to be entrepreneurs, she’s telling them to think for themselves, think of what they can make of themselves, and to learn how to plan for their future.  In my opinion, one key difference between the “haves” and the “have nots” of this great nation is that the “haves” have created and are on a plan.  They think positively and shape their point of view to the path that best benefits them.  It doesn’t ALWAYS matter what plan you’re on…more often than not, it just matters that you’re on a plan.

Just a little food for thought in the middle of your week.  Try a different approach.  Think positively.  Create a plan.  See how things turn out.

If you’re in the market for a home (hopefully your other debt is paid off, like we suggest, and you have a down payment), then you should be aware of what your family truly needs.  If there are 3 of you (mom, dad and baby), then a 4 bedroom house IS overkill.  If no one in the house cooks (or likes to), then you don’t REALLY need the chef’s kitchen now, do you?  You should get just as much house as is required by your families needs, that way, you can save more for the future and have your “comfortable” home paid off sooner. 

Struggling with your current home’s mortgage payment?  Maybe it’s time you downsized!  Many people get into houses that they can’t really afford, and then think there isn’t anything they can do about it, but this isn’t true.  If you bought more house than you can afford, chances are, you’re struggling.  Now, many people like to blame the banks (and there are some at fault), but they are not the only place to lay blame.  It’s easy to find and attack a scapegoat, but in reality, many people who bought more home than they could afford should have known they couldn’t afford them.  I know that the interest only loans and the ARM’s made it difficult to understand the EXACT terms of the loan, but let’s be honest…if you were approved for a $200,000 home, and you make $20,000 a year, sirens should have been going off in your head.  You should have been confused as to why you could afford so much.  You should have paused during your jumps for joy…if you were jumping for joy, saying “WOW, look what I can afford”, that WAS the warning sign! 

So, now you have more home than you can afford.  Sounds like it’s time to downsize!  I know that it can be hard to sell a home in this market, but as long as you keep your price competitive, and keep the home looking great, then you’ve got a good chance.  And something else of note?  Even if you have to take on a small personal loan to get out of the house, you’re still better off.  For example:  Let’s say your house is worth $225,000, and you put it on the market for $230,000.  Someone offers you $215,000, and they pay closing costs.  Well, after looking (really looking) at your finances, you realize you can’t afford more than a $150,000 home.  It’s better to sell the house for the offered price, take on a $10,000 personal loan, and find a house for $140,000.  You’re going to be better off, even if you did have to “take a hit” on the other house, because you will actually be able to make your mortgage payment now!  Sometimes, you just have to look at the bigger picture!

Remember, sometimes saving money IS the obvious choice.  Don’t buy more than you should.  Sounds simple, so try and live by it!

The first steps they should take toward getting their finances in order should be to find a person to whom they can be accountable.  This can be a parent, a best friend or even the pastor at their church.  It doesn’t matter who they choose, it merely has to be someone that they can trust with their private information that also has good financial sense (this doesn’t mean the person with the flashiest car or house, because those people are usually in debt themselves).  After finding someone to help keep them on “the straight and narrow path”, they need to sit down and write out their budget.  Don’t know where to begin?  Well, for now I’ll suggest this form to help you singles get started (be on the lookout for a better form from us in the future).  The important thing, no matter if you’re single or in a relationship, is that you’re on a plan and working toward a goal (hopefully to be debt free and saving for retirement). 

We always encourage our readers to leave comments with questions they might have and today is no exception.  Single or married, feel free to ask us what steps to follow up with, or any other questions you might have! 

I want my readers to understand that I don’t say this lightly, but I feel that the Baby Boomer generation made choices that, while right for them at the time, have shaped the attitudes of us Gen Xers and Gen Yers to rebel against the way our parents taught us. 

What am I referring to?  What choices did they make?  Given the innovation of the times, and the changes in attitude toward working women, the Baby Boomers were able to send both parents to work, which resulted in a higher income, but took parents away from their children.  This meant that they weren’t there all the time to ensure their children were learning all the life lessons they should, and given that they had VCRs, game consoles and personal computers to contend with, this might not have been best for every family.

Instead of learning to eat healthy and get plenty of physical activity, some of us only learned what TV dinners were and were allowed to sit and play game consoles instead of physical games outdoors.  Instead of learning to save money and pay for what we wanted with cash, we watched as our parents (and other influential adults in our lives) charged what they wanted, to be paid for over time at a later date. 

Watching this happen, most of us started off as adults who charged everything and ate whatever we wanted without caring about exercise or health.  How did this affect us?  Did we sit back and let it happen to us, teaching the same to our children?  For many of us, we did not.  We decided to take better care of ourselves and our finances.  We decided that dinner should be made from  healthy ingredients, instead of being microwaved in a box.  We decided (or were forced to realize through too much debt) that financing everything we want isn’t a smart financial decision in the long run…that living paycheck to paycheck just to “have it all” right now isn’t really living.  We decided that family time IS more important than 70 hour work weeks just to make a few extra bucks. 

Does this make our parents terrible parents?  Of course not!  We are who we are because of them!  Different parenting styles make the world go round.  It just means that some of us have to dig ourselves out of a hole, be that weight gain/health issues or debt.  Either way, we’re teaching ourselves the lessons we missed, and now just have to remember that for our own children!

Now, I am quite positive that most of us have heard people say that communication is the key to a good relationship.  Well, that statement is not only inaccurate, seeing as it has to be GOOD communication to be worthwhile, but it also leaves out a couple of other very important parts of a healthy relationship: Respect and appreciation.  Although we all know that respect and appreciation are important, we are all generally so self-centric that we only focus on when we aren’t receiving them.  And what I have to say to you is this: Why?  Why do you think that your partner should show you respect and appreciation if you aren’t showing them that same respect?  It isn’t a one way sort of thing!  It’s just like saying please and thank you!  You should WANT to show respect and appreciation to the person that you love, just as much as you want to receive it.  I don’t wake up in the morning wondering what ways my husband can show me his love, respect and appreciation!  I wake up wondering what ways I can show him my love respect and appreciation! 

Here’s the short and tall of it:  You can communicate until you’re blue in the face, but if that communication (or any other part of the relationship) doesn’t include respect and appreciation, then the relationship will suffer.  Not sure how to get started??  How about saying please and thank you?  How about asking your partner if you can do anything for them?  That way, their emotional piggy bank fills up and overflows, making it easier on them to reciprocate!

So you say you don’t know how to do certain things around the house?  Learn.  Lack of knowledge is no excuse for not doing something!  Check out the Diy Network for instructions on how to fix lots of common things around the house.  Every time you fix something yourself, you’re saving money for your future!   If you’re hiring out lawn mowing and driveway shoveling, stop.  Unless you are not physically capable, there is no reason you should be paying someone to do things around your house!  Besides, a little extra physical activity is good for us all!

Your favorite southern couple hates to hire out work.  We try to do as much as we can ourselves, and only hire out when absolutely necessary (having a broken tree removed from our yard, for example).  If we don’t know how to fix something, we research it.  We do understand that not everyone is “handy” around the house, however.  If you’re not handy, then befriend someone who is, and trade services.  Whatever your talent, exchange that for their help.  Maybe they fix your toilet and you help them (as a personal trainer, for example) teach them a basic fitness program in return. 

Whatever the circumstance, figure out a way to do things for yourself!  Not only will you save money, but you will become more self sufficient!

