In our case, a new baby in the house is definitely a strain on our sanity as first time parents.  There are bottles to be made and diapers to be changed, all while the baby is crying.  It’s a lot on the nerves.  The only way to make it through, that I can see anyway, is to work together.  When you share the responsibilities you are not only showing respect to your partner, but you are directly impacting their stress level in a positive way.  This keeps the blood pressure low and, if your lucky, keeps the sleep deprivation to a minimum, haha. 

Identify the stressers in your relationship.  Sit down and discuss them together, and see if you can agree on a method to work together and remove the stress.  Show each other the love and respect that you felt for each other when you got married.  That is how love and respect grow throughout the years.  I love and respect Jerrill more everyday.  And the love and respect I show him, he shows to me as well, and that, people, helps you keep your sanity when you have a million things to do and no time to do it in.

With this information in mind, if you’re reading this article as a citizen of the U.S., you are already lucky in that you have all of the opportunities afforded to the citizens of this great land.  Given this revelation, why would you waste any of the opportunities you have??  You should be out in the world, making your future better by learning to be frugal and save money for retirement.  And, if you’ve been lucky enough to meet a significant other who shares your views and your luck in being born in the U.S., then you both owe it to yourselves to make the most of everything that comes your way.

This doesn’t mean that you should spread yourself too thin, or that you MUST take advantage of EVERY opportunity, but it does mean that ANY person, no matter their socioeconomic status, has the same ability to get ahead in the U.S., and feeling sorry for yourself or deciding that you can’t do something only hurts you in the long run. 

It”s easy to have a negative and defeatist attitude.  Don’t do easy…have a positive attitude and take advantage of the opportunities that come your way.  That is how you become more powerful in your own life.

• Better Budgeting - Some great ideas here!  My favorite is the idea of yard service.  This is great for the father who doesn’t relish the idea of getting out in the heat and working in the yard.   A truly thoughtful gift.
• About.com - As for this website, I personally like the “week of special lunches”, since Jerrill takes his lunch to work everyday.  I think this might top my list for next years Father’s Day!
• iVillage.com - This has some good tips for the 1st Father’s Day for a new dad!  The big idea here is keeping it simple and inexpensive, and I wholeheartedly agree, since most men I know wouldn’t want you to break the bank on their Father’s Day gift anyway.  Men are men.  If they want something for themselves, they generally go get it!
• Associated Content - This has some sweet ideas and some funny ideas for the new dad.  I LOVE the “new dad diaper changing survival kit”!  This is a great little funny gift for the dad with a sense of humor!

So, with my baby about to be born any day now, you might be asking what your favorite southern woman has done for her man on Father’s Day.  Well, I have 2 presents in store for him (I don’t mind sharing…he’s a little busy with baby stuff right now, and won’t likely be reading this week’s posts, haha).  The first is a picture frame that will have our first family picture in it, that he can take to work.  The second is my favorite however.  I have had his wedding band inscribed, something personal from just me to him, because even though it is Father’s Day, the joy of our baby would not have been possible without our love and devotion to each other, and it’s always good for couples to remember that.

Hope these links help you find the ideal and frugal gift for your dad!  Good luck!

I have always been opposed to the excessive use of tech, especially when you are supposed to be focused on your family.  The fact is, there are times when it’s OK to tech binge, and there are times when it’s not.  Children should not have these tech things that can distract them from their family, and the parents shouldn’t set a bad example by using their gadgets all the time either.  There have been numerous studies that prove that multi-tasking is only possible for 3% of the population without the loss of quality.  With that fact in mind, what do you think happens to the quality of family time when each member of the family has a gadget in their hands and in their face?  Obviously, the quality goes down!

Am I saying that people shouldn’t ever use the tech they have?  No, of course not.  But when “family time” is really family time, it’s probably a good idea to put the tech away for the duration.  For example, when we go on vacation, we heavily limit our use of our tech.  We take our laptop with us to be able to stream music or play it from our music library while we are hanging out at the condo/hotel room.  We take our camera for pictures and the OCCASIONAL video (I’m not a big video fan since I sound every bit the hillbilly that I am ).  We take the GPS to get us there safely, and our cell phones in case of emergency.  We DO NOT use the cell phones while on vacation, with the exception of the phone call made to family informing them of our safe arrival.  We limit the tech because while on vacation, there are PLENTY of other things to do and we should focus on each other, not the world around us.

Think about your household (or, like our example, your vacation).  Do you spend too much time in front of the computer?  Your gaming system?  Your smart phone?  Does your significant other have to ask you the same question 4 times before you hear them?  Have you been caught up in something on the Internet andnot heard your child call to you, or, like the article, have you forgot to pick your child up from school (etc.) because you were too engrossed in something online?  If you struggle to find the time for your family because of your gadgets, I would suggest limiting your time on them, and limiting how much your children see you on them.  If they see you do it, they will also do it, and teaching a child how to ignore their future family isn’t exactly a great life lesson.

Obviously they both speak for themselves, but many times we either don’t think things through or apply them in our lives.  IF, for example, we are the average of the 5 people we surround ourselves with, and we surround ourselves with people who choose to be frugal and manage their money wisely, it stands to reason that we would find it easier to stick to our decisions as well.   

So, the question is, have you thought through the people you spend the most time with these days?  Are they the type of people you would want to be if you had to be someone else?  Would you let them step into your life and run your house and job/business in your stead, making all choices and decisions for you?  If you would not trust them to make the wise decisions you would make (or wiser even), then I say perhaps you need to reevaluate the friendship.  This doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to ditch all your friends that don’t “measure up”, but maybe you need to develop better relationships with friends who meet your new found requirements, or perhaps YOU need to be the role model for your friends, encouraging them in their endeavors.  Whichever of these choices you feel you were meant to do, implementing them isn’t difficult (just being aware of the choices in front of you with regard to your friends is a step in the right direction, but also, I find that deciding to be the type of friend you want to have makes a big difference as well, since so many people are NOT the type of friend they want to have), and the rewards can be plentiful, both in wealth and in personal fulfillment. 

Let’s talk about being a teacher.  It’s a truly stressful job.  They have 100 students (at least) every day that need to be educated with not only the subject that the teacher is charged with teaching but also the life lessons that some of our more lackadaisical parents “don’t bother to” or “forget to” teach their children at home (FYI…it is NOT the job of a school teacher to teach your children the good morals and values of our society…that is in YOUR jurisdiction!).  Needless to say, it’s a little overwhelming.  What’s more, the money system set up around the education system (at least the parts I know about, as I am not an expert) is ludicrous.  For example, the school system allots each teacher a certain number of copies that they are allowed to make per year on the copy machine, and if they want to make more, they have to pay for them!  That puts added and undue pressure on the teacher, because let’s face it, toner and copy paper are cheap.

 However, silly as it is, it is the workplace version of “living within your means”.  But not all teachers do.  They will either spend money out of their own pocket to buy supplies, or send home a list of supplies that the parent MUST provide for all of the various projects the teacher wants to do.  All I have to say is, my oh my, what a mess!  Teachers are given a budget.  They should have to work within that budget (and yes, I am absolutely certain that their budget is too low and doesn’t help much, but it is what it is).  By buying supplies out of their own pocket, they are saying that the budget is meaningless, and that sets the wrong example for the students.  I love the generous nature, but they shouldn’t take the burden on themselves and set a bad example for the children.  And if they decide to pass the cost onto the parent?  Well, the parents at home have their own budgets and money problems to worry about, and the decision to have all of these wonderful projects impacts them too!

So, what is a teacher to do since they’re being squeezed on both sides?  Get creative!  If they figure out less costly projects and methods for teaching the same lesson, they will be able to stay within the budget the school set for them without passing the cost on to the parents!  I know that the replacement projects won’t be as full of bells and whistles, but the object of the lesson is to teach something, and that usually doesn’t require fancy projects.  Also, as long as the teacher has a computer with an Internet connection, she can show the students whatever she wants to show them!  For example…let’s say the teacher originally wanted to have the students build volcanoes for science class.  All she has to do is have them read the chapter, discuss it in class, then show the students this on the projector.  It’s not AS cool, but it works and it’s pretty much free!

I’m not trying to pick on teachers, just so you know.  I just wanted to give an example of how we have a mental disconnect between living within our means at home and at work.  We shouldn’t be frugal at home and a spendthrift at work.  Apply the same principles at both places, and get creative on your savings!

I LOVE this statement.  It shows the power that your thoughts and your point of view can have on your life and your future.  You see, all too often we take the “glass is half empty” approach to life.  We are pessimistic, we expect the worst out of life and out of people we know and meet, and more often than not, we shouldn’t be doing that. 

I like to say that if you want a different outcome, you have to take a different path, and that you shouldn’t let life happen to you, you should happen to your life.  This way of thinking/doing things puts you in a better position to make positive and, on occasion, very lucrative/beneficial decisions for your future because you’re not just following the simple path or a previous path…you’re challenging yourself to be better.  This is the same idea behind Ms. Godfrey’s statement.  By telling people to raise their children to make a job and not just get a job that someone else is offering, she’s not just telling people to be entrepreneurs, she’s telling them to think for themselves, think of what they can make of themselves, and to learn how to plan for their future.  In my opinion, one key difference between the “haves” and the “have nots” of this great nation is that the “haves” have created and are on a plan.  They think positively and shape their point of view to the path that best benefits them.  It doesn’t ALWAYS matter what plan you’re on…more often than not, it just matters that you’re on a plan.

Just a little food for thought in the middle of your week.  Try a different approach.  Think positively.  Create a plan.  See how things turn out.

As a person already in an established career, you continually have to plan for retirement (which we talk about all the time).  This is a normal practice in life.  Unfortunately, something else that has become even more commonplace is finding a new career.  With unemployment high and layoffs climbing, many of you in established careers are finding yourself without a job as companies have to make cutbacks to stay solvent.  You are therefore planning for the near future, and have to figure out if you want to stay in your current career or if you want to change paths.  You are therefore in the same boat as the high school student and the college student.  Having the right information can help all of you make your decisions easier. 

A recent article on Walletpop.com and another website offer great information regarding the top career choices for graduating college students and the top salary earning careers in general.  These resources should help those of you in the process of planning your future careers or discovering potential new careers get an idea of what you can expect (it is a guideline…salaries do vary based on your geographic location in the U.S.) as far as monetary compensation.  Keep in mind that not all careers will be on the lists, and if you’re looking into a different career, you can check out Salary.com for more information.

Is this information necessary to plan a future career?  No.  And you certainly shouldn’t choose a career ONLY based on the income.  We would never recommend that, since it would mean the potential for an unhappy work life (which is not successful living).  However, if you have a few career choices in mind, and feel you would be equally happy at all of them, it doesn’t hurt for income to be a factor in your decision.  After all, more income means a heftier nest egg, college fund (for the kids) and hopefully the ability to spend more quality time with your family.  That kind of information is always welcome when making a decision!

Check out celebrations.com to get ideas on:

• Mother’s Day cupcakes
• Gifts for your wife to be
• Photo or herb bouquets
• Mother’s Day poems

Check out abcnews.com for great ideas including:

• Customized bracelets
• Customizable vases
• Photo books
• DIY Flip flops
• “Me” books (a great idea…very sweet)

There are plenty of low cost/no cost options to make mom happy on these sites, however, most of you should keep in mind that all most moms want for their special day is to see you and spend time with you.  A greeting card would be a nice bonus, but even that is probably optional.  Most moms really just want to know that you care and that you think of them.  So, if you don’t have the time or money, any gesture (like going for a visit) will do.  If, however, you want to do something special for Mother’s Day, these are some great low cost options, which is especially important for those of you following our guidance on frugal living to get out of debt! 

Good luck and  happy shopping to all the children out there.  To the mothers??  A very Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!

Well, the first thing you should notice when you find yourself out of debt (including or not including the house is OK in our opinion) is all of the extra cash you have per month!  After doing your own version of ”the happy dance”, it’s time to sit down and figure out what to do with that money.  You already have an emergency fund started ($1,000), but at this point you should go ahead and increase the fund to 3 to 6 months of your living expenses.  For most people this amounts to at least $10,000.  I know that this might seem like a HUGE amount of money, but in actuality, when you find yourself without any payments, it isn’t that hard to achieve. 

After fully funding your emergency fund, you should then move onto saving for your retirement.  The economy is always fluctuating, but some decent “long term” vehicles for building your nest egg would be a Roth IRA and good growth stock mutual funds.  I know that trying to figure out which are good funds to invest in can be difficult, so if you’re having trouble, check out morningstar.com.  This is a great tool, and they update their website often enough to keep you apprised of how the fund is performing.  Need a place to stash some short term cash, like your emergency fund?  Try an interest bearing checking account or a money market account (with check writing capabilities).  They aren’t bearing a lot of interest right now, but your emergency fund is supposed to be liquid, so that you can get your hands on the money quick. 

We suggest saving at least 15% of your household income, pre-tax.  So, if you make $2,000 a month before taxes, then you should be saving $300 a month.  Now, sometimes it is hard to reach that amount.  IF that’s the case, then do ALL you can, to get as close to that number as you can.  Even if you fall short, you’re still ahead of the game, and doing better than many others.

