I myself am currently named as an Executrix of an estate, although I hope not to have to be saddled with the job for many, many years, and, after I got to reading the little article on CNN Money, I began to wonder what the  basics of executing a will were, and whether or not I knew any of them.  I mean, I have no doubt that I can and will carry it out to the best of my ability, but I am no expert, and therefore, would like to have some tips on the process and legal issues that might arise.  The article I found surpassed my expectations.  From contacting the funeral home to contacting a lawyer (if necessary), this checklist has a little bit for everyone.  An important question raised is how to pay for the funeral if it has not been paid in advance.  Life insurance “isn’t paid in a week” as it says, and therefore the author recommends that the owner of the estate have money set aside for these expenses if they don’t pay for them ahead of time!  What a great suggestion!

This article not only has tips for the executor of the will, but also, at the bottom of the checklist it has some tips for the person with the estate.  This is fantastic, if you ask me, because more often than not, the issues that arise from a will (other than people being petty over material mementos) are because the deceased person doesn’t have their affairs “completely” in order.  For those of you with a will, I would double check this list to be sure you haven’t missed something.  The best tip (in my humble opinion) was to have a specific folder, binder etc. that is stored in a place that the executor and another family member know of that has ALL of your important information in it, from wills to passports to divorce decrees…and not copies either!  They need to be the originals!

I suggest to all of our readers to check out the article.  This just seems like information that could be useful for most of us in the future, especially if you follow our suggestions and get yourself our of debt and start building wealth.  You could have a “nice chunk of change” to leave to your family, and you don’t want them to get a headache from your gift!  Happy reading!

I have always been opposed to the excessive use of tech, especially when you are supposed to be focused on your family.  The fact is, there are times when it’s OK to tech binge, and there are times when it’s not.  Children should not have these tech things that can distract them from their family, and the parents shouldn’t set a bad example by using their gadgets all the time either.  There have been numerous studies that prove that multi-tasking is only possible for 3% of the population without the loss of quality.  With that fact in mind, what do you think happens to the quality of family time when each member of the family has a gadget in their hands and in their face?  Obviously, the quality goes down!

Am I saying that people shouldn’t ever use the tech they have?  No, of course not.  But when “family time” is really family time, it’s probably a good idea to put the tech away for the duration.  For example, when we go on vacation, we heavily limit our use of our tech.  We take our laptop with us to be able to stream music or play it from our music library while we are hanging out at the condo/hotel room.  We take our camera for pictures and the OCCASIONAL video (I’m not a big video fan since I sound every bit the hillbilly that I am ).  We take the GPS to get us there safely, and our cell phones in case of emergency.  We DO NOT use the cell phones while on vacation, with the exception of the phone call made to family informing them of our safe arrival.  We limit the tech because while on vacation, there are PLENTY of other things to do and we should focus on each other, not the world around us.

Think about your household (or, like our example, your vacation).  Do you spend too much time in front of the computer?  Your gaming system?  Your smart phone?  Does your significant other have to ask you the same question 4 times before you hear them?  Have you been caught up in something on the Internet andnot heard your child call to you, or, like the article, have you forgot to pick your child up from school (etc.) because you were too engrossed in something online?  If you struggle to find the time for your family because of your gadgets, I would suggest limiting your time on them, and limiting how much your children see you on them.  If they see you do it, they will also do it, and teaching a child how to ignore their future family isn’t exactly a great life lesson.

So, I did a little math, and if these people, who don’t make above the poverty line, invested that 9% of their $13,000 a year, which works out to $97.50 a month, over 50 years with a 9% return over that time (reasonable rate of return), they would have a little over $1 million dollars at the end!  Yes, you read that right!  $1 MILLION dollars at the end!  That means that there is a good chance for ANYof those people earning $13,000 a year to have a million dollars when they retire, if they are disciplined enough to invest what they spend on a chance at instant gratification! 

And that’s the difference, isn’t it?  Most of us DO NOT win the lottery.  We know that it only parts fools from their money.  What truly helps people build wealth is discipline with their money and the ability to wait for the payoff over time.  Problem is, I don’t know if a poor person would believe me if I told them that they could have $1 million dollars when they retire.  However, given the study and the little bit of math above, we hope you decide that the lottery is a waste of money and perhaps saving to become a millionaire isn’t as hard as you once thought it was!

Let’s talk about being a teacher.  It’s a truly stressful job.  They have 100 students (at least) every day that need to be educated with not only the subject that the teacher is charged with teaching but also the life lessons that some of our more lackadaisical parents “don’t bother to” or “forget to” teach their children at home (FYI…it is NOT the job of a school teacher to teach your children the good morals and values of our society…that is in YOUR jurisdiction!).  Needless to say, it’s a little overwhelming.  What’s more, the money system set up around the education system (at least the parts I know about, as I am not an expert) is ludicrous.  For example, the school system allots each teacher a certain number of copies that they are allowed to make per year on the copy machine, and if they want to make more, they have to pay for them!  That puts added and undue pressure on the teacher, because let’s face it, toner and copy paper are cheap.

 However, silly as it is, it is the workplace version of “living within your means”.  But not all teachers do.  They will either spend money out of their own pocket to buy supplies, or send home a list of supplies that the parent MUST provide for all of the various projects the teacher wants to do.  All I have to say is, my oh my, what a mess!  Teachers are given a budget.  They should have to work within that budget (and yes, I am absolutely certain that their budget is too low and doesn’t help much, but it is what it is).  By buying supplies out of their own pocket, they are saying that the budget is meaningless, and that sets the wrong example for the students.  I love the generous nature, but they shouldn’t take the burden on themselves and set a bad example for the children.  And if they decide to pass the cost onto the parent?  Well, the parents at home have their own budgets and money problems to worry about, and the decision to have all of these wonderful projects impacts them too!

So, what is a teacher to do since they’re being squeezed on both sides?  Get creative!  If they figure out less costly projects and methods for teaching the same lesson, they will be able to stay within the budget the school set for them without passing the cost on to the parents!  I know that the replacement projects won’t be as full of bells and whistles, but the object of the lesson is to teach something, and that usually doesn’t require fancy projects.  Also, as long as the teacher has a computer with an Internet connection, she can show the students whatever she wants to show them!  For example…let’s say the teacher originally wanted to have the students build volcanoes for science class.  All she has to do is have them read the chapter, discuss it in class, then show the students this on the projector.  It’s not AS cool, but it works and it’s pretty much free!

I’m not trying to pick on teachers, just so you know.  I just wanted to give an example of how we have a mental disconnect between living within our means at home and at work.  We shouldn’t be frugal at home and a spendthrift at work.  Apply the same principles at both places, and get creative on your savings!