If the child decides not to go to school, there will be penalties in an ESA or 529 account that isn’t used for schooling, so you can just kiss some of that money goodbye.  Now, this isn’t a totally terrible thing, since had you not saved it for education, the money would’ve been taxed anyway, but I’m sure it will still sting a little.  I don’t have a huge problem with a child that decides not to go to school, financially anyway, because it’s not impacting your budget, only (possibly) their future. 

My problem, as I’m sure our regular readers know, is with the child who asks for (demands?) the money you saved for their education, to be paid out to them in cash, since you paid for their siblings education.  In spite of what your child seems to think, your money is NOT their money.  I know that you want to be fair with your 2 children, but this money was set aside for their education, not for their amusement.  It’s your money, and if the child decides not to go to school, it should STAY your money!  Like the article says, if the child wants money, tell them to get a job! 

Instant gratification is having a lack of impulse control, and, conversely, delayed gratification  is having the ability to wait for something you want (i.e. willpower or impulse control).  In our society we tend to think of children as having no impulse control, and learning this ability as they get older and become an adult.  Well, what happens when the child isn’t taught impulse control, and grows up with the same attitudes they had as a child?  We think that these children grow up to be the people who struggle with any vices that require willpower/impulse control, such as spending money and overeating etc.  These people still have the “I want it now” attitude, and whatever “it” is, they don’t deny themselves the treat, because they “deserve” it.  Can you imagine what the little girl with the spa package at age 5 will act like as an adult if she  doesn’t learn to have self control (which is not likely to be learned from her mother, I’m sorry to say)?  So, what’s the good news?  If you struggle with impulse control, you can learn it as an adult.  You just have to take each instance where you need willpower and ask yourself why you need the item now, and if it’s worth it.  It’s not easy.  You will fail on occasion.  But every time you don’t fail, that’s one step closer to mastering the skill!

Delayed gratification is one of the biggest tricks up the sleeves of people who succeed.  They know how to wait for what they want.  Knowing this, as a parent, make sure you teach your child how to have willpower, and as an adult (who lacks willpower), decide that you aren’t going to fall victim to your childhood whims of instant gratification and help yourself succeed!

Now, I’m sure you can tell from above, we believe if you can’t keep a minimum amount in your bank account, or can’t keep from overspending because you aren’t diligent, then you shouldn’t have a bank account, and should operate on a cash only (money orders to pay bills) system.  However, if you choose to have  a bank account, and struggle to keep funds in it, then use the other services that many banks offer, that don’t come attached to a ~$35 fee PER TRANSACTION! 

The scary stuff you get in the mail from the bank, that says your debit card will stop working and the like is true, because OF COURSE it should stop paying people if you don’t have any money in your account!  That is the way it is supposed to work!  The card is not supposed to let you spend more than you have!  Overdraft “protection” is like you receiving a mini loan from the bank…kind of like those payday check cashing places, but wrapped in a prettier sounding name.  Ignore these letters from the bank!  You don’t want to keep paying $35 a transaction loan fees for the rest of your life!  DO NOT opt in to this plan, just learn to watch your account and don’t over spend. 

If you absolutely CANNOT LIVE without overdraft and refuse to be on cash only (hard headed, aren’t you??), then there are a couple of alternatives.  Many banks will allow you to link your checking account to your savings account to prevent overdrafts.  Some will also link it to a line of credit (not something we recommend) to prevent these overdrafts from happening.  Neither of these programs are free, but they are cheaper than overdraft, and won’t catch you off guard either, because, let’s face it, if you don’t have the money to cover your purchase, you definitely don’t have the money to cover your $35 a transaction overdraft “protection”.

If or when you start receiving these notices from your bank, do yourself a favor, and “just say no” to overdraft protection…instead, be more diligent with your account, or switch to cash!

Like furniture rental places, you can apparently also rent the rims you’ve been dying to have for your car as well, that way, you can look cool, and rich, even if you’re broke.  Dan Miller has a knack for talking about topics that are important to me, and there are few things that get my blood boiling more than people who spend themselves into debt chasing status.  He highlights the new book from Thomas Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door and The Millionaire Mind, both of which are excellent books (I will be buying and reading this newest addition to his works).  This new book highlights some of the habits of the truly rich (as opposed to those who only appear rich), which, in general, does not include renting your rims. 

Read the post, and go buy (or check out from your local library) Thomas Stanley’s newest book, Stop Acting Rich.  Let’s all begin to be open minded to the idea that having fancy things (for status) and spending obscene amounts of money on weddings and “McMansions” are not the real way for the average person to become wealthy.  Once you stop believing you are going to simply luck into a fortune, or become famous and rich out of the blue, you can focus on becoming rich the way most people do…through saving, working hard, and striving to be the best at their passion so they can advance themselves in that particular field over the years.

What do I do with my fashion knowledge??  I use it to shop for bargains at retail stores that aren’t going to break the bank.  Some people, however, think that they have to have what’s in the magazine, and what the stars are wearing, and they blow through their credit card limits barely noticing as they chase the current trends.  These poor people would rather be in debt than off trend or insignificant.  They chase celebrity status and think they are entitled to the best things in life.  I feel very bad for these people, because they don’t understand the damage that they’re doing to their lives, all in the pursuit of fame and appearances.  Do a google search for how to become famous, get 80 million results…search for how many people become famous, and get no relevant or accurate results.  For many people, this is an obsession, and it will cause them a lot of heartache throughout the years if they don’t change.

So, what are a couple of ways to turn the negatives of obsessing over fame and status into a positive?  Well, deciding to become the best at what you do, even if it means you’re not famous or on TV, is a good start.  That way, you’re pouring your energy and ambition into something that is likely to help you secure a decent lifestyle and a comfortable retirement in the future, and you’re not distracted by what is not likely to happen.  Also, challenge yourself to either save everything you were spending on those expensive lifestyle goods, or challenge yourself to find the absolute best price on them.  You’d be surprised at how much money you can save, if you just stop paying attention to the designer label!  

Remember, being an adult isn’t about age…it’s about character, attitude and actions…don’t let your actions reveal you to be a child, only out to get attention and the latest, coolest toys.

Small Business Tips, By Douglas C. Howard

A Message to Employees

As a small business owner, one of the hardest aspects of running a business is finding the time to do it yourself, or be willing to delegate the task to someone else.  The first course of action provides the benefit of knowing that the task was done specifically how you, the owner, wanted it done, in a timely fashion, and you do not have anyone to blame for failure except yourself.  Delegation, of course, means that you may benefit from someone else’s expertise, frees you for other important tasks, and allows your employees the chance to prove themselves.

Of course, the pitfalls for the first course of action, are that you do not have enough time to do everything, you must find some way to balance running your business with your life, and you may not be the best person to handle that specific task.  The downside to delegation is that you have to trust someone to take care of the task, they may not do it exactly how you would have or would have wanted it done, and they may not do it in a timely fashion.

“A Message to Garcia” is a short essay by Elbert Hubbard written in 1899.  No doubt many of you have already read and studied its message, being that of a short work.  But its message is still relevant today, more so than ever.  I recently ran across it and thought a brief summary of the work would be great as “A Message to Employees”.

“A Message to Garcia” is set during the conflict between Spain and the United States and takes place in Cuba.  Of course at that time, communication had to take place in person or via courier, if telegraph were unavailable.  The essay centers on an Army Lieutenant by the name of Andrew Rowan.  General Garcia was the commanding officer of insurgents located in Cuba.  He was located somewhere in the mountainous region of Cuba and would be difficult to find and communicate with.  A message had to be gotten to him so that his forces could be mustered.  How was a message to be gotten to Garcia?  President William McKinley and other commanding generals were unsure, until Lt. Rowan was suggested, stating that he was the person for the job, “if anyone can.” 