I know it can be overwhelming to plan your retirement savings, but if you don’t take an active role in your future, who will?  And when you think about it, why should anyone else be responsible for YOUR future other than you?  Take the time to figure out your savings plan, and guarantee yourself a better chance than “the average Joe”!

When a person agrees to a 90 days same as cash gimmick, they are saying that they will pay the full amount (and not a penny less) within the 90 days allotted.  How many of these people actually do that?  Well, according to Dave Ramsey’s website (and a few others), only 12% of people who do 90 days same as cash financing actually pay it off within that time frame!!  Hello!  9 out of 10 people don’t do what they say they’ll do!  This means that you shouldn’t even think about doing this!  But you say, “Oh Emily, I will be the one that pays it off in time”.  Oh really?  Well, if you can make such a guarantee, then you should just pay cash in full in the first place! 

IF, however, you decide that you want to fall for the gimmick, and you don’t pay it off on time, the company will backdate the interest on your purchases to the 1st date of purchase.  And how much interest will you be charged from day one?  Probably around 24%!  So, you went from no interest to 24% over the entire length of time you have the loan (it is a loan, even if you didn’t realize it).  What a ripoff!

What you should know as a consumer is that there is NO financing option offered by any business that is a “good deal” for you!  They will always find a way to part you from your money.  Do the smart thing and just say no to their gimmicks!

The first steps they should take toward getting their finances in order should be to find a person to whom they can be accountable.  This can be a parent, a best friend or even the pastor at their church.  It doesn’t matter who they choose, it merely has to be someone that they can trust with their private information that also has good financial sense (this doesn’t mean the person with the flashiest car or house, because those people are usually in debt themselves).  After finding someone to help keep them on “the straight and narrow path”, they need to sit down and write out their budget.  Don’t know where to begin?  Well, for now I’ll suggest this form to help you singles get started (be on the lookout for a better form from us in the future).  The important thing, no matter if you’re single or in a relationship, is that you’re on a plan and working toward a goal (hopefully to be debt free and saving for retirement). 

We always encourage our readers to leave comments with questions they might have and today is no exception.  Single or married, feel free to ask us what steps to follow up with, or any other questions you might have! 

I want my readers to understand that I don’t say this lightly, but I feel that the Baby Boomer generation made choices that, while right for them at the time, have shaped the attitudes of us Gen Xers and Gen Yers to rebel against the way our parents taught us. 

What am I referring to?  What choices did they make?  Given the innovation of the times, and the changes in attitude toward working women, the Baby Boomers were able to send both parents to work, which resulted in a higher income, but took parents away from their children.  This meant that they weren’t there all the time to ensure their children were learning all the life lessons they should, and given that they had VCRs, game consoles and personal computers to contend with, this might not have been best for every family.

Instead of learning to eat healthy and get plenty of physical activity, some of us only learned what TV dinners were and were allowed to sit and play game consoles instead of physical games outdoors.  Instead of learning to save money and pay for what we wanted with cash, we watched as our parents (and other influential adults in our lives) charged what they wanted, to be paid for over time at a later date. 

Watching this happen, most of us started off as adults who charged everything and ate whatever we wanted without caring about exercise or health.  How did this affect us?  Did we sit back and let it happen to us, teaching the same to our children?  For many of us, we did not.  We decided to take better care of ourselves and our finances.  We decided that dinner should be made from  healthy ingredients, instead of being microwaved in a box.  We decided (or were forced to realize through too much debt) that financing everything we want isn’t a smart financial decision in the long run…that living paycheck to paycheck just to “have it all” right now isn’t really living.  We decided that family time IS more important than 70 hour work weeks just to make a few extra bucks. 

Does this make our parents terrible parents?  Of course not!  We are who we are because of them!  Different parenting styles make the world go round.  It just means that some of us have to dig ourselves out of a hole, be that weight gain/health issues or debt.  Either way, we’re teaching ourselves the lessons we missed, and now just have to remember that for our own children!

In general, it’s not a good idea to even have a a tax refund.  It’s better for your bottom line as well as mathematically to get that money in your paycheck throughout the year, instead of giving the government an interest free loan for a whole year, but I understand that some people just like to get that lump sum at the end of the year.  That’s fine.  However, if you choose to get the lump sum refund for your taxes from the government, you shouldn’t be counting on it for regular bills or expenses.  This money should be used to pay down debt, start (or add to) an emergency fund or invest for your retirement.  These choices will help better your life and your future, whereas buying a big screen TV will only give you short term entertainment.  Do yourself a favor and don’t budget your tax refund into your budget!

Also, I wanted to share a friendly reminder.  Tomorrow is the first day of April, which means that summer is only a couple of months away.  Have you started planning your vacation yet?? More specifically, have you started planning how you’re going to pay for your vacation?  If not, now is the time to start!  Review your budget and see if there is money left over (assuming you have no debt other than your house and are already saving for retirement) for a vacation, and if there is, you should start saving for it now!  Nobody likes to be caught off guard, and that is usually what happens at Christmas time and vacation time.  People are always surprised that vacation time and Christmas came as quickly as it did, and so they aren’t prepared.  This reminder is an effort to be sure that doesn’t happen to our readers!

Why does it cause you so much trouble?  Well, because when you’re intolerant of something, you’re the one experiencing the turmoil, not generally the person of whom you are intolerant.  So even though they might be the one acting like the idiot, you are the one irritated and fuming.  That doesn’t exactly help your mental well being (or your blood pressure)! 

It’s a personal growth experience when you learn to tolerate someone or something.  The drama that occurs during that “experience” is something that I’m sure most of us would rather avoid (as pointed out above), but instead, we need to learn from it and create a working/lasting relationship with the person(s) in question. 

How can you give yourself a better opportunity to be a tolerant adult?  Well, honestly, I’m still learning myself, but my advice from what I’ve learned so far would be to learn tolerance as early in your life as you can!  Learn to accept that people are different, we do things differently, and if someone does something that irritates you, try to be understanding of them and their point of view.  Don’t let them get to you! 

A quick note:  Before you read this and quickly move on, saying to yourself that you are tolerant and this doesn’t apply to you, I really want you to stop and think about how you handle those types of situations…we all have room for improvement!

Now, I am quite positive that most of us have heard people say that communication is the key to a good relationship.  Well, that statement is not only inaccurate, seeing as it has to be GOOD communication to be worthwhile, but it also leaves out a couple of other very important parts of a healthy relationship: Respect and appreciation.  Although we all know that respect and appreciation are important, we are all generally so self-centric that we only focus on when we aren’t receiving them.  And what I have to say to you is this: Why?  Why do you think that your partner should show you respect and appreciation if you aren’t showing them that same respect?  It isn’t a one way sort of thing!  It’s just like saying please and thank you!  You should WANT to show respect and appreciation to the person that you love, just as much as you want to receive it.  I don’t wake up in the morning wondering what ways my husband can show me his love, respect and appreciation!  I wake up wondering what ways I can show him my love respect and appreciation! 

Here’s the short and tall of it:  You can communicate until you’re blue in the face, but if that communication (or any other part of the relationship) doesn’t include respect and appreciation, then the relationship will suffer.  Not sure how to get started??  How about saying please and thank you?  How about asking your partner if you can do anything for them?  That way, their emotional piggy bank fills up and overflows, making it easier on them to reciprocate!

I know a woman who demonstrates a dedication and voracity that is rarely matched, with an eye for creativity in the face of her problem.  This woman has 2 children, both boys.  She would very much like to try for a girl, but she needs to have a surgery to be able to try for her baby girl.  This will cost several thousand dollars that is not covered by her insurance, so, she was faced with a difficult situation.  She did not cower or give up, though.  Instead, she has decided to start a side business outside of her normal job.  She is quite talented at decorating cakes, and so, she has taken that talent and turned it into income!  She is offering cakes to friends, family, and anyone else interested in visually interesting cakes for a reasonable price.  Her goal is to save up enough money to pay for the surgery.  This is not a woman beaten by her circumstances.  I always say that you can’t let life happen to you, you have to happen to your life…and she is doing just that!

What type of dedication do you have?  Do you rise to the occasion when you are faced with a problem, or ponder on it too long, or do nothing?  Whatever your answer, you can be sure that others are starting businesses in their kitchen, getting their extra slice of the money pie.  Will you let your opportunity pass you by, or rise to the occasion?

Instant gratification is having a lack of impulse control, and, conversely, delayed gratification  is having the ability to wait for something you want (i.e. willpower or impulse control).  In our society we tend to think of children as having no impulse control, and learning this ability as they get older and become an adult.  Well, what happens when the child isn’t taught impulse control, and grows up with the same attitudes they had as a child?  We think that these children grow up to be the people who struggle with any vices that require willpower/impulse control, such as spending money and overeating etc.  These people still have the “I want it now” attitude, and whatever “it” is, they don’t deny themselves the treat, because they “deserve” it.  Can you imagine what the little girl with the spa package at age 5 will act like as an adult if she  doesn’t learn to have self control (which is not likely to be learned from her mother, I’m sorry to say)?  So, what’s the good news?  If you struggle with impulse control, you can learn it as an adult.  You just have to take each instance where you need willpower and ask yourself why you need the item now, and if it’s worth it.  It’s not easy.  You will fail on occasion.  But every time you don’t fail, that’s one step closer to mastering the skill!

Delayed gratification is one of the biggest tricks up the sleeves of people who succeed.  They know how to wait for what they want.  Knowing this, as a parent, make sure you teach your child how to have willpower, and as an adult (who lacks willpower), decide that you aren’t going to fall victim to your childhood whims of instant gratification and help yourself succeed!

And let’s not forget the nasty divorce between Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger.  That situation was all over the entertainment magazines and shows when it was top news, and most of us remember the not so distant and very public fight he had with his 11 year old daughter, in which he called her a pig.  I don’t think he’s the best choice for helping a couple work things out.

To be fair, I think that this show will be hilarious, but only because the advice offered from the celebrities will be, to put it politely, “sub par”.  I worry that people watching it will give them credit as being an “expert” on fixing relationships, simply because they’re a celebrity.  We have a tendency to give people more credit than they’re due in our society if they’re on TV, which is ridiculous.  Just because someone is on TV does NOT make them an expert, and I hope our readers never forget it!

What do I do with my fashion knowledge??  I use it to shop for bargains at retail stores that aren’t going to break the bank.  Some people, however, think that they have to have what’s in the magazine, and what the stars are wearing, and they blow through their credit card limits barely noticing as they chase the current trends.  These poor people would rather be in debt than off trend or insignificant.  They chase celebrity status and think they are entitled to the best things in life.  I feel very bad for these people, because they don’t understand the damage that they’re doing to their lives, all in the pursuit of fame and appearances.  Do a google search for how to become famous, get 80 million results…search for how many people become famous, and get no relevant or accurate results.  For many people, this is an obsession, and it will cause them a lot of heartache throughout the years if they don’t change.

So, what are a couple of ways to turn the negatives of obsessing over fame and status into a positive?  Well, deciding to become the best at what you do, even if it means you’re not famous or on TV, is a good start.  That way, you’re pouring your energy and ambition into something that is likely to help you secure a decent lifestyle and a comfortable retirement in the future, and you’re not distracted by what is not likely to happen.  Also, challenge yourself to either save everything you were spending on those expensive lifestyle goods, or challenge yourself to find the absolute best price on them.  You’d be surprised at how much money you can save, if you just stop paying attention to the designer label!  

Remember, being an adult isn’t about age…it’s about character, attitude and actions…don’t let your actions reveal you to be a child, only out to get attention and the latest, coolest toys.

Well, if you are having trouble coming up with creative ideas, let me put your mind at ease that most women (not all of us, unfortunately…even though Valentine’s Day is OPTIONAL, some women expect the moon and more) are appreciative of anything you do.  So no matter what it is, the fact that you’ve done something is enough to make us happy.  That being said, if you want to get creative with the traditional Valentine’s Day ideas, to score some bonus  points, there are some great ways to do that.  For example:

• The trifecta – Flowers, candy and jewelry.  We all like roses, but get creative and get some orchids or tulips (red or pink are probably best).  Candy is great unless she’s health conscious, so either get her favorite chocolates (they don’t have to be expensive, just her favorite) or try something a little more healthy, like her favorite fruits or nuts (the expensive ones that she won’t buy herself).  Jewelry is a personal thing, but as long as you know which color is her favorite (yellow or white gold) and which type of jewelry (bracelet, earrings or necklace) you should be fine.  No matter what you choose, be sure to get creative and hide the box where it will surprise her.
• Dinner and a movie- This is a great gift for the significant other that doesn’t get to go out much.  The dinner should be to a nice place (where she can get dressed up, if she likes that sort of thing) and the movie should be her favorite (yes, that could mean chick flick, but come on, it’s only once a year, I know you’re man enough to live through it).
• Cultural – If your girl likes a little culture, a trip to the theater or a museum might suit her.  Take her to her favorite cultural outing, or to a new place (or show) she hasn’t been to yet.