• With regard to your career, the author suggests that you heed your enemies.  The logic behind this advice is that the people you have trouble with are generally those people that have the greatest insight into you and your attitudes and faults.  What these people have to say will help you improve as a worker/entrepreneur…if you only take the time to listen.
• With regard to the stock market, buy and hold your funds.  The author and I agree on this…people think that they can beat the stock market, but in reality, almost no one can (and you are probably not the exception).  If you buy funds and then keep them over the long run, you’re more likely to make money, at the very least thanks in part to the ability to avoid taxes and other fees.
• Don’t be a fool with regard to your love life.   When lovers quarrel, each has the blame around 50% of the time.  Understanding this fact will help you build the kind of relationship that isn’t as susceptible to a divorce.  And as all of us know, either from personal experience or the experience of a friend or loved one, divorce sucks.  We don’t want it and should avoid it at all costs (both financially and emotionally). 

That’s it.  3 very simple little lessons that might save you a lot of headache or heartache as your graduate enters the post high school, trade school or college life that they have worked so hard to achieve.

When a person agrees to a 90 days same as cash gimmick, they are saying that they will pay the full amount (and not a penny less) within the 90 days allotted.  How many of these people actually do that?  Well, according to Dave Ramsey’s website (and a few others), only 12% of people who do 90 days same as cash financing actually pay it off within that time frame!!  Hello!  9 out of 10 people don’t do what they say they’ll do!  This means that you shouldn’t even think about doing this!  But you say, “Oh Emily, I will be the one that pays it off in time”.  Oh really?  Well, if you can make such a guarantee, then you should just pay cash in full in the first place! 

IF, however, you decide that you want to fall for the gimmick, and you don’t pay it off on time, the company will backdate the interest on your purchases to the 1st date of purchase.  And how much interest will you be charged from day one?  Probably around 24%!  So, you went from no interest to 24% over the entire length of time you have the loan (it is a loan, even if you didn’t realize it).  What a ripoff!

What you should know as a consumer is that there is NO financing option offered by any business that is a “good deal” for you!  They will always find a way to part you from your money.  Do the smart thing and just say no to their gimmicks!

The first steps they should take toward getting their finances in order should be to find a person to whom they can be accountable.  This can be a parent, a best friend or even the pastor at their church.  It doesn’t matter who they choose, it merely has to be someone that they can trust with their private information that also has good financial sense (this doesn’t mean the person with the flashiest car or house, because those people are usually in debt themselves).  After finding someone to help keep them on “the straight and narrow path”, they need to sit down and write out their budget.  Don’t know where to begin?  Well, for now I’ll suggest this form to help you singles get started (be on the lookout for a better form from us in the future).  The important thing, no matter if you’re single or in a relationship, is that you’re on a plan and working toward a goal (hopefully to be debt free and saving for retirement). 

We always encourage our readers to leave comments with questions they might have and today is no exception.  Single or married, feel free to ask us what steps to follow up with, or any other questions you might have! 

I want my readers to understand that I don’t say this lightly, but I feel that the Baby Boomer generation made choices that, while right for them at the time, have shaped the attitudes of us Gen Xers and Gen Yers to rebel against the way our parents taught us. 

What am I referring to?  What choices did they make?  Given the innovation of the times, and the changes in attitude toward working women, the Baby Boomers were able to send both parents to work, which resulted in a higher income, but took parents away from their children.  This meant that they weren’t there all the time to ensure their children were learning all the life lessons they should, and given that they had VCRs, game consoles and personal computers to contend with, this might not have been best for every family.

Instead of learning to eat healthy and get plenty of physical activity, some of us only learned what TV dinners were and were allowed to sit and play game consoles instead of physical games outdoors.  Instead of learning to save money and pay for what we wanted with cash, we watched as our parents (and other influential adults in our lives) charged what they wanted, to be paid for over time at a later date. 

Watching this happen, most of us started off as adults who charged everything and ate whatever we wanted without caring about exercise or health.  How did this affect us?  Did we sit back and let it happen to us, teaching the same to our children?  For many of us, we did not.  We decided to take better care of ourselves and our finances.  We decided that dinner should be made from  healthy ingredients, instead of being microwaved in a box.  We decided (or were forced to realize through too much debt) that financing everything we want isn’t a smart financial decision in the long run…that living paycheck to paycheck just to “have it all” right now isn’t really living.  We decided that family time IS more important than 70 hour work weeks just to make a few extra bucks. 

Does this make our parents terrible parents?  Of course not!  We are who we are because of them!  Different parenting styles make the world go round.  It just means that some of us have to dig ourselves out of a hole, be that weight gain/health issues or debt.  Either way, we’re teaching ourselves the lessons we missed, and now just have to remember that for our own children!

Why does it cause you so much trouble?  Well, because when you’re intolerant of something, you’re the one experiencing the turmoil, not generally the person of whom you are intolerant.  So even though they might be the one acting like the idiot, you are the one irritated and fuming.  That doesn’t exactly help your mental well being (or your blood pressure)! 

It’s a personal growth experience when you learn to tolerate someone or something.  The drama that occurs during that “experience” is something that I’m sure most of us would rather avoid (as pointed out above), but instead, we need to learn from it and create a working/lasting relationship with the person(s) in question. 

How can you give yourself a better opportunity to be a tolerant adult?  Well, honestly, I’m still learning myself, but my advice from what I’ve learned so far would be to learn tolerance as early in your life as you can!  Learn to accept that people are different, we do things differently, and if someone does something that irritates you, try to be understanding of them and their point of view.  Don’t let them get to you! 

A quick note:  Before you read this and quickly move on, saying to yourself that you are tolerant and this doesn’t apply to you, I really want you to stop and think about how you handle those types of situations…we all have room for improvement!

Instant gratification is having a lack of impulse control, and, conversely, delayed gratification  is having the ability to wait for something you want (i.e. willpower or impulse control).  In our society we tend to think of children as having no impulse control, and learning this ability as they get older and become an adult.  Well, what happens when the child isn’t taught impulse control, and grows up with the same attitudes they had as a child?  We think that these children grow up to be the people who struggle with any vices that require willpower/impulse control, such as spending money and overeating etc.  These people still have the “I want it now” attitude, and whatever “it” is, they don’t deny themselves the treat, because they “deserve” it.  Can you imagine what the little girl with the spa package at age 5 will act like as an adult if she  doesn’t learn to have self control (which is not likely to be learned from her mother, I’m sorry to say)?  So, what’s the good news?  If you struggle with impulse control, you can learn it as an adult.  You just have to take each instance where you need willpower and ask yourself why you need the item now, and if it’s worth it.  It’s not easy.  You will fail on occasion.  But every time you don’t fail, that’s one step closer to mastering the skill!

Delayed gratification is one of the biggest tricks up the sleeves of people who succeed.  They know how to wait for what they want.  Knowing this, as a parent, make sure you teach your child how to have willpower, and as an adult (who lacks willpower), decide that you aren’t going to fall victim to your childhood whims of instant gratification and help yourself succeed!