Rowan was summoned, given the message, told the general location of Garcia, and was sent off on his way.  He was not told how to do the job, or how to find Garcia, nor did he ask.  He was simply delivered to Cuba on one side of the island, and three weeks later picked up on the other side of the island, having completed his task.

So I ask employees, “Are you the Rowan of your company?” 

If you strive to be the Rowan of the company you work for, here are some general tips.

First, be available for assignments, any assignment, without hesitation.  The owner of the company or your direct supervisor may not want to ask you do something that may seem so menial, but if it is a project that they can get off of the “to-do” list, it may help them immensely.  If you are adaptable to whatever task is at hand, you will become indispensable to your company.

Second, be reliable.  If your boss asks you to get something done in a timely manner, have it done by that deadline.  Often other deadlines must be met down the line, so do not be the weak link.

Third, ask for guidance on the task, but figure out how to get it done on your own.  This is a fine line to walk, but the more you can do on your own, the more burden you relieve from your superior.  The more burden you relieve, the more grateful your superior will be.

Fourth, take action.  So often people get bogged down in the details that they become apoplectic and unable to even start a project.  Often times procrastination prevents even the first step from being taken, which is most often the hardest step to take.  As I write this, I have had to stave off turning on the television, checking my email, researching other issues not relevant to this article at hand, getting up to grab lunch, and a hundred other minuscule thoughts that crossed my mind to prevent me from writing this article.

Fifth, be diligent.  After taking the first step, be diligent in taking the next several steps.  Eventually you will come out on the other side.  See the preceding paragraph for an explanation.  Whether it takes an hour or three weeks, staying on task, will eventually get it done.  And it will show your employer that you do not need constant hand-holding or someone looking over your shoulder to make sure that you are getting your work done.

I hope this is helpful.  Since “A Message to Garcia” is short, it is well worth the read.  It is considered public domain and a copy of the complete text can be found at HowardLawGroup.com on the “Small Biz Tips” page.

Douglas C. Howard is an attorney based in Frankfort, Kentucky that assists small businesses with their legal needs and has taught “Entrepreneurship 101″ for the Thornhill Community Education Center and posts tweets and other updates on Twitter under his Twitter name, LegalPreneur.

From Wikipedia:  Elbert Hubbard was an author and philosophers who edited and published two magazines, The Philistine and The Fra. The Philistine was bound in brown butcher paper and full of satire and whimsy. (Hubbard himself quipped that the cover was butcher paper because “There is meat inside.”)  Owing to his prolific publications, Hubbard was a renowned figure in his day.

First of all, stick to your budget, but allow yourself a little indulgence on rare occasion.  Why?  Well, it’s my opinion that everyone only has so much willpower to give to something, and eventually they will break and indulge anyway, so little indulgences keep away the big ones.  So, what types of indulgences are little?  Well, when you’ve got your finances locked down, and you’re buying basic needs only when it comes to groceries, TV and movies/shows etc., on occasion it wouldn’t hurt to buy a nice meal from the grocery.  Make that a special family night with a nice meal and some board games or something.  Or, you could save a couple of bucks every week out of your grocery budget to take the family to the movies or some other inexpensive activity.  Your choice!  The point is to indulge occasionally to keep you focused and on task, without blowing through your budget.  If you never treat yourself, you might fall off the wagon.  Notice to those of you who are “used to” treating yourselves…this does not mean you can do your normal “treating”…no mani/pedi’s, or blowouts, or daily cupcake from the specialty $10 a cupcake store, or expensive clothes/shoes/tools.  This is a small indulgence.  A $20 pick me up a couple of times a month.  If you can’t stick to that, you’ll never get out of debt.  And no, you don’t “deserve” those mani/pedi’s, because they are what got you into debt in the first place! 

Trying to do 2 or more hard things, like getting out of debt and quitting smoking (for example) at the same time, means even more added stress to your willpower.  You have to give a little slack and indulge yourself  while getting out of debt, because the alternative,in this example, is indulging in smoking.  Not cool.  And indulging a little there would save you money anyway, since once you quit smoking, you would have a ton of cash to put toward paying down your debt!

What’s the take away?  Get on a budget.  Pay off your debt.  Learn to live like an adult who doesn’t get everything they want every time they want it.  But stay on this path for the long haul by making the occasional small ticket splurge!

The article is a little lengthy, but it’s worth the read, if only so you can laugh at it as you read.  Here are some highlights:

• Arbitration – The author says that credit card arbitration is a fabulous feature.  Well, when I used credit cards, I never had to use this feature, even when I had problems with stores.  Also, opinions are split as to whether arbitration is good or bad.  This article says the consumer doesn’t usually come out on the winning end. 
• Automatic bill payment – Obviously, you can set up your bills to be paid from your account.  So?  You can do that with a debit card as well, which comes from YOUR money, not borrowed money. 
• Bulwark against identity theft – The author points out that credit card companies have laws in place to make sure they don’t charge you for fraudulent charges, after a $50 fee, within 60 days.  This is true.  However, debit cards have systems in place as well.  Within 2 days, it’s a $50 fee and a $500 fee up to 60 days.  Most banks voluntarily choose to extend the $50 fee to 60 days, and not charge $500.  So again, it’s a wash.
• Credit Improvement – I wish people would quit focusing on “improving your credit score through credit cards!  Having cash to pay for things makes credit cards pointless, doesn’t it?  Which makes your credit score less important.  Yes, you might need it to buy a house, but if you put at least 10% to 20% down when you buy the house, and have a good income, I doubt they will pay close attention to your credit score.
• Extended Warranties – These things are a waste of money most of the time anyway, so tauting them as an advantage doesn’t really make sense.  Period.
• Interest Free Loans – Well, interest free loans don’t matter if you pay for what you want with cash!  If you don’t have the money for it, don’t buy it.  Want money for “emergencies”??  That’s why you have an emergency fund!
• Purchase Protection - Some cards pay to fix or replace items broken that you paid for with a credit card.  They don’t do it out of the kindness of their hearts.  You, and others, are probably paying for it, you just might not know you are.
• Rental Car Coverage – Your auto insurance covers this.  So, why do you need more?  A silly advantage, considering auto insurance is mandatory, and credit cards are not!
• Rewards, Rewards, Rewards- Yes, some cards offer rewards, but that only encourages you to use them more!  Also, unless you stay in hotels a lot, fly a lot or whatever else they offer “points” for, the points are not useful.  Other rewards are usually not worth it, or are something that you could have bought outright, and saved on interest if you carried a balance.  I do know 1 person who got use out of their points, but it was her business credit card.  In general, not worth it!

My favorite quote from the article:  “I get all these goodies largely because so many other folks play the credit card game so badly.  The profits they generate for the credit card issuers essentially pay for my freebies.”  So, she plays the “game” well, and you pay for her rewards and benefits.  Why not just get out of the game?  Use debit cards or cash.  You’ll save more money in the long run!