If  you’re on a tight budget, some of these things can sound out of your reach.  Don’t worry!  These are ways to be sweet to your significant other while watching your pennies too!  Here are some examples of the above ideas, on a budget:

•  The trifecta – Flowers, candy and jewelry.  Flowers on a budget at Valentine’s Day isn’t too bad.  You can get them at a discount store, like Costco or Sam’s Club/Wal-Mart, the price will be what you like.  Also, it pays to buy them a week early and give them to her then, since the price will be lower (unfortunate, but yes, the florists jack-up the prices on Valentine’s Day).  Candy is easy on a budget…instead of opting for an expensive box of chocolates, bake her a delicious dessert.  This satisfies her sweet tooth, saves money and scores you points for effort!  Jewelry is easier than you think on a budget.  Most women like “costume” or “fashion” jewelry, so find out her favorite costume jewelry designer, and, if it’s in your budget, get some.  Not in your budget?  Opt for something personal, like her favorite movie on DVD, with a bag of popcorn and a note about having a movie night, or a professional massage (check your local massage school, since they often offer these services at a fraction of the cost…or, give her the massage yourself!).
• Dinner and a movie – If she likes to go out, do a dinner out, but scale back and take her to a moderately priced place.  Otherwise, cook for her.  You can buy the ingredients to make a fancy dinner at a fraction of the cost of that same dinner out.  Set the table for a formal dinner, with full silverware, linen napkins and candles.  Inform her that she should “dress” for dinner, and be dressed up yourself, since it will make the experience more memorable.  The movie can be watched at home (budget friendly), and if you want serious bonus points, a little dancing in the living room never hurt any man, I don’t care if you’ve heard rumors to the contrary!
• Cultural – Well, museums are still priced right for the budget conscious this year, but the theater is out, so if the museum isn’t your thing, you could both go donate blood together, or do some community service work together.  Not in that kind of mood?  Well, find a safe but culturally different part of town, and go on a mini “tour”.  Walking, biking or driving, it’s up to you.  Just do something to make it memorable.

There you have it!  A few (and long winded) tips on ways to get creative or stay in budget for Valentine’s Day!  Good luck, and I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

Small Business Tips, By Douglas C. Howard

A Message to Employees

As a small business owner, one of the hardest aspects of running a business is finding the time to do it yourself, or be willing to delegate the task to someone else.  The first course of action provides the benefit of knowing that the task was done specifically how you, the owner, wanted it done, in a timely fashion, and you do not have anyone to blame for failure except yourself.  Delegation, of course, means that you may benefit from someone else’s expertise, frees you for other important tasks, and allows your employees the chance to prove themselves.

Of course, the pitfalls for the first course of action, are that you do not have enough time to do everything, you must find some way to balance running your business with your life, and you may not be the best person to handle that specific task.  The downside to delegation is that you have to trust someone to take care of the task, they may not do it exactly how you would have or would have wanted it done, and they may not do it in a timely fashion.

“A Message to Garcia” is a short essay by Elbert Hubbard written in 1899.  No doubt many of you have already read and studied its message, being that of a short work.  But its message is still relevant today, more so than ever.  I recently ran across it and thought a brief summary of the work would be great as “A Message to Employees”.

“A Message to Garcia” is set during the conflict between Spain and the United States and takes place in Cuba.  Of course at that time, communication had to take place in person or via courier, if telegraph were unavailable.  The essay centers on an Army Lieutenant by the name of Andrew Rowan.  General Garcia was the commanding officer of insurgents located in Cuba.  He was located somewhere in the mountainous region of Cuba and would be difficult to find and communicate with.  A message had to be gotten to him so that his forces could be mustered.  How was a message to be gotten to Garcia?  President William McKinley and other commanding generals were unsure, until Lt. Rowan was suggested, stating that he was the person for the job, “if anyone can.” 

Rowan was summoned, given the message, told the general location of Garcia, and was sent off on his way.  He was not told how to do the job, or how to find Garcia, nor did he ask.  He was simply delivered to Cuba on one side of the island, and three weeks later picked up on the other side of the island, having completed his task.

So I ask employees, “Are you the Rowan of your company?” 

If you strive to be the Rowan of the company you work for, here are some general tips.

First, be available for assignments, any assignment, without hesitation.  The owner of the company or your direct supervisor may not want to ask you do something that may seem so menial, but if it is a project that they can get off of the “to-do” list, it may help them immensely.  If you are adaptable to whatever task is at hand, you will become indispensable to your company.

Second, be reliable.  If your boss asks you to get something done in a timely manner, have it done by that deadline.  Often other deadlines must be met down the line, so do not be the weak link.

Third, ask for guidance on the task, but figure out how to get it done on your own.  This is a fine line to walk, but the more you can do on your own, the more burden you relieve from your superior.  The more burden you relieve, the more grateful your superior will be.

Fourth, take action.  So often people get bogged down in the details that they become apoplectic and unable to even start a project.  Often times procrastination prevents even the first step from being taken, which is most often the hardest step to take.  As I write this, I have had to stave off turning on the television, checking my email, researching other issues not relevant to this article at hand, getting up to grab lunch, and a hundred other minuscule thoughts that crossed my mind to prevent me from writing this article.

Fifth, be diligent.  After taking the first step, be diligent in taking the next several steps.  Eventually you will come out on the other side.  See the preceding paragraph for an explanation.  Whether it takes an hour or three weeks, staying on task, will eventually get it done.  And it will show your employer that you do not need constant hand-holding or someone looking over your shoulder to make sure that you are getting your work done.

I hope this is helpful.  Since “A Message to Garcia” is short, it is well worth the read.  It is considered public domain and a copy of the complete text can be found at HowardLawGroup.com on the “Small Biz Tips” page.

Douglas C. Howard is an attorney based in Frankfort, Kentucky that assists small businesses with their legal needs and has taught “Entrepreneurship 101″ for the Thornhill Community Education Center and posts tweets and other updates on Twitter under his Twitter name, LegalPreneur.

From Wikipedia:  Elbert Hubbard was an author and philosophers who edited and published two magazines, The Philistine and The Fra. The Philistine was bound in brown butcher paper and full of satire and whimsy. (Hubbard himself quipped that the cover was butcher paper because “There is meat inside.”)  Owing to his prolific publications, Hubbard was a renowned figure in his day.

No matter what your ultimate goal is, more than likely you need to plan for it!  Are you planning for this goal that you want to achieve?  Are you working toward it as I’m typing this?  If not, then how do you ever expect to achieve it? 

Planning out your life usually gets you just as excited as doing your taxes, but is just as necessary (don’t want the government coming after you, do you?) because it not only maps out what you need to do, but gives you a sense of purpose to work toward for your future.  Basically, you can’t reach your destination if you don’t have a map to go by.  So, what are some ways to plan for the future?

First, you need to brainstorm.  What is your goal?  What credentials or money do you need to achieve your goal (college, or capital to get started?)?  Is the place you live in a good place to work toward that goal, or is there another place better suited to the goal (i.e., marine biologists shouldn’t live in the desert).  What type of friend and family network do you need to make this goal a reality?  If your goal is for a certain career, are you sure that the career is suited to your personality (i.e. if you don’t like paying attention to details, accounting is probably not a good career path for you).  If your goal is to retire wealthy, have you written out a budget and figured out what percentage of your income you need to save in order to do so (the money isn’t just going to appear, and social security, if it’s still around, definitely won’t let you live “comfortably”). 

Once you have brainstormed and figured out all the things necessary to achieve the goal, then you put them in chronological order or order of necessity, whichever seems to make more sense for your particular needs.  Now, you have a map.  Start at the top of the list and work at it, one item at a time.  For example, if the first thing you need is an education, then that is where you start.  Use the same process of identifying how to achieve each item on your list, as you did to make the list, and you not only have a plan/map to achieve your ultimate goal, but it should be easier to achieve it, because you aren’t scrambling to figure things out on the fly.

Don’t know what you want to do, or what your ultimate goal is in your life?  That’s ok.  Take time to figure it out.  If you bounce around for a few years longer than your friends, it’s OK.  It doesn’t make you inferior, it just means that your interests are too varied to settle on one thing at that point in your life.  However, once you do figure out your passion, take these steps to get a plan in action!

There are very few people out there who can make intuitive leaps of greater understanding out of scarce information.   You know, the people who excel in an area in spite of all surroundings and obstacles.  These are the “genius janitors” out there, solving quantum physics equations on their lunch breaks.   They are the jungle explorers who can successfully navigate to the other side, safe from animals and disease. These are the people that make/invent the things that push civilization forward.  People like Leonardo da Vinci and Nicola Tesla.  For the rest of us mere mortals, gleaning a deep understanding of something takes work and time.   Time we don’t generally have.  Another problem?  Many of us have too much pride to ask those individuals that already have the knowledge we need to share it with us.   It’s hard for us to make progress as individuals, much less move forward and take a bunch of people with us. You know who you are!   You are the man that refuses to ask for directions and gets lost, because navigating from point A to point B seemed like such an easy task at the beginning of the road trip (Thank goodness for GPS!).  You are the person out there quietly struggling to pay the bills and building up a savings account because you were never taught how in school and never sought out the advice of someone who has it all figured out.   You know how your favorite southern couple feels about that!  Swallow that pride!  Find somebody who is “smarter” than you and ask them to share their knowledge.   Odds are, they will happily do so, and you won’t have to reinvent the wheel.   Find someone who is already doing what you want to do yourself, be it find that boutique or thrift store across town, balance that budget, or solve that physics equation! 

You don’t have to go through life without help.  Nobody does.  There are scads of things out there to help you along, some are free and some aren’t, but they are all there for you.  But you have to take the first step.  You have to ask for help, before it is given to you!

I hate to see people suffer, and those people that have lost their jobs are in my prayers.  However, the falling home prices are only an immediate concern if you are trying to sell your house and/or have lost your job.  If you have a stable income and are contented in your home, staying there for a few years (decade, maybe?) isn’t a big deal, so neither is the drop in value.  Debt, is, as always, a major concern for us.  If you are employed, you should be making a budget, sticking to it, funding your emergency fund and getting out of debt.  If you are unemployed, then you are in an income crisis, and that should be your main concern…along with food, shelter (that doesn’t mean a “McMansion”) and basic utilities (i.e. lights, water and heat).  You can’t focus on paying people back what you owe until you get stability back in your life, so put them on hold, even if it takes a few months. 

I would like to make a point for our readers though: with roughly 10% unemployment, that means that 10 people out of 100 are out of work, which is the same as saying 90 people of 100 are employed…it’s terrible for those 10 people, but overall, it’s not a catastrophe.  And those 90 out of 100?  They are shopping!  Maybe less often than before, and they might be spending less than before, but they are shopping…at least, that’s the way it looks EVERY time I drive past/go to the mall.  The place is packed!  As usual, I can’t find parking there, and the Christmas season was just as bad as usual.  Now, like I said, I know this isn’t the case everywhere, but the media’s version that everyone everywhere is suffering terribly, in houses they can’t afford, without jobs and piling up debt.  This isn’t true either.  The truth, as usual, is probably somewhere in the middle.  Some are suffering, some aren’t.  If you are suffering, I wish you luck and speed in your job searches and in getting out of debt, and if your job and home life are stable and “secure”, work hard to keep it that way, and help those who need it, either with prayer, food donations or job contacts (etc.).

As I said above, we also go over our budget reports to understand what is being under-funded and what is being over-funded.  We look at EVERY budget item.  Last night, we had to increase the money funding our medical budget and our grocery budget (I swear the grocery stores just keep raising the prices!).  Now, you might be asking “how do you increase a line item?”, and the answer is simple; Something else has to be cut back.  We took the money from our monthly savings (grudgingly) to fund the additional money needed for the medical and grocery budget items.  What if you have no savings?  Then you have to cut back on another line item, like cable, telephone or Internet.  Is your budget so slim that you don’t have ANYextras?  Then you need to try cost cutting to bring your spending in line with your budgeted amount, or increase your income to cover the overages.  It’s simple math…your budget must be balanced!  If there aren’t enough funds, you must cut back, or make more!

Now I challenge you to have your own budget committee meeting (if you’re single, you still need to have the meeting with just yourself, or a friend/family member you trust to share this info with)!  Sit down and figure out how much you spent on all your expenses this last year!  How much did you go over? Under?  Do you even have a budget?  First things first, you need a budget.  Get out a pen and paper, and write down all of your expenses, in order of importance (1. housing, 2. food, 3. electricity etc.), then write down your income.  Assign amounts to each category.  If you run out of income before you reach the bottom, then you either need to cut back your expenses, or increase your income.  Did you reach the bottom with money to spare?  Great!  If you have debt, use the money to pay it off, if not, start saving an emergency fund for 3-6 months worth of expenses, and after that, for retirement! 

It’s our opinion that money works for you and not against you if you watch it like a hawk.  Don’t give yourself the opportunity to mess up!  Start this year off right, and take your budget committee meeting to the kitchen table tonight!

• No one’s perfect – This shouldn’t even have to be said, since we should all already know this, but too often we do not.  We know that we aren’t perfect, but don’t extend this logic to our friends, loved ones and other acquaintances.  We should though, because holding people to a standard of perfect is only setting you up for disappointment.  Try to remember that the people in your life are trying…and you should try too!
• “Events reveal people’s characters;they don’t determine them” – This should be something that we all remember.  If your friend does something hurtful to you because of a bad situation they find themselves in, they were likely to do it anyway…it was not the situation that created the attitude, the attitude merely came out during the situation.  The event doesn’t matter.  “You have the chance to be the person you wish to be, until you die”.
• Love and family are hard, you can’t fake feelings forever - Be honest with those you love.  Keeping relationships strong through decades is a lot harder than you might think it is, and dishonesty will only breed contempt.  Share your thoughts and feelings with friends and loved ones, even when it is hard. 
• Keep your eye on the prize – Never lose sight of your goals and aspirations.  I know that in this instant gratification, have it now world, it’s easy to lose sight of your own feet in front of you, but the dream is part of you, and you shouldn’t give up on it or forget about it.  I don’t care if your dream is to be President of the United States, or to be the loving housewife and mother of a wonderful husband and 2 great children…never forget that dream, and, as Winston Churchill said, never give in.