And let’s not forget the nasty divorce between Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger.  That situation was all over the entertainment magazines and shows when it was top news, and most of us remember the not so distant and very public fight he had with his 11 year old daughter, in which he called her a pig.  I don’t think he’s the best choice for helping a couple work things out.

To be fair, I think that this show will be hilarious, but only because the advice offered from the celebrities will be, to put it politely, “sub par”.  I worry that people watching it will give them credit as being an “expert” on fixing relationships, simply because they’re a celebrity.  We have a tendency to give people more credit than they’re due in our society if they’re on TV, which is ridiculous.  Just because someone is on TV does NOT make them an expert, and I hope our readers never forget it!

Like furniture rental places, you can apparently also rent the rims you’ve been dying to have for your car as well, that way, you can look cool, and rich, even if you’re broke.  Dan Miller has a knack for talking about topics that are important to me, and there are few things that get my blood boiling more than people who spend themselves into debt chasing status.  He highlights the new book from Thomas Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door and The Millionaire Mind, both of which are excellent books (I will be buying and reading this newest addition to his works).  This new book highlights some of the habits of the truly rich (as opposed to those who only appear rich), which, in general, does not include renting your rims. 

Read the post, and go buy (or check out from your local library) Thomas Stanley’s newest book, Stop Acting Rich.  Let’s all begin to be open minded to the idea that having fancy things (for status) and spending obscene amounts of money on weddings and “McMansions” are not the real way for the average person to become wealthy.  Once you stop believing you are going to simply luck into a fortune, or become famous and rich out of the blue, you can focus on becoming rich the way most people do…through saving, working hard, and striving to be the best at their passion so they can advance themselves in that particular field over the years.

What do I do with my fashion knowledge??  I use it to shop for bargains at retail stores that aren’t going to break the bank.  Some people, however, think that they have to have what’s in the magazine, and what the stars are wearing, and they blow through their credit card limits barely noticing as they chase the current trends.  These poor people would rather be in debt than off trend or insignificant.  They chase celebrity status and think they are entitled to the best things in life.  I feel very bad for these people, because they don’t understand the damage that they’re doing to their lives, all in the pursuit of fame and appearances.  Do a google search for how to become famous, get 80 million results…search for how many people become famous, and get no relevant or accurate results.  For many people, this is an obsession, and it will cause them a lot of heartache throughout the years if they don’t change.

So, what are a couple of ways to turn the negatives of obsessing over fame and status into a positive?  Well, deciding to become the best at what you do, even if it means you’re not famous or on TV, is a good start.  That way, you’re pouring your energy and ambition into something that is likely to help you secure a decent lifestyle and a comfortable retirement in the future, and you’re not distracted by what is not likely to happen.  Also, challenge yourself to either save everything you were spending on those expensive lifestyle goods, or challenge yourself to find the absolute best price on them.  You’d be surprised at how much money you can save, if you just stop paying attention to the designer label!  

Remember, being an adult isn’t about age…it’s about character, attitude and actions…don’t let your actions reveal you to be a child, only out to get attention and the latest, coolest toys.

Small Business Tips, By Douglas C. Howard

A Message to Employees

As a small business owner, one of the hardest aspects of running a business is finding the time to do it yourself, or be willing to delegate the task to someone else.  The first course of action provides the benefit of knowing that the task was done specifically how you, the owner, wanted it done, in a timely fashion, and you do not have anyone to blame for failure except yourself.  Delegation, of course, means that you may benefit from someone else’s expertise, frees you for other important tasks, and allows your employees the chance to prove themselves.

Of course, the pitfalls for the first course of action, are that you do not have enough time to do everything, you must find some way to balance running your business with your life, and you may not be the best person to handle that specific task.  The downside to delegation is that you have to trust someone to take care of the task, they may not do it exactly how you would have or would have wanted it done, and they may not do it in a timely fashion.

“A Message to Garcia” is a short essay by Elbert Hubbard written in 1899.  No doubt many of you have already read and studied its message, being that of a short work.  But its message is still relevant today, more so than ever.  I recently ran across it and thought a brief summary of the work would be great as “A Message to Employees”.

“A Message to Garcia” is set during the conflict between Spain and the United States and takes place in Cuba.  Of course at that time, communication had to take place in person or via courier, if telegraph were unavailable.  The essay centers on an Army Lieutenant by the name of Andrew Rowan.  General Garcia was the commanding officer of insurgents located in Cuba.  He was located somewhere in the mountainous region of Cuba and would be difficult to find and communicate with.  A message had to be gotten to him so that his forces could be mustered.  How was a message to be gotten to Garcia?  President William McKinley and other commanding generals were unsure, until Lt. Rowan was suggested, stating that he was the person for the job, “if anyone can.” 

Rowan was summoned, given the message, told the general location of Garcia, and was sent off on his way.  He was not told how to do the job, or how to find Garcia, nor did he ask.  He was simply delivered to Cuba on one side of the island, and three weeks later picked up on the other side of the island, having completed his task.

So I ask employees, “Are you the Rowan of your company?” 

If you strive to be the Rowan of the company you work for, here are some general tips.

First, be available for assignments, any assignment, without hesitation.  The owner of the company or your direct supervisor may not want to ask you do something that may seem so menial, but if it is a project that they can get off of the “to-do” list, it may help them immensely.  If you are adaptable to whatever task is at hand, you will become indispensable to your company.

Second, be reliable.  If your boss asks you to get something done in a timely manner, have it done by that deadline.  Often other deadlines must be met down the line, so do not be the weak link.

Third, ask for guidance on the task, but figure out how to get it done on your own.  This is a fine line to walk, but the more you can do on your own, the more burden you relieve from your superior.  The more burden you relieve, the more grateful your superior will be.

Fourth, take action.  So often people get bogged down in the details that they become apoplectic and unable to even start a project.  Often times procrastination prevents even the first step from being taken, which is most often the hardest step to take.  As I write this, I have had to stave off turning on the television, checking my email, researching other issues not relevant to this article at hand, getting up to grab lunch, and a hundred other minuscule thoughts that crossed my mind to prevent me from writing this article.

Fifth, be diligent.  After taking the first step, be diligent in taking the next several steps.  Eventually you will come out on the other side.  See the preceding paragraph for an explanation.  Whether it takes an hour or three weeks, staying on task, will eventually get it done.  And it will show your employer that you do not need constant hand-holding or someone looking over your shoulder to make sure that you are getting your work done.

I hope this is helpful.  Since “A Message to Garcia” is short, it is well worth the read.  It is considered public domain and a copy of the complete text can be found at HowardLawGroup.com on the “Small Biz Tips” page.