There are very few people out there who can make intuitive leaps of greater understanding out of scarce information.   You know, the people who excel in an area in spite of all surroundings and obstacles.  These are the “genius janitors” out there, solving quantum physics equations on their lunch breaks.   They are the jungle explorers who can successfully navigate to the other side, safe from animals and disease. These are the people that make/invent the things that push civilization forward.  People like Leonardo da Vinci and Nicola Tesla.  For the rest of us mere mortals, gleaning a deep understanding of something takes work and time.   Time we don’t generally have.  Another problem?  Many of us have too much pride to ask those individuals that already have the knowledge we need to share it with us.   It’s hard for us to make progress as individuals, much less move forward and take a bunch of people with us. You know who you are!   You are the man that refuses to ask for directions and gets lost, because navigating from point A to point B seemed like such an easy task at the beginning of the road trip (Thank goodness for GPS!).  You are the person out there quietly struggling to pay the bills and building up a savings account because you were never taught how in school and never sought out the advice of someone who has it all figured out.   You know how your favorite southern couple feels about that!  Swallow that pride!  Find somebody who is “smarter” than you and ask them to share their knowledge.   Odds are, they will happily do so, and you won’t have to reinvent the wheel.   Find someone who is already doing what you want to do yourself, be it find that boutique or thrift store across town, balance that budget, or solve that physics equation! 

You don’t have to go through life without help.  Nobody does.  There are scads of things out there to help you along, some are free and some aren’t, but they are all there for you.  But you have to take the first step.  You have to ask for help, before it is given to you!

I hate to see people suffer, and those people that have lost their jobs are in my prayers.  However, the falling home prices are only an immediate concern if you are trying to sell your house and/or have lost your job.  If you have a stable income and are contented in your home, staying there for a few years (decade, maybe?) isn’t a big deal, so neither is the drop in value.  Debt, is, as always, a major concern for us.  If you are employed, you should be making a budget, sticking to it, funding your emergency fund and getting out of debt.  If you are unemployed, then you are in an income crisis, and that should be your main concern…along with food, shelter (that doesn’t mean a “McMansion”) and basic utilities (i.e. lights, water and heat).  You can’t focus on paying people back what you owe until you get stability back in your life, so put them on hold, even if it takes a few months. 

I would like to make a point for our readers though: with roughly 10% unemployment, that means that 10 people out of 100 are out of work, which is the same as saying 90 people of 100 are employed…it’s terrible for those 10 people, but overall, it’s not a catastrophe.  And those 90 out of 100?  They are shopping!  Maybe less often than before, and they might be spending less than before, but they are shopping…at least, that’s the way it looks EVERY time I drive past/go to the mall.  The place is packed!  As usual, I can’t find parking there, and the Christmas season was just as bad as usual.  Now, like I said, I know this isn’t the case everywhere, but the media’s version that everyone everywhere is suffering terribly, in houses they can’t afford, without jobs and piling up debt.  This isn’t true either.  The truth, as usual, is probably somewhere in the middle.  Some are suffering, some aren’t.  If you are suffering, I wish you luck and speed in your job searches and in getting out of debt, and if your job and home life are stable and “secure”, work hard to keep it that way, and help those who need it, either with prayer, food donations or job contacts (etc.).

As I said above, we also go over our budget reports to understand what is being under-funded and what is being over-funded.  We look at EVERY budget item.  Last night, we had to increase the money funding our medical budget and our grocery budget (I swear the grocery stores just keep raising the prices!).  Now, you might be asking “how do you increase a line item?”, and the answer is simple; Something else has to be cut back.  We took the money from our monthly savings (grudgingly) to fund the additional money needed for the medical and grocery budget items.  What if you have no savings?  Then you have to cut back on another line item, like cable, telephone or Internet.  Is your budget so slim that you don’t have ANYextras?  Then you need to try cost cutting to bring your spending in line with your budgeted amount, or increase your income to cover the overages.  It’s simple math…your budget must be balanced!  If there aren’t enough funds, you must cut back, or make more!

Now I challenge you to have your own budget committee meeting (if you’re single, you still need to have the meeting with just yourself, or a friend/family member you trust to share this info with)!  Sit down and figure out how much you spent on all your expenses this last year!  How much did you go over? Under?  Do you even have a budget?  First things first, you need a budget.  Get out a pen and paper, and write down all of your expenses, in order of importance (1. housing, 2. food, 3. electricity etc.), then write down your income.  Assign amounts to each category.  If you run out of income before you reach the bottom, then you either need to cut back your expenses, or increase your income.  Did you reach the bottom with money to spare?  Great!  If you have debt, use the money to pay it off, if not, start saving an emergency fund for 3-6 months worth of expenses, and after that, for retirement! 

It’s our opinion that money works for you and not against you if you watch it like a hawk.  Don’t give yourself the opportunity to mess up!  Start this year off right, and take your budget committee meeting to the kitchen table tonight!

So, keep our advice in mind, and don’t touch it!  If you’re the type of person to go out for “retail therapy” (do NOT get me started on how much I loathe that phrase, and what it implies), then you need to find something to do with your hands.  Put them in your pocket, carry a big bag in your hands, text etc.  Finding something to do with your hands could save you a lot of money over the course of the month, because every time you see a $200 and don’t buy it, that’s $200 in your pocket for something else, which I hope will be savings!

Generation Y is a term applied to those people currently 22 to 33 years old, of which, I am a member.  These people are typically the offspring of Baby Boomers, and according to many in the work force, are nothing like their parents, especially in how they view their jobs.  In the past, this (my) generation has been characterized as a bunch of job-hoppers.   But now that they and their friends are experiencing layoffs and financial problems, the number of those surveyed that had changed jobs in the last 2 years dropped from 40% to almost half of that, and almost a quarter of them plan to stay with their employer until they retire…now there’s some surprising information!

Another interesting thing of note, however, is that the economy and higher rates of unemployment have changed the optimism and confidence typically displayed by this group of people, and they are becoming more financially conservative…all I have to say is that it’s about time! 

Apparently, a new survey shows that 41% of Gen Y-ers have become more fiscally conservative in the last year, and nearly 2/3 say they’re “trying to save more now than a year ago”.  I think that is incredible!  To know that a lot of people from my generation are waking up and saving is great.  And as far as retirement, in the last year the number of Gen Y-ers that are saving for retirement rose from 18% to 53%, but the majority of them are only focused on an emergency fund (which is a good start!).  Considering that more than 30% of Gen Y-ers owe more than $5,000 in credit card debt, saving for an emergency and/or retirement is a nice change of pace. 

No matter what their motives, the Generation Y group has started to notice the benefits of saving money and job security.  I have feared that my fellow Gen Y-ers would never learn this lesson, but I am happily wrong.  Maybe it was the economy, maybe it was the fact that it became cool to be a “recessionista”…or maybe it was that we got tired of hearing the word “recessionista”, and started watching our money to get people to quit using that word…either way, it happened, and hopefully it’s here to stay!

This is one of the most ridiculous things going on in our society right now.  I cannot believe that Boomers are giving so much to their grown, totally able to work (even if that job is “beneath them”) adult children.  I mean, come on…so what if the job doesn’t pay $100,000 a year with nice perks etc.  There is value in being able to say you are making it on your own.  Let’s break down that number above…$59.000 in 5 years is roughly $12,000 a year, or $1,000 a month!  That is a part time job!  You want that lifestyle?  Don’t get it from your parents, who would like to retire soon!

The bottom line is this:  If you’re a Boomer and are looking at your retirement nest-egg, realizing that retirement is going to be tough (if possible at all now or in the future), then you need to evaluate where your money is going.  If, that money is going to your children, it is time to cut them off!  They can have what’s left when you’re gone (if anything) and do what they want with it at that time.  Why would you risk your livelihood on their new car/home improvement etc.?  Teach them the hard lesson that sometimes you have to take care of yourself.  They will have to learn that lesson when you’re gone anyway, and it will be easier if they have your shoulder to cry on when they learn that lesson.