Anyway!  There a lots of great choices for handmade gifts.  You could bake sweets or bread, knit/crochet something , make a decoration or make handmade soap etc. for someone.  The possibilities are endless.  It only takes simple know how and a few items to make most of them.  They are especially economical in bulk!  For different ideas on handmade gifts, go here, here and here.  There are plenty of other places to find gift ideas on the web, but these will get you started!  Good luck and remember, don’t think you can’t do something because you haven’t in the past!  Jump in a tackle that project!

Okay, so here’s your refresher course, not that most of you need it!  When you’re out shopping, and you see something you like, you can approach it 1 of 2 ways.  The first way (the one we opt for) is to call your spending buddy and tell them what you’re thinking of buying.  If they think it’s frivolous, they can talk you out of the purchase before you buy it.  The second option is to call your spending buddy after you’ve made the purchase and try and defend it.  The difference is usually how bad you can be made to feel.  Think about it…if you call during your shopping, they can stop you from buying it and praise you for putting it up.  If, however, you choose to call your spending buddy after the purchase, while defending it you could feel very guilty for the purchase and it could cause problems in the relationship.  I think it’s worth the risk to the relationship, however, if it teaches a spend-thrift a hard lesson to learn!

Some other information worth noting…if you choose your significant other as your spending buddy (which is the system your favorite southern couple has in place), you had better be sure you have an absolutely solid relationship that cannot be shaken by a little  criticism and guilt.  My advice would be to try it on a temporary basis for a week or two before deciding to put it in place as your go-to system.  If you find that your feelings are hurt by your significant other, and you can’t get past it, stop the trial before real problems follow and both of you should choose someone else to be your spending buddy.  Who makes a good spending buddy?  Someone you look up to or respect.  A person that can criticize you without losing your friendship or relationship.  This could be your mother, sister, brother or best friend.  You decide who works best for you, but just get the system in place.  The quicker you start the buddy system, the more money you’ll save!

I have a friend that I have known for 17 years, and for 6-7 of those years, we did not speak.  This friend and I were inseparable throughout several of our high school years, and only drifted slightly when I moved away.  A few years ago, the blow up was partially their fault, and partially mine.  This friend did something in very bad taste, and I, not realizing it was a cry for help, did not help them, but instead, sent them away.  Flash forward to this year…this friend contacted me, and after years to think about what we’d both done wrong, I felt it was a good idea to try again.  And I’m glad I did.  It might not be just like old times, since we live a couple hours apart, but it’s easy again…the way a close friendship should be.  This is not to say that we don’t all have friends who are, as another friend of mine likes to call them, “small-dosers”, i.e. friends you can only be around for a limited time so they don’t drive you crazy.  We all have those friends, but the closest friends shouldn’t be hard to be around, and thankfully, for me and my friend, it isn’t.

Do you have a friend that you’ve lost touch with for this type of reason?  Do you think about them often, wishing there was a way to get things back to better times?  Do you think that they’re character is good and they are worth a second chance, or the extra effort?  If so, make that effort.  If they contact you, go slowly, but learn to forgive and forget.  Forgiveness is one of the things that makes us human, and I like to try it when I can.  This doesn’t mean it will always work.  Sometimes, a person’s character is lost forever, or they have hurt you so badly that you cannot imagine ever forgiving them, or they weren’t a good enough friend in the first place to merit forgiveness, since you didn’t care to be around them anyway.  The dilemma and decision are yours to make.  Just remember that if you thought them worth “best friend” status before, keep that in mind if they offer an olive branch.

Throughout the years, people have made fun of the guy who carries his woman’s purse.  Heck, Brad Paisley even wrote a song about it!   Now, I know that something as small as carrying her purse is not indicative of lasting 50 years, but it does reveal a characteristic that, in my opinion, does relate to a lasting relationship…consideration.  Being considerate of your partner, and their feelings, is vital to a relationship.  It shows that without their request, you’re willing to help them, it reveals a deeper connection between you both and a desire to put your partners feelings before your own.  And as you all know, on this point, Jerrill and I do not waiver.  We put each other’s feelings ahead of our own.  Not out of obligation, but out of love and respect.  And while it might not work for everyone, it works pretty well for us!  Do we have our moments?  Sure, nobody’s perfect, and everyone has their moments where they don’t think.  But the effort is what counts. 

So, here is your homework.  Look at your own relationship.  Do you think you’re a considerate partner?  Can you name examples?    If you can, great.  If not, perhaps you should try and incorporate a couple of new ideas into your relationship. 

Just a little food for thought!  But you know, a strong bond between partners can help you get through the upcoming holidays, amongst other things!

You see, it’s become part of our culture to shop-shop-shop.  Retail therapy, they call it.  Think about that statement.  They want you to come and spend money to make yourself feel better.  Is that the way we should be relieving stress/improving our mood?  I don’t think so.  It’s an instant gratification thing.  We are like children with a shiny new toy…retail therapy!  How ridiculous!  Sounds like we’re simply encouraging ourselves to act like children.  I think we should act like adults.  Adults save up for things.  They have delayed gratification.  They don’t get retail therapy, they relieve stress by being with friends and family (or getting a REAL therapist, not one that doubles as a satchel purse and is called Louis Vuitton).  This, is why I like lay-a-way.  It allows people who don’t have the cash to pay for something all at once an option that doesn’t charge high interest and isn’t a credit card.  As a bonus, you don’t get the merchandise until you pay for it in it’s entirety, so it teaches delayed gratification!

I should note that we don’t really use lay-a-way ourselves, because, as most of you know, we save up throughout the year to pay for the things we want.  We have a Christmas category in our budget, that receives money each and every week.  This ensures we will have the money that we have determined we want to spend on the holiday, in time for said holiday (and in case you’re wondering, we determine the amounts in all budget categories at our “new year new budget” committee meeting, held in January).  If however, you haven’t been keeping up with your budget (and I really hope you have), then lay-a-way is the way to go for you.  Just remember this phrase…I WILL NOT use credit cards on presents!

• When you shake hands with someone, make sure you follow it up with washing your own hands.  Washing your hands often sends the germs down the drain.
• Stop touching your face.   Your eyes and nose are common places for germs to get you.   Hands off!  (This, unfortunately, is probably how I got sick.)
• Get some sleep already!  It just makes sense that you need more sleep when you’re sick, so rest a lot and sleep more!
• Get your flu shot!  Chances are, if you’re worried about the flu, you’ve already got a flu shot, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention it.
• Eat healthy foods.  You might feel that people harp on eating fruits and veggies all the time, but when  you’re sick, it’s a must.  The vitamins in these foods help your body heal itself.
• Exercise.  Now, you knew that I was going to include this one!  Working out enhances your immune system, which we could all use.  A helpful hint, however, is to be sure and wash hands/use hand sanitizer often while at the gym, and not touch your face (this, again, is probably where I got into trouble.  I can’t help but wipe the sweat from my face…big no no).
• If you think they’re sick, stay back!  When you see people who are obviously sick, don’t get close.  It doesn’t matter if they’re a stranger, your boss or a member of your family, keep your distance.
• Use Hand sanitizer.  Make sure you buy the right kind.  Sanitizer and wipes that aren’t alcohol based won’t be as effective.
• If you double dip, don’t share the dip.   I don’t judge you fro double dipping, but if you do, get your own dip, so others aren’t sharing your germs.  You can always spoon out some dip on your plate, so you and your friends/family aren’t germ swapping!
• Ditch the cloth purse.  Purses collect germs, since they end up on surfaces covered with germs.  Cloth purses will hold more germs, since they can’t be wiped down easily.  Use leather/vinyl etc. purses in winter months, and wipe them down.
• Sneeze into the crook of your elbow.    It sounds weird, but your hands usually have germs on them, so sneezing in them couls spread more germs.

If you’re already sick, here are some tips:

1. Stay home and medicate.  Don’t go out.  Don’t keep company.  Just stay in and get better (hence, I’ve been stuck in this house since Sunday.  I’m not happy about it, but it’s the smart thing to do.).
2. Pay attention to your symptoms.  If you keep getting worse, contact your doctor.  It might not be a cold, it could be the flu, a sinus infection, bronchitis, walking pneumonia etc.
3. Hydrate.  Keep drinking fluids, because dehydration can make you worse.  If you’re not able to keep down fluids, contact your doctor.

That’s it!  For more info on avoiding whatever illness is going around in your local community, contact your doctor or your local health department.  FYI, your local health department is a valuable tool, and has a wealth of information…use it!

Tips for child Halloween activities:

• Pick out or make a costume that will be safe. Make it flame retardant, and the eye holes should be large enough for good peripheral vision.
• Warn children not to eat any treats before an adult has carefully examined them for evidence of tampering.
• Treat your kids to a spooky Halloween dinner.  It will make them less likely to eat their candy before you check it for them.
• Be sure older children TAKE FRIENDS and younger children are accompanied by a TRUSTED ADULT when “Trick or Treating” OR…
• Know the route your kids will be taking if you aren’t going with them!
• Explain to children the difference between tricks and vandalism.   “Egging” a house may seem like fun but they need to know that it is vandalism and the  clean up and damages can ruin Halloween. If they are caught vandalizing, make them clean up the mess they’ve made, and pay for the damages, no matter how long it takes them to pay/work it off!
• Children should go only to homes where the outside lights are on as a sign of welcome.
• Teach children to NEVER enter a home without prior permission from their parents or guardians.  This does not include their teenage babysitter or sibling.
• Teach children to NEVER approach a vehicle, occupied or not, unless they are accompanied by
  a parent or adult guardian.
• Make sure children carry a flashlight or glow stick to see and be seen.
• Teach children if anyone tries to grab them to make a scene; scream things like “this person is not my father/mother/guardian”; and make every effort to get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.

Tips for adult Halloween activities:

• Keep an eye on the drinking, don’t let it get out of hand.
• Take the keys away from anyone that may be driving, and be sure everyone knows they are welcome to sleep over, even if they have to crash on the floor.
• Have one person stay sober and offer to drive those people home who may have had too much to drink.
• When deciding on a menu, check and see if anyone attending the party has food allergies that might be a problem, and be sure you have a few dishes for those friends who are vegetarians!
• Don’t forget to watch who’s coming in and out of your house.  

That’s it boys and girls!  Get out there and have fun this Halloween, but be safe! 

For more info, or the sources for these tips, check here, here and here!

The first bit of information I wanted to share is definitely exciting, and that is that more people are paying with cash!  According to certain retailers (these businesses do not sell luxury goods, just so you don’t think I’m speaking of $1,000 handbags or something), a significant number of their sales so far this year have been in cash, compared with last year, where there were more credit card sales.  This is a wonderful bit of information!  Now, it’s a small sample, and it’s in my local community, but hopefully it’s at least partially indicative of the way people are shopping this season.  I hope that it means more people have saved up for the holidays this year, and aren’t spending more than they make!

Another bit of information we ran across from a national retailer is that the sales are not going to be as good as they were last year (I know, bummed me out too)!  According to our source, last year, many of the typical stores you find in your local mall got caught with a ton of extra inventory and slashed prices to be able to move the inventory toward the end of the holiday season.  This was great for people, last year, but it also means that they learned their lesson, and this year, retailers won’t (or haven’t) have ordered as much inventory, so the deals that were there last year, won’t be there this year.  This is some really unfortunate information, but at least it will keep us focused on finding the best deals this season! 

All in all, I still think it is going to be a wonderful holiday season.  Just keep in mind that cash is the way to go.  Not only will it save you from being credit card poor in January and February (and March?), but it will keep you focused on getting the best possible price!   Look out for deals that aren’t deals.  Compare prices.  Use lay-a-way (making payments on an item that you will not be able to take home until the item is completely paid for) and just be sensible.  Remember how your parents and grandparents shopped for the holidays…they saved for it!

Showing your appreciation to your partner doesn’t just let them know you care, it also shows them respect, and respect is a necessary component of a relationship.  Why do I think these actions are so important?  Because when you love somebody, you shouldn’t be focused on yourself all the time.  Yes, it’s important that you have “me time” where you take care of yourself, but it’s just as important that you let you partner know how you feel.  And I’m not just talking about women here…men need to know these things too!  

You might not agree, and that’s ok.  I’m simply sharing what works for your favorite southern couple!  It’s our opinion that a function of a great couple is that both partners are willing to give up everything for the other, and that the other wouldn’t dare take everything from them.  Good luck in showing your appreciation!

Questions or comments?  Feel free to leave a comment, or ask a question about relationships!  I’ll try to answer it to the best of my ability!