Douglas C. Howard is an attorney based in Frankfort, Kentucky that assists small businesses with their legal needs and has taught “Entrepreneurship 101″ for the Thornhill Community Education Center and posts tweets and other updates on Twitter under his Twitter name, LegalPreneur.

From Wikipedia:  Elbert Hubbard was an author and philosophers who edited and published two magazines, The Philistine and The Fra. The Philistine was bound in brown butcher paper and full of satire and whimsy. (Hubbard himself quipped that the cover was butcher paper because “There is meat inside.”)  Owing to his prolific publications, Hubbard was a renowned figure in his day.

The government is looking into extending benefits in the unemployment program for the 5th (that’s right, I said 5th) time since the recession started, just a couple of years ago!  Normally, the benefits are doled out to the unemployed over 26 weeks (aka 6 months), with the option to get a 13 week extension.  Basically, this means that you can draw unemployment for 9 months before you have to go back to work, and a lot of people do just that!  They collect full benefits before even really trying to get a job!  Why, you ask?  Well, I assume for some it’s because they think it’s “free money”, but, as we all know, that’s never the case for anything.  Somebody always pays, be it the company, the taxpayers, the government (which takes its money from the taxpayers) or the consumer (who is almost always ALSO a taxpayer).  Under the new proposed benefits, the pay outs can run as long as 99 weeks…almost 2 YEARS!

The funny thing is that some studies sited in the post indicate that people are most likely to find a job when the unemployment runs out, no matter if that length of time is 2, 26 or 99 weeks.    People seem to think that because they are drawing unemployment, they economy must really be in the toilet for everyone, and so they don’t try.  However, when there is no more unemployment, they “magically” find work.  Amazing!

There are many examples of these programs being run the wrong way and abused by some of the participants.  I’m not going to get into that, because I have a feeling many of you wouldn’t want to read a post that long.  If I’m wrong, say so in the comment section, and I’d be happy to oblige!

Dan Miller draws an interesting observation, drawing a parallel between the way bears hunt and the way we as humans acquire a job.  Bears hunt more efficiently when they aren’t given food from humans…you know, when they have to hunt.  We are the same way with money and jobs.  When there isn’t somebody giving them to us, we get creative and figure out a way to do it.  Be that start our own company, go to work for someone else or sell some stuff, we will make it work.  Can’t find work in your area?  Perhaps you should move.  Think outside the box people!

There are very few people out there who can make intuitive leaps of greater understanding out of scarce information.   You know, the people who excel in an area in spite of all surroundings and obstacles.  These are the “genius janitors” out there, solving quantum physics equations on their lunch breaks.   They are the jungle explorers who can successfully navigate to the other side, safe from animals and disease. These are the people that make/invent the things that push civilization forward.  People like Leonardo da Vinci and Nicola Tesla.  For the rest of us mere mortals, gleaning a deep understanding of something takes work and time.   Time we don’t generally have.  Another problem?  Many of us have too much pride to ask those individuals that already have the knowledge we need to share it with us.   It’s hard for us to make progress as individuals, much less move forward and take a bunch of people with us. You know who you are!   You are the man that refuses to ask for directions and gets lost, because navigating from point A to point B seemed like such an easy task at the beginning of the road trip (Thank goodness for GPS!).  You are the person out there quietly struggling to pay the bills and building up a savings account because you were never taught how in school and never sought out the advice of someone who has it all figured out.   You know how your favorite southern couple feels about that!  Swallow that pride!  Find somebody who is “smarter” than you and ask them to share their knowledge.   Odds are, they will happily do so, and you won’t have to reinvent the wheel.   Find someone who is already doing what you want to do yourself, be it find that boutique or thrift store across town, balance that budget, or solve that physics equation! 

You don’t have to go through life without help.  Nobody does.  There are scads of things out there to help you along, some are free and some aren’t, but they are all there for you.  But you have to take the first step.  You have to ask for help, before it is given to you!

Now, one might think that this is a good plan, since the article sights some very compelling statistics, including the following:

• 58 million people are overweight, 40 million are obese, and 3 million are morbidly obese
• Eight out of 10 are over 25 lbs. overweight
• 78% of Americans are not meeting basic activity level recommendations
• 25% are completely sedentary
• 76% increase in Type II diabetes in adults 30-40 years old since 1990

What does this mean to us?  It means that, yes, we are getting fatter.  A lot fatter.  We are coming up with new products like body shapers to hide our fat rolls, and some sort of tape to make our arms look thinner!  Don’t believe me?  Check this out!  And I don’t think anybody remembers the word “muffin top” ever being used until we started wearing pants that sat low enough on our hips to “show off” our fat rolls.  By the way, if you have a muffin top, by a bigger size and a belt! 

So we’re getting fatter!  I hate it!  I love to exercise, and I try to watch what I eat…but I’m not a health nut.  I have junk food on occasion!  I am not model thin, and don’t expect that I ever will be, since my goal is strength and not a 22 inch waistline.  However, I keep my weight within a normal weight range and an average Body Fat Percentage.  I worry about the people I see and know that don’t get any exercise, and don’t watch what they eat at all.  I worry for their lives!  I don’t, however, think that taxing the people to the poor house is the way to go about fixing it!  We’re nuts if we think these people don’t know that this food/soda is bad for them.  They know it!  Punishing them (i.e. taxing them) for their “bad behaviour” is not a RIGHT that I want to give our government, thank you very much.  The next thing you know, the government will be punishing us for all of our bad behaviours, like watching too much TV, not flossing and not recycling ALL of our trash!  It’s not up to them to legislate our behaviour. 

The article takes a much more positive approach to this tax then I would.  Yes, it breaks my heart to see children and teenagers that are not active at all.  12 year old girls that have to shop in the “women’s plus” size section at a store because the cool, stylish clothes for their age don’t fit them.  I want these people to get healthy as much as the next person, but it has to start at home.  They have to decide for themselves that they are dissatisfied with how they look and how they feel.  And then, they have to be mad enough at themselves to do something about it! 

The article says that the taxes raised could be used for education and health programs.  Yeah, it could, but it won’t be.  Have we all forgotten the promise of lottery money being used for education (read this)?  Think about it rationally, without emotion…you know as well as I do that they won’t use the money for what they say they will, or if they do, it will be like 1% of the revenue.   Taxing these people won’t fix the problem, and I don’t want the government legislating what I do or don’t eat.

I hate to see people suffer, and those people that have lost their jobs are in my prayers.  However, the falling home prices are only an immediate concern if you are trying to sell your house and/or have lost your job.  If you have a stable income and are contented in your home, staying there for a few years (decade, maybe?) isn’t a big deal, so neither is the drop in value.  Debt, is, as always, a major concern for us.  If you are employed, you should be making a budget, sticking to it, funding your emergency fund and getting out of debt.  If you are unemployed, then you are in an income crisis, and that should be your main concern…along with food, shelter (that doesn’t mean a “McMansion”) and basic utilities (i.e. lights, water and heat).  You can’t focus on paying people back what you owe until you get stability back in your life, so put them on hold, even if it takes a few months. 