Are you the child of a Baby-Boomer?  Do you “borrow” money from them that you never pay back?  Perhaps it’s time for you to realize that you’re draining their retirement money, and that you need to grow up and pay your own way.  Nowhere in the “how to be a parent” handbook does it say that your parents are responsible for paying your way from birth to YOUR retirement!  Cut them a little slack!  If you can’t live without all of those nice things that you’re buying with their money, get a part time job…otherwise, perhaps it’s time you learned to live within your means!

Okay, so here’s your refresher course, not that most of you need it!  When you’re out shopping, and you see something you like, you can approach it 1 of 2 ways.  The first way (the one we opt for) is to call your spending buddy and tell them what you’re thinking of buying.  If they think it’s frivolous, they can talk you out of the purchase before you buy it.  The second option is to call your spending buddy after you’ve made the purchase and try and defend it.  The difference is usually how bad you can be made to feel.  Think about it…if you call during your shopping, they can stop you from buying it and praise you for putting it up.  If, however, you choose to call your spending buddy after the purchase, while defending it you could feel very guilty for the purchase and it could cause problems in the relationship.  I think it’s worth the risk to the relationship, however, if it teaches a spend-thrift a hard lesson to learn!

Some other information worth noting…if you choose your significant other as your spending buddy (which is the system your favorite southern couple has in place), you had better be sure you have an absolutely solid relationship that cannot be shaken by a little  criticism and guilt.  My advice would be to try it on a temporary basis for a week or two before deciding to put it in place as your go-to system.  If you find that your feelings are hurt by your significant other, and you can’t get past it, stop the trial before real problems follow and both of you should choose someone else to be your spending buddy.  Who makes a good spending buddy?  Someone you look up to or respect.  A person that can criticize you without losing your friendship or relationship.  This could be your mother, sister, brother or best friend.  You decide who works best for you, but just get the system in place.  The quicker you start the buddy system, the more money you’ll save!

We have all seen this in our own lives, if not to the extent of jail time.  Somebody tells a little white lie on their resume to make themselves sound better for the job.  People update their statuses to make themselves sound more fabulous and exciting than they really are.  They embellish the problems they had on their car ride/plane ride etc. to make you feel sorry for them.  Whatever the situation, people like to exaggerate when it comes to who they are and what they do.  The sad part is, who we are IS enough for most people, and the people it isn’t enough for are not worth your time!  Do you really want to spend your life trying to impress other people with lies, or live your life, whatever it is, without the embellishments?

Do you find yourself inventing things when you share your history with other people?  Are there things that you’d like to change about yourself, or are you happy with who you are?  If you have things you’d change, have you written them down, and set up a plan to change what you’re not happy with?  That would be where I would start!  Good luck!

Conflicting information is what the author cites as a problem.  An advanced estimate of the annualized 3rd quarter GDP was up 3.5%, but consumer spending fell 0.5% in September.  The GDP numbers are a result of government spending, and, as you would expect, unemployment, and the fear of unemployment are the result of the slump in consumer spending.  The fact is, a recent poll showed 58% of people (October)  still believe the recession is hanging on, up from 52% (September).  And while public opinion certainly isn’t the only factor in the economy, it DOES factor into the economy.  This is obvious…if people think the economy is down, it affects the way the go about their daily lives, and what they do and don’t spend.

You see, there are a lot of opinions out there on where this country and it’s citizens are headed thanks to this economic mess.  Some are saying that we are fine and that everything will go back to “normal” soon, and some conspiracy theorists seem to think we’re going to become third world nation.  The truth, thankfully, is probably somewhere in the middle.   If you read the original article, you should check out some of the absolutely ignorant and insane comments posted by readers.  I’m no economist, but I’m also not going to listen to anyone whose claims sound outlandish at best and pray on the fear and ignorance of other people.  My guess is that the economic turmoil will continue for a while…how long? I have no idea.  The economy needs to correct itself from the inflated values that  we placed on our assets (namely, our houses), and until it corrects itself, I don’t think things can get better.  However, I DO think things will get better.  Banks will start lending again, companies will start hiring again and people will start spending again.  Do I think it will go back to the way things were? No, and I hope it doesn’t.  We shouldn’t expect to buy a home and 3 years later move with 50% equity because of the jump in value…that’s not right.  Slow and steady wins the race people.  When things start to improve, you will have to SAVE your money and PAY DOWN your mortgage for there to be equity in it…and that’s the way it SHOULD be!

You see, it’s become part of our culture to shop-shop-shop.  Retail therapy, they call it.  Think about that statement.  They want you to come and spend money to make yourself feel better.  Is that the way we should be relieving stress/improving our mood?  I don’t think so.  It’s an instant gratification thing.  We are like children with a shiny new toy…retail therapy!  How ridiculous!  Sounds like we’re simply encouraging ourselves to act like children.  I think we should act like adults.  Adults save up for things.  They have delayed gratification.  They don’t get retail therapy, they relieve stress by being with friends and family (or getting a REAL therapist, not one that doubles as a satchel purse and is called Louis Vuitton).  This, is why I like lay-a-way.  It allows people who don’t have the cash to pay for something all at once an option that doesn’t charge high interest and isn’t a credit card.  As a bonus, you don’t get the merchandise until you pay for it in it’s entirety, so it teaches delayed gratification!

I should note that we don’t really use lay-a-way ourselves, because, as most of you know, we save up throughout the year to pay for the things we want.  We have a Christmas category in our budget, that receives money each and every week.  This ensures we will have the money that we have determined we want to spend on the holiday, in time for said holiday (and in case you’re wondering, we determine the amounts in all budget categories at our “new year new budget” committee meeting, held in January).  If however, you haven’t been keeping up with your budget (and I really hope you have), then lay-a-way is the way to go for you.  Just remember this phrase…I WILL NOT use credit cards on presents!

• When you shake hands with someone, make sure you follow it up with washing your own hands.  Washing your hands often sends the germs down the drain.
• Stop touching your face.   Your eyes and nose are common places for germs to get you.   Hands off!  (This, unfortunately, is probably how I got sick.)
• Get some sleep already!  It just makes sense that you need more sleep when you’re sick, so rest a lot and sleep more!
• Get your flu shot!  Chances are, if you’re worried about the flu, you’ve already got a flu shot, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention it.
• Eat healthy foods.  You might feel that people harp on eating fruits and veggies all the time, but when  you’re sick, it’s a must.  The vitamins in these foods help your body heal itself.
• Exercise.  Now, you knew that I was going to include this one!  Working out enhances your immune system, which we could all use.  A helpful hint, however, is to be sure and wash hands/use hand sanitizer often while at the gym, and not touch your face (this, again, is probably where I got into trouble.  I can’t help but wipe the sweat from my face…big no no).
• If you think they’re sick, stay back!  When you see people who are obviously sick, don’t get close.  It doesn’t matter if they’re a stranger, your boss or a member of your family, keep your distance.
• Use Hand sanitizer.  Make sure you buy the right kind.  Sanitizer and wipes that aren’t alcohol based won’t be as effective.
• If you double dip, don’t share the dip.   I don’t judge you fro double dipping, but if you do, get your own dip, so others aren’t sharing your germs.  You can always spoon out some dip on your plate, so you and your friends/family aren’t germ swapping!
• Ditch the cloth purse.  Purses collect germs, since they end up on surfaces covered with germs.  Cloth purses will hold more germs, since they can’t be wiped down easily.  Use leather/vinyl etc. purses in winter months, and wipe them down.
• Sneeze into the crook of your elbow.    It sounds weird, but your hands usually have germs on them, so sneezing in them couls spread more germs.