The first website is called The Breast Cancer Site.  It is an interesting way to help those in need, but basically, you click the button (you can click once a day) and after a certain number of clicks (roughly 45,000) it donates a free mammogram to women in need across the country.  It is a for profit business, but is also supported by corporate sponsorship, so check it out and click the button, since you could save a life with that click.  Think it’s too good to be true?  Verify it here!

Another website is called liv.com.  It is a breast cancer awareness website that lists resources for women to get free or low cost mammograms.  The United States Center for Disease Control’s National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program (NBCCEDP) is one resource you can use to get access to these low cost of free screenings.  Check out their website here.  Other websites listed on liv.com offering help to get screened on the cheap are The National Cancer Institute (supported by the U.S. Government), the American Cancer Society (the blue box in the middle right of the page “Find ACS in Your Community” is where you want to go.  You’ll need your zip code.  They can tell you what resources are available in your area.) and The American Breast Cancer Foundation’s Key to Life Breast Cancer Screening Assistance Program.  This last resource doesn’t have a website, but you can call them at 877-539-2543 to enroll in their program which provides financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured women and men for breast cancer testing.  If none of these suit your needs, call your local hospital and ask to speak to a social worker.  They are the hospital contact that will be aware of any free or low cost mammogram/cancer screenings in your area. 

Breast cancer won’t go away on it’s own.  The faster they catch it, the better your chances.  If my mom hadn’t been diligent in her screenings, I might have lost her, and that isn’t something I like to think about.  So you’re busy with kids and career.  It doesn’t matter, because you have to take care of yourself, no matter what is going on!  Think about it…if you don’t take care of yourself, who will take care of your priorities (kids etc.) when you’re gone?

Celebrities look like they lead a very glamorous life.  They have fancy clothes, nice cars and a whole host of other very expensive possessions.  They look like personal trainers and never seem to age.     That is their reality.  It is not, however, reality for the majority of us.  Some of us think we should have (or try to have) the same things/lifestyle as celebrities, but in my opinion, that is not the case.  These celebrities make hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars every year, and can afford fancy cars, mansions and expensive purses.  They can afford personal trainers for hours a day, five days a week.  They can afford all the expensive creams and lotions that keep you looking youthful (or the more expensive counterpart, plastic surgery).  They are not limited by an average salary, like we are.

Even though we know they are celebrities, and know they make many times more money than we do, we haven’t been able to separate in our mind that they have access to a lot more monetary funds than we do.  So we buy things.  Generally, we buy these things on credit, because as I’ve already stated, we don’t have the cash to pay for it ourselves.  This is how, one day, people wake up and find themselves thousands of dollars in debt, and on the verge of bankruptcy.

How do you avoid falling into debt?  Well, as we’ve always stated, you need a budget, a plan and the determination to stay within the limits of the budget you created.  If you just spend less than you make, you won’t go into debt (don’t forget to budget for savings, so you pay yourself later).  Do not think it’s normal to buy $10,000 purses and $200 an ounce face cream if you make $60,000 a year.  If you want a special, expensive handbag, save up and pay cash for it.  If you purchased it on a credit card, it doesn’t have the same status as the one on your favorite celeb’s arm, because they paid cash (or debit equivalent etc.), and therefore, actually earned the status that the bag is supposed to convey.  Live within your means and be happy with what you have.

Your first option, of course, is to save up throughout the year (or what time you have remaining before the holidays).  It’s not that hard to amass a nice little sum to spend on your loved ones if you plan and budget.  Saving only $10 a week amounts up to $520 in a year…now, while that isn’t enough to buy everyone a new car, you can certainly do something nice with that amount.  Want to spend more?  Save more!  The trick is in deciding on what you usually spend and saving that amount throughout the year!  If you didn’t save up for it, and don’t have the disposable income, then you should look into other forms of gifts, because no one needs the stress of credit card debt, and the certainly don’t need to go into debt to buy presents for other people.  And, I’ll tell you a secret…your friends and family don’t want you to go into debt to buy them a present!

If the first option won’t work for you, you’re not out of luck, because you can always give the gift of your time or experience!  Granted, it’s not as glamorous as a new T.V., but giving the gift of your time is still special, ans still shows that you care enough (maybe more) to do something nice for your friends and relatives during the holidays.  Some good options?  Well, you could offer up babysitting services, cook dinner etc. for busy working parents.  That kind of stuff not your thing?  Well, figure out what you’re good at, or what your hobby is, and offer that service to your friends and family!  Let’s say you’re a masseuse…you could offer some of your friends and family a complimentary 30 minute massage as a gift!  No one would turn that down! You just need to be creative.

I’m sure I will revisit this topic as the holiday season draws near, because honestly, it irks my nerves that so many people cannot plan for the holiday season!  Whatever your financial situation is, it boils down to this: If you have the cash saved up or on hand, by all means, spend it on loved ones as you wish, but if you don’t have the cash, give the gift of your time or don’t buy gifts at all, since the last thing anyone needs is more credit card debt!

Staying in for the day/night can be a great (and cheap) way to rest and relax.  If you’re single, it will be easy to make this happen…if you’re married (with kids?) you just have to be a little more creative.  Think of what your favorite things to do at home are and make a list.  If you’re single, simply take the list and start doing whichever items feel right for the day.  Maybe it’s a bubblebath, or drinking coffee on your back porch/deck, cuddling up by a fire or laying out in the sun…whichever it is, just do it.  Don’t worry about bills or friends or appointments, just have a fun and relaxing day.  If you’re attached to someone, this requires a little more effort.   If you have kids, find them a play date or a friend or family member that will watch them for a few hours, so they get to do something fun and you get a few hours off.  Now that the kids are taken care of, you and your spouse think of things that you can do together or independently that will be relaxing to you both.   For example, a leisurely lunch, drinking coffee together or any other hobbies you might have. 

Are you one of those people who don’t like to waste time on “leisurely” activities, and prefer to stay busy?  That’s OK, because staying in is ideal for you as well!  Sure, there are a million other places you could go and lots of other things you could be doing (jogging, biking, painting etc.), but if you stay home you can save money and be productive!  Make a list of the things that need to be done around your house (anything from cleaning out the garage to dusting the blinds…it all has to get done sometime) and start tackling them, one by one.  Not only are you staying busy, but you are also saving yourself money 2 different ways:  You aren’t going out, spending money, and you aren’t having to pay anyone to do what you have chosen to do around the house! 

When we stay in, we do a combination of both.  We talk in the morning over a leisurely breakfast, about what we’ll be doing that day…the fun stuff and the not so fun stuff.  He wants to tinker with his electronics and his computer programs, I want to lay out, take a bubble bath or read a book/magazine.  We do the fun stuff, then we tackle the projects that are “on deck” to be done.  I find these days to be a breath of fresh air.  We know ahead of time that we aren’t going anywhere that day, so there’s no pressure to get stuff done in a certain time frame or to look our best (ladies) etc.  We just move at our own pace and do what we can do, and even though we haven’t been out around town, we had a good day.

Try staying in if you want to save some money, or if you just want to spend more time with each other or on your own with no distractions/other people for a few hours.  It’s my opinion that staying in only became uncool because our society tells us that we should always be out having a good time spending money.  Probably because that is what celebrities are photographed doing.  It wasn’t too long ago that staying in was normal and going out was a treat.  Try and remember that the next time you feel you need to go out and buy something or go somewhere.

In general, men and women shop differently.  Men go into a store, go straight to the item they want to buy, and buy it.  Sometimes, they haggle for a deal, sometimes they don’t.  Once they make up their mind that they want something, often, they will buy it “on the spot” .   Most women do not shop this way.   When we go to the mall, we feel the need to hit every store in the joint to find the best deal.  But make no mistake, we will find the best deal!  We will hunt, dig and search through the entire building for what we want at the price we want.   Where  do we come together on this?  The women usually find  the deal and the men go close the deal/pick it up!  There are those couples (us included) that are able to shop together.  For our frequent readers, it will not surprise you that we have a system.  We alternate between stores that he wants to check out and stores I want to check out.  This way, we both are happy with the day’s activities!   If you can’t shop with your partner, that’s o.k.  Figure out a system that works for you and your spouse and go with it!

We’re different on savings too!  We women, being the emotional creatures we are, we like…security.  We like to have some savings, an emergency fund, in the bank.  Savings for a rainy day, a sunny day or any other day that a problem comes up.  It makes us a lot more comfortable as we go about our daily lives.  Men, on the other hand, like to be a little more risky.  They feel confident in their investments, even if those are in coffee bean futures or comic books (although some comics are worth quite a bit).  They don’t feel the need to have a “safety net” in the bank, and don’t understand why it’s so important to us.  Well, I’ve got news for all the men out there… just do the emergency fund.  It will make your life happier, because it will make your wife happier!  How did we solve this one?  We have an emergency fund. 

It’s our suggestion that you sit down and discuss your spending and saving habits.  Figure out what works and what doesn’t.  Communicate.  You’ve heard it a thousand times for a reason… it works!  It’s the backbone of our relationship, and you should make it a part of yours.  No couple can truly be happy with their financial situation if they don’t agree on how they do their finances.  Talk about yours now, so that money problems don’t become a part of your future!

While it’s true that I’m a “girly-girl”, and love pretty weddings and all that glitters, I do not believe that anyone should spend what they 1) don’t have and 2) haven’t budgeted for.  So when I read that the average cost of a wedding in 2005 was a little over $26,000, I wanted to fall in the floor (or the sand, as in this case)!  Are there people out there that can afford that?  Absolutely.  Can most of us? No way.  The report went on to say that a research firm had concluded that spending is likely to drop as much as 30% this year, and that 3 out of 4 brides are scaling back their spending.  Could it be that the recession has knocked some sense into some people? I hope so.  It is our opinion that starting off a marriage in debt (especially for a wedding…double especially if either the bride or groom doesn’t want to spend that much) is a terrible idea.  As a newlywed couple, you are getting used to each other, living together, each other’s habits, quirks etc.  You don’t need debt and money problems to go along with that!  It’s silly!

What’s the other reason to start off without debt?  How about, that most new couples want to buy a house, or pay off school loans or start a family.  There are lots of things you want to do when you get married, and ALL of them are easier if you don’t have any debt hanging over your head.  Look at it this way: Do your guests need fancy seat covers at the reception, or do you need a washer and dryer??  Do I want ostrich feathers in my centerpieces, or do my husband to be and I want a nice honeymoon?? Come one people, it’s not brain surgery. 

Weddings are supposed to be about 2 people in love.  It’s not about the guests, or your family, or your friends, or how fancy it is or how rich you look.  It’s about you and your spouse to be, celebrating how much you love each other and looking toward your future together.  And that, my friends, is easier to do without a credit card bill!

• Can You Plan Spontaneity - This is a recent post, but it’s a good one, and it’s one of our trademark tips for a successful lifestyle .  The post outlines how we have built spontaneity into our budget (which works quite well, I assure you), achieving both spontaneity (to have a little mystery about special outings, gifts etc.) and budget restraint (so you have so money to retire on one day).
• YOU are an emotional piggy bank -   This post has generated a lotof talk of the last few weeks.   You are an emotional piggy bank, taking in deposits and doling out payments from other people.  Just like a bank account or a piggy bank, you need to have more deposits coming in than payments going out for the system (i.e. you) to function.  People that drain too much from you, drain you, and you should spend time with them sparingly, if at all.  This, of course, is opposed to emotional boosts, who make lotsof deposits into your piggy bank.  You should spend as much time as possible around these special people.
• Never forget where you started… - This post is a reminder of why you got married or into a relationship with your spouse/significant other, and some tips on how to make it work better or keep it working wonderfully!
• Why your friends are costing you money, and what you can do to stop it! - This post is all about being friends with people who have a larger income than you and ways to avoid the pressure of spending too much money, or spending money that you don’t have when you hang out/spend time with them!
•   So, going to the gym is like budgeting my finances? - This post draws parallels between going to the gym and budgeting your finances.  Not only are there insights into better ways to budget your money, but there are also a few tips on going to the gym!  You can’t beat that!

So, those are the blog posts that we’d like for you to go back and take a second look at!  Hopefully, you will find some information that helps you along in your life, or reaffirms what you already have in practice!

“clips episode” of previous posts that are “must reads”

This website, called Healthcare Blue Book, is a free service that provides fair price information to people for services or products for patients that pay with cash. The amount is what many health care providers accept from insurance companies as “payment in full”.

People generally can’t figure out how much services cost anyway, since it’s not like doctors make a habit of publishing their price list (which in my opinion is the REAL crime. Incidentally, my doctor actually does do that…he’s pretty awesome!). And if they do publish it, it’s the “billed charges” amount, which is higher than the amount they accept from insurance companies. Read more about this here.

Basically, you go to this website, type in a product or a procedure that you need, along with your zip code, and it will tell you the reasonable price you should pay for that service in your area. Although this website is mainly for people who need to pay for their health care with cash, it is also a good way to be sure that your health care provider isn’t over-charging your insurance company. Now, you might want to sit there and say “who cares if the insurance company is paying too much”, but if they are paying too much, they will make up that money somewhere, and it will probably (eventually) come out of your pocket!

So, go to the website. Spend a few minutes taking it on a “test drive”. Bookmark the page. Hopefully, you won’t ever need it, but Jerrill and I believe in being prepared (those of you who read our posts often know this about us), and you should too!