I would like to make a point for our readers though: with roughly 10% unemployment, that means that 10 people out of 100 are out of work, which is the same as saying 90 people of 100 are employed…it’s terrible for those 10 people, but overall, it’s not a catastrophe.  And those 90 out of 100?  They are shopping!  Maybe less often than before, and they might be spending less than before, but they are shopping…at least, that’s the way it looks EVERY time I drive past/go to the mall.  The place is packed!  As usual, I can’t find parking there, and the Christmas season was just as bad as usual.  Now, like I said, I know this isn’t the case everywhere, but the media’s version that everyone everywhere is suffering terribly, in houses they can’t afford, without jobs and piling up debt.  This isn’t true either.  The truth, as usual, is probably somewhere in the middle.  Some are suffering, some aren’t.  If you are suffering, I wish you luck and speed in your job searches and in getting out of debt, and if your job and home life are stable and “secure”, work hard to keep it that way, and help those who need it, either with prayer, food donations or job contacts (etc.).

As I said above, we also go over our budget reports to understand what is being under-funded and what is being over-funded.  We look at EVERY budget item.  Last night, we had to increase the money funding our medical budget and our grocery budget (I swear the grocery stores just keep raising the prices!).  Now, you might be asking “how do you increase a line item?”, and the answer is simple; Something else has to be cut back.  We took the money from our monthly savings (grudgingly) to fund the additional money needed for the medical and grocery budget items.  What if you have no savings?  Then you have to cut back on another line item, like cable, telephone or Internet.  Is your budget so slim that you don’t have ANYextras?  Then you need to try cost cutting to bring your spending in line with your budgeted amount, or increase your income to cover the overages.  It’s simple math…your budget must be balanced!  If there aren’t enough funds, you must cut back, or make more!

Now I challenge you to have your own budget committee meeting (if you’re single, you still need to have the meeting with just yourself, or a friend/family member you trust to share this info with)!  Sit down and figure out how much you spent on all your expenses this last year!  How much did you go over? Under?  Do you even have a budget?  First things first, you need a budget.  Get out a pen and paper, and write down all of your expenses, in order of importance (1. housing, 2. food, 3. electricity etc.), then write down your income.  Assign amounts to each category.  If you run out of income before you reach the bottom, then you either need to cut back your expenses, or increase your income.  Did you reach the bottom with money to spare?  Great!  If you have debt, use the money to pay it off, if not, start saving an emergency fund for 3-6 months worth of expenses, and after that, for retirement! 

It’s our opinion that money works for you and not against you if you watch it like a hawk.  Don’t give yourself the opportunity to mess up!  Start this year off right, and take your budget committee meeting to the kitchen table tonight!

This shouldn’t surprise anyone…it didn’t get dubbed “retail therapy” for no reason!  The problem is that in our society, we act like retail therapy is a GOOD thing, when it’s actually AWFUL.  The retail stores have convinced us that it’s normal and OK to shop when we’re down, but they’re only doing that because they want to part us from our money, not because they actually want us to feel better!

The next time you’re feeling down, don’t go out and look for a distraction, go home and find ways to distract yourself!  Take a bubble bath, clean the house, take on some of your “honey-do” list etc.  Go to a park, or the beach, or some other free place to clear your mind.  Get creative.  What you do is your choice, so long as you don’t go to a store and spend money.  It’s a new year, and that means it’s the perfect time for you to make the change that could make you retire with ease 20 or 30 years from now.  It all starts with you, and a step in the right direction is avoiding the mall when you’re down (and whenever else you don’t actually NEED something from there)!

So, keep our advice in mind, and don’t touch it!  If you’re the type of person to go out for “retail therapy” (do NOT get me started on how much I loathe that phrase, and what it implies), then you need to find something to do with your hands.  Put them in your pocket, carry a big bag in your hands, text etc.  Finding something to do with your hands could save you a lot of money over the course of the month, because every time you see a $200 and don’t buy it, that’s $200 in your pocket for something else, which I hope will be savings!

Generation Y is a term applied to those people currently 22 to 33 years old, of which, I am a member.  These people are typically the offspring of Baby Boomers, and according to many in the work force, are nothing like their parents, especially in how they view their jobs.  In the past, this (my) generation has been characterized as a bunch of job-hoppers.   But now that they and their friends are experiencing layoffs and financial problems, the number of those surveyed that had changed jobs in the last 2 years dropped from 40% to almost half of that, and almost a quarter of them plan to stay with their employer until they retire…now there’s some surprising information!

Another interesting thing of note, however, is that the economy and higher rates of unemployment have changed the optimism and confidence typically displayed by this group of people, and they are becoming more financially conservative…all I have to say is that it’s about time! 

Apparently, a new survey shows that 41% of Gen Y-ers have become more fiscally conservative in the last year, and nearly 2/3 say they’re “trying to save more now than a year ago”.  I think that is incredible!  To know that a lot of people from my generation are waking up and saving is great.  And as far as retirement, in the last year the number of Gen Y-ers that are saving for retirement rose from 18% to 53%, but the majority of them are only focused on an emergency fund (which is a good start!).  Considering that more than 30% of Gen Y-ers owe more than $5,000 in credit card debt, saving for an emergency and/or retirement is a nice change of pace. 

No matter what their motives, the Generation Y group has started to notice the benefits of saving money and job security.  I have feared that my fellow Gen Y-ers would never learn this lesson, but I am happily wrong.  Maybe it was the economy, maybe it was the fact that it became cool to be a “recessionista”…or maybe it was that we got tired of hearing the word “recessionista”, and started watching our money to get people to quit using that word…either way, it happened, and hopefully it’s here to stay!

This is one of the most ridiculous things going on in our society right now.  I cannot believe that Boomers are giving so much to their grown, totally able to work (even if that job is “beneath them”) adult children.  I mean, come on…so what if the job doesn’t pay $100,000 a year with nice perks etc.  There is value in being able to say you are making it on your own.  Let’s break down that number above…$59.000 in 5 years is roughly $12,000 a year, or $1,000 a month!  That is a part time job!  You want that lifestyle?  Don’t get it from your parents, who would like to retire soon!

The bottom line is this:  If you’re a Boomer and are looking at your retirement nest-egg, realizing that retirement is going to be tough (if possible at all now or in the future), then you need to evaluate where your money is going.  If, that money is going to your children, it is time to cut them off!  They can have what’s left when you’re gone (if anything) and do what they want with it at that time.  Why would you risk your livelihood on their new car/home improvement etc.?  Teach them the hard lesson that sometimes you have to take care of yourself.  They will have to learn that lesson when you’re gone anyway, and it will be easier if they have your shoulder to cry on when they learn that lesson.