If you’re already sick, here are some tips:

1. Stay home and medicate.  Don’t go out.  Don’t keep company.  Just stay in and get better (hence, I’ve been stuck in this house since Sunday.  I’m not happy about it, but it’s the smart thing to do.).
2. Pay attention to your symptoms.  If you keep getting worse, contact your doctor.  It might not be a cold, it could be the flu, a sinus infection, bronchitis, walking pneumonia etc.
3. Hydrate.  Keep drinking fluids, because dehydration can make you worse.  If you’re not able to keep down fluids, contact your doctor.

That’s it!  For more info on avoiding whatever illness is going around in your local community, contact your doctor or your local health department.  FYI, your local health department is a valuable tool, and has a wealth of information…use it!

Tips for child Halloween activities:

• Pick out or make a costume that will be safe. Make it flame retardant, and the eye holes should be large enough for good peripheral vision.
• Warn children not to eat any treats before an adult has carefully examined them for evidence of tampering.
• Treat your kids to a spooky Halloween dinner.  It will make them less likely to eat their candy before you check it for them.
• Be sure older children TAKE FRIENDS and younger children are accompanied by a TRUSTED ADULT when “Trick or Treating” OR…
• Know the route your kids will be taking if you aren’t going with them!
• Explain to children the difference between tricks and vandalism.   “Egging” a house may seem like fun but they need to know that it is vandalism and the  clean up and damages can ruin Halloween. If they are caught vandalizing, make them clean up the mess they’ve made, and pay for the damages, no matter how long it takes them to pay/work it off!
• Children should go only to homes where the outside lights are on as a sign of welcome.
• Teach children to NEVER enter a home without prior permission from their parents or guardians.  This does not include their teenage babysitter or sibling.
• Teach children to NEVER approach a vehicle, occupied or not, unless they are accompanied by
  a parent or adult guardian.
• Make sure children carry a flashlight or glow stick to see and be seen.
• Teach children if anyone tries to grab them to make a scene; scream things like “this person is not my father/mother/guardian”; and make every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.

Tips for adult Halloween activities:

• Keep an eye on the drinking, don’t let it get out of hand.
• Take the keys away from anyone that may be driving, and be sure everyone knows they are welcome to sleep over, even if they have to crash on the floor.
• Have one person stay sober and offer to drive those people home who may have had too much to drink.
• When deciding on a menu, check and see if anyone attending the party has food allergies that might be a problem, and be sure you have a few dishes for those friends who are vegetarians!
• Don’t forget to watch who’s coming in and out of your house.  

That’s it boys and girls!  Get out there and have fun this Halloween, but be safe! 

For more info, or the sources for these tips, check here, here and here!

So, what is a reverse mortgage?  Well, you can read the full description here, but a simple explanation is that it is a loan for senior citizens, used to release (give back to the owner) the equity of the property as one lump sum or multiple payments over time. The home owner’s obligation to repay the loan is deferred until the owner dies, the home is sold, or the owner leaves (usually going to a long term care facility). 

Today’s article (CNN Money Blog post) is titled Reverse mortgages: Sub prime mess déjà vu?, by Carla Fried.  It looks at how a lot of retirees are taking out reverse mortgages, since they have insufficient nest eggs to carry them through retirement, and how a lot of people, Comptrollor of the Currency John Dugan included, think these financial products have some of the same characteristics as sub prime mortgages.  Considering the mess to which the sub prime mortgages contributed, that should definitely make us be wary of these products.

Some resources to check into, if you want to learn even more about reverse mortgages and their pitfalls, are as follows:

• AARP.org – A section on this website is dedicated educating seniors on reverse mortgage basics, their alternatives and ways that the financial product might be abused.  Check out the web page here.
• U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development – An informative website put on by the government.  It’s not as suspicious of the reverse mortgage product as the AARP website, but it still speaks of the dangers of scam artists peddling information that they give away on their website for free!

I know that there are some people who think these products have their place, but I have to disagree.  As I have said, I’m fine with 15 yeaar fixed rate mortgages, but products like these, just seem to part people with their money.  Make your own choice, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The first bit of information I wanted to share is definitely exciting, and that is that more people are paying with cash!  According to certain retailers (these businesses do not sell luxury goods, just so you don’t think I’m speaking of $1,000 handbags or something), a significant number of their sales so far this year have been in cash, compared with last year, where there were more credit card sales.  This is a wonderful bit of information!  Now, it’s a small sample, and it’s in my local community, but hopefully it’s at least partially indicative of the way people are shopping this season.  I hope that it means more people have saved up for the holidays this year, and aren’t spending more than they make!

Another bit of information we ran across from a national retailer is that the sales are not going to be as good as they were last year (I know, bummed me out too)!  According to our source, last year, many of the typical stores you find in your local mall got caught with a ton of extra inventory and slashed prices to be able to move the inventory toward the end of the holiday season.  This was great for people, last year, but it also means that they learned their lesson, and this year, retailers won’t (or haven’t) have ordered as much inventory, so the deals that were there last year, won’t be there this year.  This is some really unfortunate information, but at least it will keep us focused on finding the best deals this season! 

All in all, I still think it is going to be a wonderful holiday season.  Just keep in mind that cash is the way to go.  Not only will it save you from being credit card poor in January and February (and March?), but it will keep you focused on getting the best possible price!   Look out for deals that aren’t deals.  Compare prices.  Use lay-a-way (making payments on an item that you will not be able to take home until the item is completely paid for) and just be sensible.  Remember how your parents and grandparents shopped for the holidays…they saved for it!

Celebrities look like they lead a very glamorous life.  They have fancy clothes, nice cars and a whole host of other very expensive possessions.  They look like personal trainers and never seem to age.     That is their reality.  It is not, however, reality for the majority of us.  Some of us think we should have (or try to have) the same things/lifestyle as celebrities, but in my opinion, that is not the case.  These celebrities make hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars every year, and can afford fancy cars, mansions and expensive purses.  They can afford personal trainers for hours a day, five days a week.  They can afford all the expensive creams and lotions that keep you looking youthful (or the more expensive counterpart, plastic surgery).  They are not limited by an average salary, like we are.

Even though we know they are celebrities, and know they make many times more money than we do, we haven’t been able to separate in our mind that they have access to a lot more monetary funds than we do.  So we buy things.  Generally, we buy these things on credit, because as I’ve already stated, we don’t have the cash to pay for it ourselves.  This is how, one day, people wake up and find themselves thousands of dollars in debt, and on the verge of bankruptcy.

How do you avoid falling into debt?  Well, as we’ve always stated, you need a budget, a plan and the determination to stay within the limits of the budget you created.  If you just spend less than you make, you won’t go into debt (don’t forget to budget for savings, so you pay yourself later).  Do not think it’s normal to buy $10,000 purses and $200 an ounce face cream if you make $60,000 a year.  If you want a special, expensive handbag, save up and pay cash for it.  If you purchased it on a credit card, it doesn’t have the same status as the one on your favorite celeb’s arm, because they paid cash (or debit equivalent etc.), and therefore, actually earned the status that the bag is supposed to convey.  Live within your means and be happy with what you have.

Your first option, of course, is to save up throughout the year (or what time you have remaining before the holidays).  It’s not that hard to amass a nice little sum to spend on your loved ones if you plan and budget.  Saving only $10 a week amounts up to $520 in a year…now, while that isn’t enough to buy everyone a new car, you can certainly do something nice with that amount.  Want to spend more?  Save more!  The trick is in deciding on what you usually spend and saving that amount throughout the year!  If you didn’t save up for it, and don’t have the disposable income, then you should look into other forms of gifts, because no one needs the stress of credit card debt, and the certainly don’t need to go into debt to buy presents for other people.  And, I’ll tell you a secret…your friends and family don’t want you to go into debt to buy them a present!