We’ve all seen the T.V. shows where a child comes into a room and asks his father to go to a friend’s house, and the father says “no”. The child then goes to his mother and asks her the same question, to which she replies “sure”. This couple is not united, but they should be. Always backing up your spouse when interacting with your children will keep the confusion of the day (week, month etc.) to a minimum and will teach the child that they cannot “divide and conquer” their parents.

Being united when you are dealing with life’s other problems, like a friend who betrays you, a jerk behind a counter who tries to assert their “authority” or a family member who tries to come between you demonstrates your strength in tough situations and discourages the individual from these actions in the future. Staying positive, and giving and drawing strength from one another is what it’s all about…but in the end, it’s also nice to know that there is someone who loves you above all others, who “has your back” no matter what.

Something to remember the next time “friend drama” starts to come between you and your spouse, or your child tries to con his/her way into a new toy using the “divide and conquer” technique!

We figured it out though, or, at least we figured out one possible solution. We now have 2 “his and hers” Spontaneity envelopes built into the budget. Now, I know that doesn’t sound spontaneous, but keep reading. We have set up a “her spontaneous envelope” and a “his spontaneous envelope” that will be funded from our respective “mad money” envelopes. This money will build up over time, and when the other person decides to do something spontaneous, they will have the funds to do it, and the recipient of the spontaneous gesture will not know when it’s happening! This might sound confusing, so I’ll give you an example.

Say I’m receiving an extra $10 a week in my “mad money” envelope (the money I can spend on whatever I want) that I can either spend or put into the “spontaneous for her” envelope. I start putting that extra $10 in the new envelope every week, and all the while, Jerrill is watching this money build up. After a month, he decides to take that $40 and buy me a big bunch of flowers, or a dinner out, or some nice chocolates etc. I’m surprised (there’s the spontaneity) because I didn’t know when it was going to happen, but it’s not going to hurt the budget because it was planned!

I don’t know if it will work, but we’ve started the process, and hopefully it will put a little spontaneity back into our (and possibly your) lives!

Well, when I was new to the social media seen 4-5 years ago, it looked a lot different then it does now, and more importantly, it was new. I didn’t foresee all of the crazy things that could come up as a result of being on there. I have since become much more aware of my privacy and have “locked down” my account in certain ways. Just today I ran across an article about how social media can go wrong. Below are a list of tips for protecting your information, based on my experience over the last few years:

• Remember that there are cameras everywhere. If you don’t want pictures that put you “in a bad light” on the Internet, be aware that almost everyone’s cell phones are cameras these days, and no one cares about YOUR privacy the way YOU do! Also, friendships end. If and when they do, the ex friend might not feel ashamed to publish those spring break (example) photos of you doing body shots!
• In the same “vein”, do not publish any photos or information that you wouldn’t want your faintest of acquaintances to know. If all of your connections or friends can view your information, then even that person you only had one class with in college can see it too!
• It’s not a good idea to become friends with co-workers or a boss on social media accounts where you publish information that is too private. Their opinions of you should be solely based on what they see of you at work and work functions. They don’t need to see you drunk and puking in a toilet (example)! If they request friendship on a social media site where you have private info, ignore it. If they notice that you didn’t accept it and ask why, simply tell them you have a policy of not mixing your work and personal lives. If you are already friends with them, remove them, and tell them of your “new” policy. If you want to connect with them on “business like” social media sites, I would say that is relatively safe.
• Don’t publish photos of friends that you wouldn’t want them to publish of you. That way, there is a good chance they will respect you and your reputation as well.

That’s it! Just remember, to be safe, you should go into your privacy settings and limit what certain people can see, or don’t put it on the web to begin with. Your privacy is special and sacred and you shouldn’t give it up easily.

The article Home Ownership Was Never a Road to Riches makes several good points regarding the myth of investing in a home. As Professor Christopher Mayer from Columbia Business School points out, home appreciation nationally has run about 1% above inflation over time. 1% over inflation is a worse return on an investment than some CD’s! What people saw in the late 90′s through 2006 or 2007 (depending on where you were in the country) was an oddity.

The value a person gets in owning a home is that they avoid paying rent! By owning a home, you get to build equity in your home, not build equity in your landlord’s rental property. However, when you buy a larger home than you need, like a McMansion, it is simply ridiculous. People think that it makes them look smart and rich to have a large home, but if all you have is a large mortgage, and nothing in the bank to back it up, you’re not rich OR smart, you’re house poor. Plus, with a higher mortgage for this large house also comes higher taxes and higher insurance. That’s why you should buy as much home as you need, but no more than that.

So, do yourself a favor and stop thinking that home ownership is a way to save for retirement. All it is is a way to avoid paying rent! You want to save for retirement? Then do it the right way, with investment tools such as Roth IRA’s, CD’s, mutual funds etc.

Questions about investing? Please leave a comment!

So today, I decided to make a point of telling you that working together is not only for times of crisis, but for every day, in every action. This will prepare you better for those times when the unexpected occurs. When you need to decide who is picking up the kids, there should be no drama. You both are responsible for them, so if one of you can’t do it, the other should, not because you have to, but because you want to help out, and work together. If you are trying to work on your household budget, and there isn’t enough money to go around, you shouldn’t refuse to give up your $6 a day coffee habit, or your mani/pedi’s, while your partner gives up every indulgence they have. You want to succeed together, you might have to make some sacrifices. These (and countless others) are every day occurrences where you can build up the skills that you can use in a crisis.

One crisis, for example, that a lot of people are going through right now is a job loss. If you or your partner have lost a job, you definitely quailify as being in a crisis! Now, are you working together? Are you sitting down together, deciding which activities can be cut out of your lives? Are you deciding which items in you budget can be scaled back or removed all together, until you are back on your feet? Or, are you blaming the partner who lost their job, feeling resentful of the burden they placed on you? If you are the latter, then this is your wake-up call! They did not lose their job because they wanted to, I assure you! Get rid of the negative feelings and decide that you are a team, and do whatever it takes TOGETHER to get through the tough times!

There are, of course, those people who get paid enough at their jobs that they don’t have to work with their spouse because they can pay for/hire out whatever they need. But keep in mind, if they stopped, and took the time from their busy life to notice, they would see just how unhappy life is, when you live with someone with whom you don’t communicate, work with or respect.

When you go out with your friends, the money adds up. For a friend that makes half of what you do, it adds up DOUBLE! You have to keep in mind when you pick a place to get together, that not everyone makes what you do. There will always be friends who make more and friends who make less, so you should choose places that have a price point that ALL of you can comfortably afford! And if you make less than some of your friends, meet up with them after dinner, just for the movie or drinks, so you can save money!

It’s not that you want to “profile” your friends, or that you “feel sorry” for them, you just want to make sure that while you’re having a good time, your friends aren’t cringing at the cost of the evening. So keep this warning in mind: The next time you choose the place, you could be adding to your friends financial problems!

All too often, when I am out somewhere, watching the T.V. or listening to the radio etc. I here people talking about how “so and so” got lucky and their company started making a ton of money, or they got a promotion, or paid off their house etc.
Really?? Did they get “lucky”, or is it more likely that they worked their butt off and “earned” that promotion, or saved up to pay off their house, or worked really hard and put blood, sweat and tears into building a good business? But when
someone loses their job, it’s the companies fault. When someone loses their house, it’s the banks fault. NO, it’s not! Why is it that we are “lucky” when we do something good, and “someone else is responsible” when we screw up??

The fact of the matter is, that we are all responsible for our own lives. The Declaration of Independence gives us all the freedom to succeed or fail based on our own merits, but when someone else succeeds where we fail, we don’t like it,
so we say they are lucky, and when someone screws up, everyone (including them) blames it on someone else because we all feel bad about the situation. What we need to do is understand that if we want to succeed, we have to work hard to get
there, and we shouldn’t take away someone else’s acheivement by saying they are lucky. If we fail, we need to work hard not to do it again, and not blame everyone BUT ourselves if it happens.

Happy Independence Day everyone. Make sure that this year you give people praise for their accomplishments, accept praise for your accomplishments, don’t blame anyone else for your screw ups and don’t let other people blame someone
else when they tell you their “bad luck” story. This Saturday, celebrate the fact that you have the right to succeed as much, or as little, as you want to!

The fact is, most of us are an emotional piggybank. There are both deposits and withdrawals made to the piggybank, and to stay on track with your piggybank, you need to keep the “in-flow” equal to or greater than the “out-flow”. So, how do you keep the in-flow up? By surrounding yourself with the right type of people.

There are people in the world who are emotional drains. They are negative about other people, about themselves and about the world. They bring our mood and our spirit down and we feel worse after we have been around them. These people TAKE from our emotional piggybank. They are doing nothing for you emotionally except wearing down your spirit and your nerves. Now, they probably do not know that they are emotional drains to their friends and family, and it’s not like they have intentions of being this way…they just are.

The other side of the spectrum is the person who is an emotional boost to your life. They are the people who brighten your day. They are positive about other people and about the world in general. You leave their presence just as happy, if not happier, than when you arrived! These people GIVE to our emotional piggybank.

A person who once was a boost can become a drain if they have had something bad happen in their life and an emotional drain can become a boost if their life changes for the better. Hopefully, the drains in your life will eventually become a boost, but don’t count on it. Some people will always be a drain. It is your choice whether you keep them in your life.

In theory, you would do well not to have any emotional withdrawals from your piggybank at all. I have people in my life from each category, and being around those who deposit in my piggybank is a lot easier than being around those who make withdrawals. Your goal, like mine, should be to surround yourself with more emotional boosts than emotional drains so that your emotional piggybank is overflowing with deposits, and not impacted by the negativity of others.

When we set goals for ourselves, it’s easy to get bogged down in the details of that goal. We get lost and sidetracked…this is how people “fall off the wagon”. When you focus on overcoming each small problem, however, at the end of the journey you have accomplished your goal! This is a great way to approach budgeting and paying off debt! As an example, if you have 3 credit cards, and each has $1000 in debt on them, don’t focus on the $3000 you have to pay off, focus on the $1000 you have to pay off! When that card is paid off, focus on the next card etc. until you have paid them all off and achieved your goal! With this approach, you don’t become overwhelmed and derail yourself. When you focus on winning these small victories another crucial part to achieving your goals falls into place: Positive reinforcement. When you pay off that first $1000 credit card from the example above, you are ECSTATIC! You want to jump for joy! That reinforcement simply makes you want to stay on track and keep working toward your goal.

That’s it! Just focus on overcoming the small obstacles as they appear to achieve your goal and you’ll be fine! Take the positive reinforcement you get from overcoming them (and wherever else you can get it, i.e. a spouse) and use it to motivate you even more, so that the goal is easily attainable!

• Miscommunications – In my opinion, communication is the number one, absolutely most important part of any marriage, period. Why is that? Because MIScommunications are a major cause of arguements. Think about it. Your spouse says something to you and it sounds hateful. Instead of being hateful back to them, ask them if anything is wrong! You do love them, remember? Maybe you said something to hurt their feelings. Maybe they had a tough day at work. Whatever the case, they love you too, and wouldn’t be snapping at you without a reason! They are MIS-communicating their feelings, and you are about to “stir the pot”! Instead, sit down as a couple and discuss what happened. If you hurt their feelings, apologize! Not an unfeeling “oh, I’M sorry YOUR feelings are hurt” apology, but a “wow, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings…I didn’t mean to do that” kind of apology. I mean, you didn’t intend to hurt their feelings, did you? Did they have a bad day at work? Ask them to tell you about it, which helps relieve their stress. At the end, if the comment they made to you was hurtful, tell them so, and ask them to be careful in letting their work affect how they speak to you. The more you communicate, the better you will understand each other!
• Don’t Yell! – In a related topic, why are you yelling at each other? Are you not capable of controlling your anger? Do you not have to control yourself at work when you’re angry? So why do you think you should yell at home? Yelling at someone demonstrates that you can’t logically discuss a problem and tells them that all you care about is “winning” the arguement…let me tell you a secret…you can’t win an arguement by yelling, all you do is make the other person decide it isn’t worth the effort to try to communicate with you. That isn’t a win…it’s a failed relationship, because if they give up on communicating with you, the 2 of you will not last as a couple!
• You both have a veto – In my house, we put bills/laws up to be passed or vetoed, just like the White House. For example, if I want chicken and he wants pasta, he can veto my chicken and suggest pasta. If he wants a big screen TV, I can veto it. If I want to move to Alabama, he can veto that. This goes on til we agree. It’s not important what the final decision is, but rather that we made it together and were both heard in the process.
• Don’t forget to show respect – This is a problem that a lot of marriages have. We tend to focus on oursleves and what we are doing for the family so much that we forget to show respect for our partner. You should treat you spouse as though they are the most important person/thing in your life, because, frankly, they should be.
• You both have to be on the same plan – It doesn’t matter what plan you’re on (although I could suggest a couple) as long as you’re on the same plan! If one of you isn’t ready for children, the other should not be decorating a nursery! Working together (are you seeing the trend) and following a plan to acheive your goals works so much better than 2 people trying to acheive their own goals separately, but in the same house. Your actions will affect the other persons life! I’m likely to offend some people here, but I beleive that when you become “man and wife” you become one. That means no his and hers, that means ours! Don’t try to define what belongs to whom and who pays what bills! And things like separate checking accounts only promote division in the marriage!
• Ackknowledge each others efforts/accomplishments – Last time I checked, it feels good to be praised, and everyone likes it. So then, wouldn’t it stand to reason that when your spouse accomplishs something (even something small) you should praise them? And don’t think you have to spend thousands of dollars to do so! The praise should be commiserate with the deed. It’s not what type of praise you’re giving, it’s the fact that you are giving praise!
• Your marriage is sacred, and your children need to know/see that - This is another topic that will likely upset some people, but in my house, the marriage comes first. I do not have children yet, but when I do (which will be soon), I plan to make sure that my children know that I love them with all my heart…but that mommy and daddys’ relationship comes before their plethora of extra cirricular activities. Date nights are a must. Family nights are a must. Mommy and daddy being in love and wanting to do things together teaches healthy relationships to the children, and I think we can all agree that children these days need examples of strong, loving relationships!