Are you the child of a Baby-Boomer?  Do you “borrow” money from them that you never pay back?  Perhaps it’s time for you to realize that you’re draining their retirement money, and that you need to grow up and pay your own way.  Nowhere in the “how to be a parent” handbook does it say that your parents are responsible for paying your way from birth to YOUR retirement!  Cut them a little slack!  If you can’t live without all of those nice things that you’re buying with their money, get a part time job…otherwise, perhaps it’s time you learned to live within your means!

Okay, so here’s your refresher course, not that most of you need it!  When you’re out shopping, and you see something you like, you can approach it 1 of 2 ways.  The first way (the one we opt for) is to call your spending buddy and tell them what you’re thinking of buying.  If they think it’s frivolous, they can talk you out of the purchase before you buy it.  The second option is to call your spending buddy after you’ve made the purchase and try and defend it.  The difference is usually how bad you can be made to feel.  Think about it…if you call during your shopping, they can stop you from buying it and praise you for putting it up.  If, however, you choose to call your spending buddy after the purchase, while defending it you could feel very guilty for the purchase and it could cause problems in the relationship.  I think it’s worth the risk to the relationship, however, if it teaches a spend-thrift a hard lesson to learn!

Some other information worth noting…if you choose your significant other as your spending buddy (which is the system your favorite southern couple has in place), you had better be sure you have an absolutely solid relationship that cannot be shaken by a little  criticism and guilt.  My advice would be to try it on a temporary basis for a week or two before deciding to put it in place as your go-to system.  If you find that your feelings are hurt by your significant other, and you can’t get past it, stop the trial before real problems follow and both of you should choose someone else to be your spending buddy.  Who makes a good spending buddy?  Someone you look up to or respect.  A person that can criticize you without losing your friendship or relationship.  This could be your mother, sister, brother or best friend.  You decide who works best for you, but just get the system in place.  The quicker you start the buddy system, the more money you’ll save!

These loyalty programs are similar to those of the credit cards, where you earn points toward cash back or other “prizes”. As usual, however, it takes a TON of points to earn anything worthwhile. Luckily, a debit card doesn’t put the consumer further in debt, and these cards give the banks 1%-3% fee per transaction (However, lobbyists for retailers are trying to get that fee capped). UN-luckily, to use these new programs, many banks are charging yearly (or monthly) fees. This means that you have to use your debit card all the time and HOPE to earn the rewards while paying a fee for the PRIVELEGE to be in the program! How fun, right?

Our advice? If you can’t control your spending, and are detached from your debit card, the way you were from your credit card, and it’s not like spending money because it’s plastic…stick to cash. If you can handle using a debit card, use it. We don’t have a problem with them, since the money comes directly out of your checking account…but be aware, overdrawing on your checking account with you debit card is NOT responsible, and if that is you, GO BACK TO CASH! On the subject of loyalty/reward programs? We think you should just skip them. It takes crazy amount of effort to get anything, and costs a yearly fee on top of it!  What a waste.

We have all seen this in our own lives, if not to the extent of jail time.  Somebody tells a little white lie on their resume to make themselves sound better for the job.  People update their statuses to make themselves sound more fabulous and exciting than they really are.  They embellish the problems they had on their car ride/plane ride etc. to make you feel sorry for them.  Whatever the situation, people like to exaggerate when it comes to who they are and what they do.  The sad part is, who we are IS enough for most people, and the people it isn’t enough for are not worth your time!  Do you really want to spend your life trying to impress other people with lies, or live your life, whatever it is, without the embellishments?

Do you find yourself inventing things when you share your history with other people?  Are there things that you’d like to change about yourself, or are you happy with who you are?  If you have things you’d change, have you written them down, and set up a plan to change what you’re not happy with?  That would be where I would start!  Good luck!

Conflicting information is what the author cites as a problem.  An advanced estimate of the annualized 3rd quarter GDP was up 3.5%, but consumer spending fell 0.5% in September.  The GDP numbers are a result of government spending, and, as you would expect, unemployment, and the fear of unemployment are the result of the slump in consumer spending.  The fact is, a recent poll showed 58% of people (October)  still believe the recession is hanging on, up from 52% (September).  And while public opinion certainly isn’t the only factor in the economy, it DOES factor into the economy.  This is obvious…if people think the economy is down, it affects the way the go about their daily lives, and what they do and don’t spend.

You see, there are a lot of opinions out there on where this country and it’s citizens are headed thanks to this economic mess.  Some are saying that we are fine and that everything will go back to “normal” soon, and some conspiracy theorists seem to think we’re going to become third world nation.  The truth, thankfully, is probably somewhere in the middle.   If you read the original article, you should check out some of the absolutely ignorant and insane comments posted by readers.  I’m no economist, but I’m also not going to listen to anyone whose claims sound outlandish at best and pray on the fear and ignorance of other people.  My guess is that the economic turmoil will continue for a while…how long? I have no idea.  The economy needs to correct itself from the inflated values that  we placed on our assets (namely, our houses), and until it corrects itself, I don’t think things can get better.  However, I DO think things will get better.  Banks will start lending again, companies will start hiring again and people will start spending again.  Do I think it will go back to the way things were? No, and I hope it doesn’t.  We shouldn’t expect to buy a home and 3 years later move with 50% equity because of the jump in value…that’s not right.  Slow and steady wins the race people.  When things start to improve, you will have to SAVE your money and PAY DOWN your mortgage for there to be equity in it…and that’s the way it SHOULD be!

So, what is a reverse mortgage?  Well, you can read the full description here, but a simple explanation is that it is a loan for senior citizens, used to release (give back to the owner) the equity of the property as one lump sum or multiple payments over time. The home owner’s obligation to repay the loan is deferred until the owner dies, the home is sold, or the owner leaves (usually going to a long term care facility). 

Today’s article (CNN Money Blog post) is titled Reverse mortgages: Sub prime mess déjà vu?, by Carla Fried.  It looks at how a lot of retirees are taking out reverse mortgages, since they have insufficient nest eggs to carry them through retirement, and how a lot of people, Comptrollor of the Currency John Dugan included, think these financial products have some of the same characteristics as sub prime mortgages.  Considering the mess to which the sub prime mortgages contributed, that should definitely make us be wary of these products.

Some resources to check into, if you want to learn even more about reverse mortgages and their pitfalls, are as follows:

• AARP.org – A section on this website is dedicated educating seniors on reverse mortgage basics, their alternatives and ways that the financial product might be abused.  Check out the web page here.
• U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development – An informative website put on by the government.  It’s not as suspicious of the reverse mortgage product as the AARP website, but it still speaks of the dangers of scam artists peddling information that they give away on their website for free!