If the first option won’t work for you, you’re not out of luck, because you can always give the gift of your time or experience!  Granted, it’s not as glamorous as a new T.V., but giving the gift of your time is still special, ans still shows that you care enough (maybe more) to do something nice for your friends and relatives during the holidays.  Some good options?  Well, you could offer up babysitting services, cook dinner etc. for busy working parents.  That kind of stuff not your thing?  Well, figure out what you’re good at, or what your hobby is, and offer that service to your friends and family!  Let’s say you’re a masseuse…you could offer some of your friends and family a complimentary 30 minute massage as a gift!  No one would turn that down! You just need to be creative.

I’m sure I will revisit this topic as the holiday season draws near, because honestly, it irks my nerves that so many people cannot plan for the holiday season!  Whatever your financial situation is, it boils down to this: If you have the cash saved up or on hand, by all means, spend it on loved ones as you wish, but if you don’t have the cash, give the gift of your time or don’t buy gifts at all, since the last thing anyone needs is more credit card debt!

• Can You Plan Spontaneity - This is a recent post, but it’s a good one, and it’s one of our trademark tips for a successful lifestyle .  The post outlines how we have built spontaneity into our budget (which works quite well, I assure you), achieving both spontaneity (to have a little mystery about special outings, gifts etc.) and budget restraint (so you have so money to retire on one day).
• YOU are an emotional piggy bank -   This post has generated a lotof talk of the last few weeks.   You are an emotional piggy bank, taking in deposits and doling out payments from other people.  Just like a bank account or a piggy bank, you need to have more deposits coming in than payments going out for the system (i.e. you) to function.  People that drain too much from you, drain you, and you should spend time with them sparingly, if at all.  This, of course, is opposed to emotional boosts, who make lotsof deposits into your piggy bank.  You should spend as much time as possible around these special people.
• Never forget where you started… - This post is a reminder of why you got married or into a relationship with your spouse/significant other, and some tips on how to make it work better or keep it working wonderfully!
• Why your friends are costing you money, and what you can do to stop it! - This post is all about being friends with people who have a larger income than you and ways to avoid the pressure of spending too much money, or spending money that you don’t have when you hang out/spend time with them!
•   So, going to the gym is like budgeting my finances? - This post draws parallels between going to the gym and budgeting your finances.  Not only are there insights into better ways to budget your money, but there are also a few tips on going to the gym!  You can’t beat that!

So, those are the blog posts that we’d like for you to go back and take a second look at!  Hopefully, you will find some information that helps you along in your life, or reaffirms what you already have in practice!

“clips episode” of previous posts that are “must reads”

First let me say that you should keep in mind that this data reflects only one month, and that it could just be a fluke. I know that the unemployment rate has gone down slightly, and that demand for houses has gone up, but honestly, so what! Just because the economy might be showing signs of improvement does not mean you should forget the lessons you have learned over the last several months in ways to save money and spend less. One of the reasons that people have gotten into trouble with money over the years is that they spend all that they have, or more than they have and don’t save enough for their future when they retire, or, just as bad, save for when their income is lost/interrupted, so that they have no emergency fund.

Deep down, I’m hoping that spending rose because we are in “back to school” season, and parents were spending money on their little ones clothes, crayons and paper, but I just don’t know. Americans tend to have what I think of as collective ADD, where, as a nation, we can’t keep our “eye on the ball”. When something loses its luster or lasts too long, we tend to get bored, and I think that the recession has reached that point. I ask all of you to keep your focus, save your money and spend less.

The question posed to the authors centers around 3 sisters, whose parents are elderly and have lost most of their money in the stock market. Now the sisters are helping the parents, but don’t know how to divide up the bills, given their different economic situations.

The article points out one thing that Jerrill and I are passionate about: We believe that there is value in jobs where people aren’t paid, such as caring for elderly parents or stay-at-home moms etc. The authors are quick to point out that if one sister is caring for the elderly parents, her time has a value that must be included in the division of responsibilities, monetary or otherwise.

Once they’ve placed value on that time, then they should sit down and have a very frank discussion about each other’s situations and what they can afford, even if they don’t want to talk about it. I should be clear that we don’t believe you should have to pay more simply because you make more…that isn’t fair. If you make more and are contributing more money, then the other family members should be contributing in other ways, especially if they can’t contribute money because they’re a spendthrift…frankly, that’s no excuse.

So, check out the Q & A. It’s insightful, and highlights a problem that we believe will become more prevalent as more people realize how light their retirement accounts have become!

So today, I decided to make a point of telling you that working together is not only for times of crisis, but for every day, in every action. This will prepare you better for those times when the unexpected occurs. When you need to decide who is picking up the kids, there should be no drama. You both are responsible for them, so if one of you can’t do it, the other should, not because you have to, but because you want to help out, and work together. If you are trying to work on your household budget, and there isn’t enough money to go around, you shouldn’t refuse to give up your $6 a day coffee habit, or your mani/pedi’s, while your partner gives up every indulgence they have. You want to succeed together, you might have to make some sacrifices. These (and countless others) are every day occurrences where you can build up the skills that you can use in a crisis.

One crisis, for example, that a lot of people are going through right now is a job loss. If you or your partner have lost a job, you definitely quailify as being in a crisis! Now, are you working together? Are you sitting down together, deciding which activities can be cut out of your lives? Are you deciding which items in you budget can be scaled back or removed all together, until you are back on your feet? Or, are you blaming the partner who lost their job, feeling resentful of the burden they placed on you? If you are the latter, then this is your wake-up call! They did not lose their job because they wanted to, I assure you! Get rid of the negative feelings and decide that you are a team, and do whatever it takes TOGETHER to get through the tough times!

There are, of course, those people who get paid enough at their jobs that they don’t have to work with their spouse because they can pay for/hire out whatever they need. But keep in mind, if they stopped, and took the time from their busy life to notice, they would see just how unhappy life is, when you live with someone with whom you don’t communicate, work with or respect.

a lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world — or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children.

This article is all about the importance of a strong marriage and how important it is for the children to have 2 parents in the home. It is chock full of information. It states that children of divorced, middle-class parents do less well in school and at college compared with underprivileged kids from two-parent households. This absolutely floored me. However, it does seem to fit with and support our viewpoints on family.

As the article points out, most of us do want the “fairytale” marriage, as in, married for 25 years and still deeply in love. I don’t know anyone who has gotten married and didn’t want that. We simply have to work at it. I don’t let a day go by that I don’t make sure I am doing the things that I know will be a benefit to Jerrill, or at least, make him very very happy. I focus on his happiness, and our happiness, and that ensures that I don’t take him for granted.

So, go check out the article! I really hope you enjoy it as much as we did! It’s a long read, but well worth it.

All too often, when I am out somewhere, watching the T.V. or listening to the radio etc. I here people talking about how “so and so” got lucky and their company started making a ton of money, or they got a promotion, or paid off their house etc.
Really?? Did they get “lucky”, or is it more likely that they worked their butt off and “earned” that promotion, or saved up to pay off their house, or worked really hard and put blood, sweat and tears into building a good business? But when
someone loses their job, it’s the companies fault. When someone loses their house, it’s the banks fault. NO, it’s not! Why is it that we are “lucky” when we do something good, and “someone else is responsible” when we screw up??