So, I say to never forget where you started…that happy in love, sweet, caring, respectful and appreciative couple you were in the beginning can continue to old age if you try! I am sure that I have left out other parts to a happy marriage, but this will get you started in the right direction! If you have specific questions, feel free to leave a comment!

Most of us at some point in our lives have been in the position of being friends with someone who either has more money than us or at least spends like they have more money than us (this is bad, of course, cause they are spending money they don’t have). They are constantly wanting to go out to new places. Ladies want to go shopping at expensive boutiques, get massages or mani/pedis etc. Men want to go play golf at expensive courses, watch football, basketball or baseball games in person. Unfortunately, they don’t realize what kind of effect this has on their friends who make less money or don’t want to spend a lot of money. They are costing YOU money! You agree to go out, and then they pick a very expensive restaurant, where you end up spending $75 on 2 glasses of wine and a salad. Now, as much as you value their friendship, and as much as you love spending time with them, you dread their phonecall/text because of the impending monetary dilemma.

So, how do you stop them from costing you more money in the future? Well, this is not a popular way to do it, but doing things the right way is rarely popular…tell them you’re broke! Tell them you don’t have the money to go out. You might feel uncomfortable doing this, but when your checking account starts to recover, I have a feeling that you’ll be happy! I know that it feels weird to say something like that. To be honest, the first couple of times we said it when we were getting out of debt I was wholly embarrassed. But then, I started to notice how people stopped expecting me to go along with their expensive plans, and started to ask what I wanted to do. This gave me the option of saying “yes” to going out, but “no” to the expensive stuff!

Saying “I’m broke” not your thing? Well, luckily, “we can’t afford it right now”, “money is tight right now” and “we’re trying to save more money these days, can we choose a less expensive to do?” all have the same effect. They all tell your over-spending friend to back off on the luxury when you hang out together. If you just say “no”, that opens the door for them to pressure you on the subject, where you might cave in. Telling them that you don’t have the money usually makes the friend conclude that further discussion is out of the question.

Hopefully, this will set you on the right track with your friends. It’s all about personal responsibility. Remember, it is grown up to take control of your finances and childish to let others decide what you spend your money on!

Well, the first thing I did was to set up a chart of the week on the computer (geeky, I know, but it works!) so that I could plug in the information easier. It has the date, day of the week, activity/activities and the estimated cost of each days activities. This helps you keep track of your activity options, makes sure you know what you are spending (or it keeps you from spending too much) and makes sure that you have enough activities lined up for the week. Now obviously, you want some flexible time in their for the days that you just decide to stay in and goof off, but I always think it is better to be over-prepared than under-prepared!

Next, I did some research to find out what to do in my area for little or no money. After some digging I found quite a few things to do in my area, and started to choose the activities that I thought would be fun for Jerrill and I. Coupling the new ideas with other ideas that I had on my own and we had a very nice list of things to do. For example, I intend for us to go to a wine tasting one day next week. Now, for those of you that don’t know, central Kentucky was the site of the first commercial vineyard in the United States! We have several vinyards within driving distance, and have visited one prior to this (for Valentine’s Day 08…my idea, and we had a great time) but I am looking forward to visiting all of them over time! Other things on the list: Going for a picnic, outdoor games, board game night with milkshakes, go to our local Arboretum to walk around and look at plants, and of course, we will be going to see Night at the Museum #2 and Terminator Salvation. There are many other things on the list, but you get the idea.

Now, that I have decided on my activities for the week, I then get to research them and “guesstimate” the costs associated. I come up with figures for the activities, and total them up. I then take that total and compare it with the amount of money I have to spend that week. Now, as I said in the post on March 6th, everyone has a little money for a staycation, because you have your normal weekly amount to spend. So, if you normally have $150 a week to spend on groceries, gas and recreation (dining out, drinks, movies etc.) then you still have that amount…you can simply repurpose some of it! For example, instead of buying your “normal” groceries, buy some things on the cheap so that you can go out to a movie, or buy steaks to grill out, or both! It’s all about being creative to work within your means!

So, the chart/list would look something like this:

• May 25th, Monday – Picnic at the park – Cost $10 (for groceries)
• May 26th, Tuesday – Nature walk at the Arboretum – Cost Free!!

I know that because of the economy a lot of people are opting to stay home this year, so I hope that this will help you better plan for your staycations, so you can more thoroughly enjoy them!

***A note to our readers: We believe that family time is just as important as proper money management to leading and living a successful life, so the blog may or may not be written next week. Honestly, it depends on whether or not I find the time to write in between the fun! I might post photos of the activities we are doing instead, but I haven’t decided. Don’t despair! I’ll be back to it the following week!

Where do you start? What should you be doing? Well, the best advice I can give you is to start saving as early as you can. You should be saving for your child’s education as soon as you are out of debt (with the exception of your house, if need be) and have your 3-6 months emergency fund in place. I would prefer that you are contributing to a retirement plan as well, since we don’t want to shortchange you in retirement to fund your child’s college. Now, when I say as soon as you can, those of you with high school aged children shouldn’t panic. You still have time to save, but your saving strategy might have to be more aggressive.

So how much should you save? Well, that amount can vary greatly, since the cost of a state university is significantly less than that of a private college (i.e. Harvard or Princeton). Each child’s monetary needs will be different for their education, and each parents income and timeframe are different for saving. So, it really depends on how much extra you have out of each paycheck and how long you have to save. You should sit down and look at your budget and figure up how much you have left over each month. You might figure out that you want to save for the Harvards and Princetons of the country, but the reality is that it isn’t feasable. I guess what I am trying to say is that you shouldn’t worry about “how much you should save”, but rather focus on saving what you can and put all your energy into getting scholarships and grants to make up the differnce if need be.

We are planning on trying to start a family this year, and we have discussed this situation at length (no one can say we aren’t planners, hehe) and we have agreed that we would make every effort to save enough to cover 4 years of tuition, books and living expenses at an in-state university. If the child wants to go to a more costly private school or an out-of-state university, we will do what we can.

There are many different tools out there to help you in your quest to save for your child’s college expenses. There are websites like ours, that offer advice in many different areas of your financial life, and there are websites that specialize in 1 area of your finances. A great website I found is called Savingforcollege.com It helps you sort out where to put your money and has tools like calculators that can be tailored to your particular situation. For example, if your child is 6 years old, and you need to save for 12 years and then pay for 4 years at a university that costs $ 42,399 (or some other random amount) a year, their calculator can help you figure out what you need to save to get there. It also has a lot of information about the 2 main types of accounts to put your money in: a Coverdell ESA (Education Savings Account) and a 529 savings plan. Both of these plans have advantages and disadvantages, so you should read the information here and here and compare them to see which one suits your needs. Clark Howard’s website is another great place to check out advice on choosing the correct 529 savings plan that works for you, and why you might want one from a different state then the one you live in!

Overall, as parents you have lots of free tools out there to help uncomplicate the process of saving for college. Use the information we have provided here, use the website we talked about earlier and the tools it provides, then look at your budget and see what you can afford. As I said before, the name of this “game” is to start as early as you can. But don’t let the process overwhelm you. Parents have enough to worry about on a day to day basis without getting bogged down in where to put college money. Find someone that is smarter than you on the subject, and get them to help you!

A few weeks ago, I posted an entry about swap meets. Now, not everyone is going to want to have a swap meet. Maybe you’re a jewelry lover who saves up extra money by brown-bagging your lunch so that you don’t HAVE to skip buying jewelry from your favorite retailer! Maybe you don’t shop at membership club stores because you clip coupons so well that when you go to your local supermarket, they end up owing you money! Maybe you work a few extra hours every week so that you CAN take your family out for dinner, and not worry that it will break the bank.

So, if you see a tip posted that you think doesn’t apply to you, I want you to do 2 things. First, ask yourself if you are SURE that it cannot be applied to you. Remember the jewelry lover who doesn’t want to do swap meets? Well, maybe she should rethink her decision. Maybe the swap meet can help her switch up old jewelry she has stopped wearing for new. And maybe, it’s more then just a business transaction..maybe it’s also about getting together with friends and having a good time. Now, if you are absolutely certain that this tip cannot be applied to you, then you need to understand that their are people who CAN use this tip, and if you know anyone that you think might be interested, send them to our website. Let’s face it, we are all always learning new tricks to live better!

I cannot begin to stress how important it is for you to track your progress with your personal finances. Knowing what is going on in your bank account on a weekly/monthly basis helps keep you yourself “in check” so to speak. I know a lot of people who bounce checks/overdraft simply because they don’t pay close enough attention to how much money they have and what they have spent that week/month. So, keep your receipts and use them to track what you spend! Know how much money you have that week, and don’t spend more than that. Go to the ATM and take out some money if you have to and pay for everything that week (and the following weeks) in cash, so that you don’t overspend.

Tracking your progress doesn’t just keep you from overspending, but it shows you where you might be able to cut back and save some money. If every week, you set aside $200 for groceries, but for the last month you have only spent on average arounnd $150 each week in groceries, then you should change your budgeted amount to $150 and either apply that money to another bill that needs to be paid, or add it to the money that you put into your savings. In this example, tracking your progress is effectively the same as adding income, since keeping a close eye on your money helped you spend $50 less a week! In the end, it pays (literally) to watch your money.

Combine the list of financial goals and financial responsibilities and assign priorities to each of them. You have to decide if Christmas gifts are more important then paying down debt, and if that $6 coffee is more important then some monthly bill or credit card payment etc. Every item has to be arranged in a list of most important to least important (you can assign numbers next to each if you like). A few tips here: Your rent/mortgage payment, food, electricity and water should top the list as most important financial responsibilities, since you have to have a safe, warm place to live, with running water and food.

Now, add all of your expenses together. If your expenses total more than your income, then you have a problem. That means that every month, you (just like countless others) have been spending more money then you make, and are accruing debt. Now, don’t get discouraged if your expenses exceed your income. You simply need to focus on cleaning up the mess. If it looks overwhelming, remember, it doesn’t matter how bad the problem is, you just take it one step at a time. So, here is what you do: if your expenses total more than your income, remove expenses from the list, one by one, until the total expenses does NOT exceed your income. The first thing to go should be anything that resembles extravagance, and yes, that includes $6 coffee.

Another choice is to add income. If you want to keep all of your expenses on the list, then you might need to figure out a way to make extra money. A paper route? Pizza delivery? If you’re a teacher, you can pick up club activities at school, which pay extra. Be creative. If keeping all the “stuff” you’ve accumulated (and the debt that goes with it) is important to you, then you need to increase your income til it matches your list of expenses.

If your list of expenses did not exceed your income, congratulations! You are at a very good starting point! Now look at yout financial goals, and determine which of them are and are not being met. Are you covering all of your expenses but not saving anything and you want to? Then you have some work to do as well.

Next week, we will discuss “how to get there faster”!

Since today is April 15th, “Tax Day”, I wanted to share some information with our readers. There are 2 main sides to the “tax situation” for the average person…taxes that we pay in, and what the government does with the revenue (taxes) it collects. I will only be focusing on income taxes for today’s discussion, although there are many other ways the government collects revenue (sales tax as an example).

Every year, people pay their income tax out of every paycheck, and look forward to their “big, fat tax refund”, which is one of the worst things a person can do! First, a person elects to pay their income tax throughout the year (and usually claim dependents so that more is taken out) but they do not have to. When you pay all that money to the government throughout the year, you are giving them an INTEREST FREE LOAN! That “big, fat tax refund” is them giving you back YOUR money, that they have used all year, without paying you a dime! You should adjust your taxes accordingly, so that you are not receiving a large refund every year…keep more of your income throughout the year and use it to help you with your monthly bills, or save it, so that you, and not the government, are earning interest on your money!