I know that there are some people who think these products have their place, but I have to disagree.  As I have said, I’m fine with 15 yeaar fixed rate mortgages, but products like these, just seem to part people with their money.  Make your own choice, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The first bit of information I wanted to share is definitely exciting, and that is that more people are paying with cash!  According to certain retailers (these businesses do not sell luxury goods, just so you don’t think I’m speaking of $1,000 handbags or something), a significant number of their sales so far this year have been in cash, compared with last year, where there were more credit card sales.  This is a wonderful bit of information!  Now, it’s a small sample, and it’s in my local community, but hopefully it’s at least partially indicative of the way people are shopping this season.  I hope that it means more people have saved up for the holidays this year, and aren’t spending more than they make!

Another bit of information we ran across from a national retailer is that the sales are not going to be as good as they were last year (I know, bummed me out too)!  According to our source, last year, many of the typical stores you find in your local mall got caught with a ton of extra inventory and slashed prices to be able to move the inventory toward the end of the holiday season.  This was great for people, last year, but it also means that they learned their lesson, and this year, retailers won’t (or haven’t) have ordered as much inventory, so the deals that were there last year, won’t be there this year.  This is some really unfortunate information, but at least it will keep us focused on finding the best deals this season! 

All in all, I still think it is going to be a wonderful holiday season.  Just keep in mind that cash is the way to go.  Not only will it save you from being credit card poor in January and February (and March?), but it will keep you focused on getting the best possible price!   Look out for deals that aren’t deals.  Compare prices.  Use lay-a-way (making payments on an item that you will not be able to take home until the item is completely paid for) and just be sensible.  Remember how your parents and grandparents shopped for the holidays…they saved for it!

Showing your appreciation to your partner doesn’t just let them know you care, it also shows them respect, and respect is a necessary component of a relationship.  Why do I think these actions are so important?  Because when you love somebody, you shouldn’t be focused on yourself all the time.  Yes, it’s important that you have “me time” where you take care of yourself, but it’s just as important that you let you partner know how you feel.  And I’m not just talking about women here…men need to know these things too!  

You might not agree, and that’s ok.  I’m simply sharing what works for your favorite southern couple!  It’s our opinion that a function of a great couple is that both partners are willing to give up everything for the other, and that the other wouldn’t dare take everything from them.  Good luck in showing your appreciation!

Questions or comments?  Feel free to leave a comment, or ask a question about relationships!  I’ll try to answer it to the best of my ability!

Celebrities look like they lead a very glamorous life.  They have fancy clothes, nice cars and a whole host of other very expensive possessions.  They look like personal trainers and never seem to age.     That is their reality.  It is not, however, reality for the majority of us.  Some of us think we should have (or try to have) the same things/lifestyle as celebrities, but in my opinion, that is not the case.  These celebrities make hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars every year, and can afford fancy cars, mansions and expensive purses.  They can afford personal trainers for hours a day, five days a week.  They can afford all the expensive creams and lotions that keep you looking youthful (or the more expensive counterpart, plastic surgery).  They are not limited by an average salary, like we are.

Even though we know they are celebrities, and know they make many times more money than we do, we haven’t been able to separate in our mind that they have access to a lot more monetary funds than we do.  So we buy things.  Generally, we buy these things on credit, because as I’ve already stated, we don’t have the cash to pay for it ourselves.  This is how, one day, people wake up and find themselves thousands of dollars in debt, and on the verge of bankruptcy.

How do you avoid falling into debt?  Well, as we’ve always stated, you need a budget, a plan and the determination to stay within the limits of the budget you created.  If you just spend less than you make, you won’t go into debt (don’t forget to budget for savings, so you pay yourself later).  Do not think it’s normal to buy $10,000 purses and $200 an ounce face cream if you make $60,000 a year.  If you want a special, expensive handbag, save up and pay cash for it.  If you purchased it on a credit card, it doesn’t have the same status as the one on your favorite celeb’s arm, because they paid cash (or debit equivalent etc.), and therefore, actually earned the status that the bag is supposed to convey.  Live within your means and be happy with what you have.

Your first option, of course, is to save up throughout the year (or what time you have remaining before the holidays).  It’s not that hard to amass a nice little sum to spend on your loved ones if you plan and budget.  Saving only $10 a week amounts up to $520 in a year…now, while that isn’t enough to buy everyone a new car, you can certainly do something nice with that amount.  Want to spend more?  Save more!  The trick is in deciding on what you usually spend and saving that amount throughout the year!  If you didn’t save up for it, and don’t have the disposable income, then you should look into other forms of gifts, because no one needs the stress of credit card debt, and the certainly don’t need to go into debt to buy presents for other people.  And, I’ll tell you a secret…your friends and family don’t want you to go into debt to buy them a present!

If the first option won’t work for you, you’re not out of luck, because you can always give the gift of your time or experience!  Granted, it’s not as glamorous as a new T.V., but giving the gift of your time is still special, ans still shows that you care enough (maybe more) to do something nice for your friends and relatives during the holidays.  Some good options?  Well, you could offer up babysitting services, cook dinner etc. for busy working parents.  That kind of stuff not your thing?  Well, figure out what you’re good at, or what your hobby is, and offer that service to your friends and family!  Let’s say you’re a masseuse…you could offer some of your friends and family a complimentary 30 minute massage as a gift!  No one would turn that down! You just need to be creative.

I’m sure I will revisit this topic as the holiday season draws near, because honestly, it irks my nerves that so many people cannot plan for the holiday season!  Whatever your financial situation is, it boils down to this: If you have the cash saved up or on hand, by all means, spend it on loved ones as you wish, but if you don’t have the cash, give the gift of your time or don’t buy gifts at all, since the last thing anyone needs is more credit card debt!

A good lawyer is a necessity for those people who want to be resposible with their lives and money. At the bare minimum, you should have a will drawn up by a lawyer. Yes, I know that it is cheaper to go to one of the websites out there that offer the forms to be filled out for a fee (usually less than the fee the lawyer charges), however, the form can’t tell you important things about the law that a lawyer either knows off the top of his/her head, or knows the best place to research the answer. Here’s an example: In Kentucky (your favorite southern couples state of residence), if you are married with children, and have no will, when you die, your assets (that do not have beneficiaries identified) are divided up amongst your spouse and either your children or your parents! I would’ve thought it would all go to my spouse, and I would’ve been wrong. Thanks to my lawyer, I now know better.

Most people wait too long to go to a lawyer, and for my part, I don’t know why. When you are sick, you don’t wait too long (think pneumonia or death) to go to a doctor! If your car starts smoking, you don’t wait to take it to an auto mechanic! So, why do people wait until they are in a mess to see a lawyer? I honestly do not know. They shouldn’t, because seeing a lawyer when the problem is minor costs a whole lot less then seeing a lawyer when the problem is huge! Lawyers are there to help you. They are experts on the law, the way a doctor is an expert on your health. If you need legal advice, don’t Google the problem…look for a lawyer! Some words of advice: You should research or ask around (friends or neighbors) about a lawyer you are thinking about hiring. Make sure that their work ethic and personality line up with yours. You should be able to feel comfortable with your lawyer. If you aren’t comfortable with your lawyer, you won’t be as likely to ask for their help, or tell them the whole story, which means they might not fully be able to help you.