The fact of the matter is, that we are all responsible for our own lives. The Declaration of Independence gives us all the freedom to succeed or fail based on our own merits, but when someone else succeeds where we fail, we don’t like it,
so we say they are lucky, and when someone screws up, everyone (including them) blames it on someone else because we all feel bad about the situation. What we need to do is understand that if we want to succeed, we have to work hard to get
there, and we shouldn’t take away someone else’s acheivement by saying they are lucky. If we fail, we need to work hard not to do it again, and not blame everyone BUT ourselves if it happens.

Happy Independence Day everyone. Make sure that this year you give people praise for their accomplishments, accept praise for your accomplishments, don’t blame anyone else for your screw ups and don’t let other people blame someone
else when they tell you their “bad luck” story. This Saturday, celebrate the fact that you have the right to succeed as much, or as little, as you want to!

A good lawyer is a necessity for those people who want to be resposible with their lives and money. At the bare minimum, you should have a will drawn up by a lawyer. Yes, I know that it is cheaper to go to one of the websites out there that offer the forms to be filled out for a fee (usually less than the fee the lawyer charges), however, the form can’t tell you important things about the law that a lawyer either knows off the top of his/her head, or knows the best place to research the answer. Here’s an example: In Kentucky (your favorite southern couples state of residence), if you are married with children, and have no will, when you die, your assets (that do not have beneficiaries identified) are divided up amongst your spouse and either your children or your parents! I would’ve thought it would all go to my spouse, and I would’ve been wrong. Thanks to my lawyer, I now know better.

Most people wait too long to go to a lawyer, and for my part, I don’t know why. When you are sick, you don’t wait too long (think pneumonia or death) to go to a doctor! If your car starts smoking, you don’t wait to take it to an auto mechanic! So, why do people wait until they are in a mess to see a lawyer? I honestly do not know. They shouldn’t, because seeing a lawyer when the problem is minor costs a whole lot less then seeing a lawyer when the problem is huge! Lawyers are there to help you. They are experts on the law, the way a doctor is an expert on your health. If you need legal advice, don’t Google the problem…look for a lawyer! Some words of advice: You should research or ask around (friends or neighbors) about a lawyer you are thinking about hiring. Make sure that their work ethic and personality line up with yours. You should be able to feel comfortable with your lawyer. If you aren’t comfortable with your lawyer, you won’t be as likely to ask for their help, or tell them the whole story, which means they might not fully be able to help you.

Today we are featuring a local lawyer who has just opened his own practice in the Frankfort Kentucky area. Doug Howard is an attorney licensed to practice law in Kentucky, Indiana, and Ohio. He is originally from Frankfort, Kentucky where he currently resides with his wife and children. He graduated from the University of Notre Dame with a B.A. in History and earned his law degree from the Catholic University of America in Washington D.C. Doug’s approach to his law practice is refreshing. I believe he cares about doing the right thing, teaching his clients about the law as he goes, and the best part is that he doesn’t speak in legalese! If you would like to get in touch with Doug Howard, please check out our “links” page to send him an email!

Most of us at some point in our lives have been in the position of being friends with someone who either has more money than us or at least spends like they have more money than us (this is bad, of course, cause they are spending money they don’t have). They are constantly wanting to go out to new places. Ladies want to go shopping at expensive boutiques, get massages or mani/pedis etc. Men want to go play golf at expensive courses, watch football, basketball or baseball games in person. Unfortunately, they don’t realize what kind of effect this has on their friends who make less money or don’t want to spend a lot of money. They are costing YOU money! You agree to go out, and then they pick a very expensive restaurant, where you end up spending $75 on 2 glasses of wine and a salad. Now, as much as you value their friendship, and as much as you love spending time with them, you dread their phonecall/text because of the impending monetary dilemma.

So, how do you stop them from costing you more money in the future? Well, this is not a popular way to do it, but doing things the right way is rarely popular…tell them you’re broke! Tell them you don’t have the money to go out. You might feel uncomfortable doing this, but when your checking account starts to recover, I have a feeling that you’ll be happy! I know that it feels weird to say something like that. To be honest, the first couple of times we said it when we were getting out of debt I was wholly embarrassed. But then, I started to notice how people stopped expecting me to go along with their expensive plans, and started to ask what I wanted to do. This gave me the option of saying “yes” to going out, but “no” to the expensive stuff!

Saying “I’m broke” not your thing? Well, luckily, “we can’t afford it right now”, “money is tight right now” and “we’re trying to save more money these days, can we choose a less expensive to do?” all have the same effect. They all tell your over-spending friend to back off on the luxury when you hang out together. If you just say “no”, that opens the door for them to pressure you on the subject, where you might cave in. Telling them that you don’t have the money usually makes the friend conclude that further discussion is out of the question.

Hopefully, this will set you on the right track with your friends. It’s all about personal responsibility. Remember, it is grown up to take control of your finances and childish to let others decide what you spend your money on!

You have to focus on creating and meeting goals and expectations for your life to truly get ahead. You have to decide where it is that you want to take your life, what you want and the type of person you want to be while you are doing it and meet THOSE expectations.

So, you set your goals…and now you want to work toward them…how do you do it?? Self discipline. Sticktoitivness. You need to identify what pitfalls you have in your behavior that cause you to fail. For example, if you always spend too much money on things you don’t need (do you really need Starbuck’s coffee or Jimmy Choo shoes?? Or both??), but your goal is to try and put more money in your 401k, well then, the choice is simple. It might be the hard choice, but it is still simple…dump the coffee and get some sneakers or at least a cheaper designer, because your feet will survive very well in Nine West, and your bank account will thank you.

Decide what you want, then tell yourself that if you want that, you have to give up something else. That’s how it works. You want more of one thing, you have to cut back on something else. Want more time with the kids, then work has to stop at the door. After all, what pray tell, did you do before your Black(crack)berry. You want to start your own business?? Then you have to stick to it and persevere. You can’t come home early and you can’t be off all the time. I knew a man who opened a franchise food location, and had it fail within a few months. Why? Because he was rarely there. You can’t be absent in the beginning. You have to be there! He needed to get rid of one of his managers, and 1-2 employees from the store and bust his butt all day long, till the business was throwing off enough profit to EASILY hire someone. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and now I am sure he is suffering for it.

Your expectations and goals for yourself, or you and your spouse if you are married, are all that is important. Help each other achieve more. Make suggestions to each other (or yourself) of ways to accomplish the goals, and be accepting of the suggestions made to you. Decide that you will follow through. Make an effort. Remember that you do not DESERVE whatever it is that you want, unless you earned it. Just existing is not enough to deserve money, fame or whatever it is you think you should have. And BTW, making it through a rough day at work does not entitle you to a mani/pedi, massage, or anything like that. It might entitle you to an evening of rest, and putting off the laundry a day, but not much else. And yes, you still have to do the laundry the next day.

It’s not easy to put together a plan for success and execute it over long periods of time, measuring your progress every step of the way. And when you run into the inevitable roadblocks, if you’re single, find a friend you can trust to just be there. If you’re married, just love each other and be there for each other (sounds like a no brainer, I know). Don’t trust that other people have your best interests in mind.

Ours is an impatient, microwave, fast food, drive-through, instant access, immediate gratification, instant credit, fast cash, overnight shipping, accelerated degree program, CliffsNotes world. Self discipline is hard to come by nowadays. Those who manage to find it are automatically ahead of the game in becoming successful. Everyone else is perfectly average.