Today we are featuring a local lawyer who has just opened his own practice in the Frankfort Kentucky area. Doug Howard is an attorney licensed to practice law in Kentucky, Indiana, and Ohio. He is originally from Frankfort, Kentucky where he currently resides with his wife and children. He graduated from the University of Notre Dame with a B.A. in History and earned his law degree from the Catholic University of America in Washington D.C. Doug’s approach to his law practice is refreshing. I believe he cares about doing the right thing, teaching his clients about the law as he goes, and the best part is that he doesn’t speak in legalese! If you would like to get in touch with Doug Howard, please check out our “links” page to send him an email!

Tax Refunds are terrible for the average American. At the end of the year, when the government finally decides to give the taxpayers back their money (unless you live in California this year, where the government is refusing to give back refunds since it spent all of its money), people all over the U.S. get so excited about how they are going to use the money. Most people start off with noble intentions: “I will use the money to start an emergency fund” or “I will use the money to pay off debt”, but by the time the refund shows up, the new intent is to “buy that 50″ flat panel LCD TV that I’ve always wanted”. Failure. This kind of thing makes me cringe. Tax refunds in the hands of most people end up being impulse spending and nothing more. Don’t lose your willpower. Without debt payments, you could have more money throughout the year and have your tax refund…the best of both worlds!

Lack of accountability is another good reason people fall of the wagon. This applies to money, diets, exercise and smoking to name a few. Most people are not capable of being accountable to themselves. Remember the first time you sneaked a cigarette or cupcake, the first time you decided to skip the gym or buy that new pair of shoes? Who was there to talk you out of it? Generally, no one. If you don’t have someone with whom you have to be accountable, someone to say “you don’t need those shoes” and “skipping the gym is like eating a brownie” then you are more susceptible to your own inner demons. You can’t say, “oh, what’s one cupcake?”. FYI, that one cupcake (1.5 oz) is 200 calories, which is a 30 minute walk on a treadmill…sounds tempting huh? If you’re single, find someone you trust to be your conscience. If you’re married, as a couple you should be on a plan and accountable to each other.

Falling off the wagon from exhaustion sneaks up on you. It’s when you have been so good staying focused on your goals that you wake up one day and say to yourself “I am worn out, I just don’t think I can do this anymore”. It’s when you say things like “I don’t care if I ever see another free weight…” and “So help me, I’d give anything to stop looking at spreadsheets…”. There is nothing I could say to counteract this problem. I can only tell you to take solace in the fact that we all have these moments and that you are not alone. You just have to tell yourself that you are not going to give in to your exhaustion and then make a list of what you have accomplished so far. It doesn’t matter how small you think the accomplishment is, it counts. You wouldn’t have accomplished anything if you had not tried.

Falling off the wagon from a lack of a plan and no cheerleaders is obvious. If you don’t figure out exactly how you are going to accomplish your goal and write it down then you will not stay focused. If you don’t have people around you cheering you on, hoping you succeed and helping you out then you will not stay on task. People need other people to affirm that they are doing a good job. They need people to review their plan and say its good. Enough said.

All in all, there are plenty of reasons we fall off the wagon. Staying focused and on task to achieve your goals keeps you on the wagon and is what it means to be an adult. Think about this…we can’t eat the way we did as children and stay thin….if it were that easy, we’d all be thin. When children get money they can spend it however they want and adults cannot. You can’t take your tax refund and blow it on a TV…you have responsibilities. You ARE an adult. You have to do things differently then when you were a child. You can’t expect to stay thin as an adult without getting exercise…you wouldn’t have stayed thin as a child if you didn’t play and ride bikes. Why do you think childhood obesity is on the news all the time these days…children don’t go outside and play anymore.

So, don’t fail in February. Save your refund, be accountable to someone, persevere through exhaustion, make a plan and find your cheerleaders! I believe everyone is capable of doing amazing things under the right circumstances. It is your job, however, to help create as many of those right circumstances as you can!

You have to focus on creating and meeting goals and expectations for your life to truly get ahead. You have to decide where it is that you want to take your life, what you want and the type of person you want to be while you are doing it and meet THOSE expectations.

So, you set your goals…and now you want to work toward them…how do you do it?? Self discipline. Sticktoitivness. You need to identify what pitfalls you have in your behavior that cause you to fail. For example, if you always spend too much money on things you don’t need (do you really need Starbuck’s coffee or Jimmy Choo shoes?? Or both??), but your goal is to try and put more money in your 401k, well then, the choice is simple. It might be the hard choice, but it is still simple…dump the coffee and get some sneakers or at least a cheaper designer, because your feet will survive very well in Nine West, and your bank account will thank you.

Decide what you want, then tell yourself that if you want that, you have to give up something else. That’s how it works. You want more of one thing, you have to cut back on something else. Want more time with the kids, then work has to stop at the door. After all, what pray tell, did you do before your Black(crack)berry. You want to start your own business?? Then you have to stick to it and persevere. You can’t come home early and you can’t be off all the time. I knew a man who opened a franchise food location, and had it fail within a few months. Why? Because he was rarely there. You can’t be absent in the beginning. You have to be there! He needed to get rid of one of his managers, and 1-2 employees from the store and bust his butt all day long, till the business was throwing off enough profit to EASILY hire someone. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and now I am sure he is suffering for it.

Your expectations and goals for yourself, or you and your spouse if you are married, are all that is important. Help each other achieve more. Make suggestions to each other (or yourself) of ways to accomplish the goals, and be accepting of the suggestions made to you. Decide that you will follow through. Make an effort. Remember that you do not DESERVE whatever it is that you want, unless you earned it. Just existing is not enough to deserve money, fame or whatever it is you think you should have. And BTW, making it through a rough day at work does not entitle you to a mani/pedi, massage, or anything like that. It might entitle you to an evening of rest, and putting off the laundry a day, but not much else. And yes, you still have to do the laundry the next day.

It’s not easy to put together a plan for success and execute it over long periods of time, measuring your progress every step of the way. And when you run into the inevitable roadblocks, if you’re single, find a friend you can trust to just be there. If you’re married, just love each other and be there for each other (sounds like a no brainer, I know). Don’t trust that other people have your best interests in mind.

Ours is an impatient, microwave, fast food, drive-through, instant access, immediate gratification, instant credit, fast cash, overnight shipping, accelerated degree program, CliffsNotes world. Self discipline is hard to come by nowadays. Those who manage to find it are automatically ahead of the game in becoming successful. Everyone else is perfectly average.