Now, for the revenue the government collects…what are they spending it on? Are they using it all, or saving some? If they’re using it all, are they spending more than they have? Well, they are all good questions, and I found some interesting information in the article, Uncle Sam won’t make ends meet on CNNMoney.com. Clearly, the government is spending our money, and lots of it. The budget has rarely been balanced in the last 40 years, and this year is no different. The whole country was up in arms over the previous administrations record breaking budget deficit of $455 billion dollars, but the current deficit is on track for 3 times that number, at $1.67 TRILLION dollars. Hold onto your hats, cause this is going to be a bumpy ride! So, what are they spending the money on? Well, as the graph on the page from the link above indicates, the 4 major spending areas are the new T.A.R.P. Program (isn’t that fun) at $290 Billion, Defense at $317 Billion, Social Security at $321 Billion and OTHER at $546 Billion. The other spending areas are Medicare, Medicaid, net interest on public debt and GSE payments…but T.A.R.P., Defense, Social Security and OTHER and the big spenders. Now, the problem with all this spending is that as a nation, we are in a recession. We are paying in less money (as the article indicates) in taxes because a lot of us are out of work…so, they are spending $1.94 TRILLION and only taking in $986 BILLION! That is almost TWICE the money we’re giving them! On top of that, the proposed budget is weighing in at $3.5 TRILLION dollars, and we are still paying the same…and they wonder how we get into trouble. If individuals ran their finances like that, they would ALL be bankrupt.

So, what should you be doing? Don’t look forward to big “refunds” and instead, use this money throughout the year to better YOUR finances. Pay attention to what the government is doing! They are not only spending ALL the money we are giving them, but they are spending double that amount, while we “common folk” are in a recession. Considering that 24% of people think the government has it’s own money (meaning they don’t get it from the taxpayers…ridiculous I know…find this info at Good Government) we have not been as diligent as we should be about where our tax dollars go, and we should, because a government that is ignored by its people can do what it wants without any accountability.

Brief summary: Financial literacy organizations aim to teach young people about finance and credit before they get into debt.

We hear in the news that times are tough. Depending on where we live around the country we may even be experiencing some of the pain first hand. And while there are some out there doing a lot better than the news would lead you to believe, there are others that are going through nothing less than their own personal, financial apocalypse.

Unfortunately, by the time someone’s financial problems make the news, it’s probably too late for them to spare themselves some pain through personal finance education. They are already enrolled in the school of hard knocks.

So what happened? We all know that grandma’s way of handling money was quite different that what we see from the jet-setting, prime-time TV show characters (and, dare I say, reality TV stars?). When did we lose the “use what you have, live within your means, and pay with cash” principals our parents were raised on? We really are victims of our parent’s success. For two generations, since the Great Depression, times have been really good. Unfortunately, we all got caught up in the excitement of flush times, never thinking they would end, and made the critical mistake of forgetting something- to hold a little something back in case the good times ended. However, in all likelihood there was never a friend or loved one standing there beside us, congratulating us on our successes while gently reminding us that we should save… just in case. We certainly didn’t get that from TV, news, movies, magazines, or even the government!

The message has been that we need to increase “consumer spending” to keep the good times rolling. The government encouraged universal home ownership, and while we all want everyone to have a good, safe home, we all know that not everyone is cut out to be a home owner. In one sense the sub-prime crisis facing the global financial system can be considered the result of a failed government policy to combat homelessness (or maybe just renters…). Another take is that the evil banks took advantage of the little guy and forced him to sign his already battered credit score away at the point of a pen. Others point the finger to the irresponsible borrowers (home buyers, credit card holders, and people in debt to loan sharks…) for signing up for the ride. The truth is somewhere in between all these. We just had a big money party, and now we’re waking up with the hangover.

And all the while, nobody was telling us that party would end. Nobody would have listened if there were. But now things are changing! People are waking up, rubbing their heads and pocket books, and are demanding to know who could have averted the crisis. They want to know how they could have seen it coming. And then they think back to grandma and how she never had anything fancy, but seemed to have everything she needed. And then the realization comes… “If only I had done things differently…”

Well, now there are plenty of messages out there, like ours, promoting personal responsibility and personal finance education. In this transcript of a radio story that aired on Voice of America, we hear that people are out there taking high school and college students by the ear, so to speak, and teaching them about the true cost of debt, including credit cards and student loans. They are trying to reduce the number of students who file for graduation and their bankruptcy at the same time. They are getting the point across that getting a college degree may just not be worth the student loans, if the income after graduation cannot pay the loans back for decades. They are letting people know that employers are looking at credit histories when making hiring decisions and that some jobs, like law enforcement, are out of reach to those with a history of bad financial decisions.

Wish your kids, “Happy National Financial Literacy Month!” And take them to the Financial Literacy Month website, put up by Money Management International. Each day of April, you can take a step toward financial well being, while setting a good example for your children. If you are the kid, ask your parents to work through the site with you, and maybe you’ll teach your parents a thing or two.

There is no such thing as perfect personal finance. You just need to get the education for yourself that you didn’t get elsewhere. It’s not something you can get finished within a day, a month, or even a year. It only takes small positive steps toward a goal over the long term to make a big difference. Learn a little bit today. Practice it often. You will be rewarded for a lifetime.

Voice of America is a multimedia international broadcasting service that broadcasts approximately 1,500 hours of news, information, educational, and cultural programming every week to an estimated worldwide audience of 134 million people. It hopes to teach the world American English and promote a positive view of the United States of America.

Making a “good budget” is different than simply making a “budget”. Anyone can write down their income and expenses, but a good budget is more than that. A good budget starts off by the person making a list of financial goals. Do you want to save more? Pay down debt (mortgage, credit cards, student loans…)? Save for retirement, vacations or Christmas/holidays? Give more to charity? Once you have decided which of these apply to you, write them down.

Next, you need to figure out where you are. Make a list of financial responsibilities over as long a term as possible, in as much detail as possible, including:

• take home pay
• weekly bills (groceries, gasoline/bus fare etc.)
• monthly bills (electric, water, cable, phone etc.)
• annual bills (tax prep, property taxes)
• money spent going out (movies, dinner, drinks etc.)
• money spent on gifts (birthdays etc.)
• estimated medical expenses (including dental)
• child care expenses (babysitter, day care etc.)
• car payments (don’t forget car insurance!)
• house payments (don’t forget mortgage insurance!)
• minimum payments due on credit cards
• alimony / child support
• personal spending money
• clothing expenses (for everyone in the household)

Don’t forget that the more precise you are, the better your budget will be when it is finished. This part of the process will be time consuming, and you should try not to guess at an amount unless you are left no other option. You should be able to locate this information by going through previous bills and receipts. As an example, you should take all of your electric bills for the previous year (if you don’t have these, use what you do have), add them up and divide by the number of bills…this will give you your average monthly electric bill. Now, do the same for any other weekly and monthly bills where you need to know the average spent in that particular time frame.

At this point, you should have a good idea of your monetary needs for a weekly/monthly basis.

Next Wednesday, we will discuss what to do with this information from this point. Good luck with your information gathering!

One of the employees at my gym told me last week “You know, working out is the only time in your life that it’s OK to fail, because it means you tried your hardest”. Well, I happen to think she’s right about that statement and I think the principle applies to your finances as well. Most people, I think, would agree that as a nation we could do better at both working out and balancing our budget. Personally, I think $6 coffee has been a huge detriment to both. We eat too much, we spend to much. We need to work out with great intensity, and carry that drive over to our finances. When you go to the gym, you focus on what you are doing (otherwise you might drop something/fall off something and hurt yourself), but when you do your finances, are you focused? Or, more likely, do you have the TV or radio on? Your budget/finances will only work for you if you work for them…turn that TV off so you can pay attention! Do the absolute BEST you can with your money, and if you fail, you are probably still better off than most people!

Most people who go to the gym plan out what they are going to do in advance. they decide which muscle group they want to work, which machines they will use and whether or not they will do cardio that day. Your approach to your budget should be the same. You should be thinking about it ahead of time. You should be planning out if you will pay the bills first, or balance the checkbook with the weeks receipts. Your yearly budget should take even more planning than that. You should have things written down and have a game plan (look for next weeks blog to learn how to create a simple budget) of what you think that years monetary needs will be.If you take the time to plan out your trip to the gym, do yourself a favor, and do the same with your money. You’ll feel better while you are at the gym if you aren’t worried about the state of your money!

People who go to the gym know you can’t just go once a week and expect fabulous results. So why then, do people only do bills once or twice a month and think that is enough? It is important for you to pay attention to where your money is going at least once a week, preferably twice a week. Most people don’t use cash anymore (which is a real problem, cause we spend it without thinking about it now), and so we end up with a bunch of receipts from our debit card (if we were diligent enough to get a receipt in the first place) at the end of the month. This is equivalent to going to the gym irregularly and using random equipment in the wrong way…you’re just hurting yourself at this point! So, know that you have to go to the gym 3 times (or more) a week to get results. Know that you have to pay attention to your finances weekly (at least) to keep your budget balanced and peace of mind.

I like to believe that a person shouldn’t let their life happen to them, they should happen to their life. If something is going on around you that you don’t like, do something about it. You aren’t powerless. The gym and you finances are the same. People who go to the gym see that their body is not where they want it to be and they are doing something about it. It is my goal to help people realize that they need to do something about their personal finances, and help them achieve it!

Credit card companies let you use their credit, otherwise known as their money, in exchange for high Annual Percentage Rates and tricky terms and conditions. In reality, they want you to mess up and pay late. They want you to get the cash advance and hope you don’t notice that the cash advance APR is higher (in most cases) than your regular rate for purchases. Why? It’s their BUSINESS to make money off of you, and you don’t care, because they make it easy for you to get things! If you have $1000 in credit card debt at an interest rate of 12%, making payments of $25 (standard minimum payment on this much debt) a month, it will take you 51 months to pay that off!! That turns out to be $1275 total…and it just goes up from there. $10,000 in debt at 12% with a payment of $150 a month takes 110 months, or 9 1/2 YEARS to pay off. You will pay a total of $16,500 to the credit card company. I don’t think anyone should be happy with that arrangement. Wouldn’t it just be easier to save up for it?

Let’s face it…a lot of people in this country are materialistic. The “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality that all of us have succumb to at some point in time keeps us begging for more credit from the credit card gods. We want things…handbags, tools, shoes, HOUSES (hello people who bought more house than they could afford) and who knows what else. So I ask again…why do you want a credit card? Well, if you can’t say that you pay off your credit card EVERY month, and if you can’t say that you have an emergency fund and don’t NEED the credit card, then you shouldn’t have one. Using credit cards because you can’t afford to pay cash for what you want is a bad idea. You should save up to buy items that are not in your budget. Credit cards are NOT a supplemental income. They are not a way for you to expand your lifestyle, and when a person uses credit cards as supplemental income it almost always comes back to haunt them.

A second job is a great way to get out of debt in a hurry. There are all sorts of side jobs that a person can pick up to make extra money. As a school teacher, you can coach one of the sports teams,monitor detention or head up one of the clubs at school…you do get paid extra for that, you know! Not a teacher? Okay, well, if you have a lawn mower, then you are already in business…just go around your neighborhood and mow the lawns of your neighbors. You can make quite a bit of money in one summer just by mowing lawns. Akin to lawn mowing is pressure washing. Pressure washing peoples homes, driveways and fences (in any combination) is a VERY lucrative business. A good pressure washer only costs around $500, and you can make that back in your first job…a word to the wise though: Know what you are doing with a pressure washer, otherwise you can damage someones property, and then you’ll be paying THEM! Not skilled at mowing lawns or pressure washers? How about being an umpire for a community parks and recreation league? Not your cup of tea? That’s ok, because you can go get a job as a delivery driver…they make good money (mostly in tips)and have flexible hours!

If none of those suggestions sounded good to you, then figure out what you are good at, and go make some money from it. Say you are a computer programmer…then find some contract work to bring in extra money. The possibilities are limitless…you just have to remember that it isn’t swallowing your pride to get a second job…There is MORE pride to be had in taking care of your family!

So, all in all, what I want you to take away from this is that you shouldn’t be hopeless when it comes to getting out of debt. Cutting back on spending and cutting costs is only one side of it…some people need more income! So, figure out what you can do to increase your income, and do it! Besides, mowing lawns gives you a tan and a mini workout…how can that be bad?

A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Real Estate Agent, Nicole Maxwell, has a blog that I’m following, that she updates several times a week, all about the Real Estate Industry. From homes for sale and tips for cleaning to cool new things for your home and navigating pitfalls while home buying. If you like to keep up with Real Estate or are looking for a home right now, she can get you started…and she has also put together some tips for me that correspond to this post in a series of 10 basic steps you need to know/take for home ownership. Check out her blog at: http://maxwellsellsgtown.blogspot.com/

The Financial Tips:

Always have a down payment – When you take out a mortgage, the bigger your down payment, the lower your monthly payment and the shorter your finance time can be. We recommend having a 20% down payment and a 15 year mortgage (if you can afford such a short finance time). Another added bonus of a 20% down payment is that you avoid the cost of mortgage insurance!

NEVER finance more than you can afford – Banks will lend you more than you can afford. It’s just the nature of the game, the same as credit cards who give you more credit than you can easily pay off. As the buyer, you should know how much you should spend…DO NOT rely on the bank to tell you what you should spend…rely on YOURSELF or a trustworthy financial counselor. Typically you want to keep your monthly payment below 30% of your take home pay per month. 25% is better, but most people can do 30%. You should know the amount you can afford per month before you look for homes. It will give you a price range of homes to look at.

Emergency Fund – When you buy a home you need an emergency fund. The emergency fund protects you from the unexpected expenses that occur…and you WILL have unexpected expenses. New furniture that you didn’t know you needed, light fixtures that need to be replaced, new paint, plumbing work etc. All of this adds up, and if you don’t have the funds to cash flow the expenses, then you either have to wait to fix it or finance (credit card) it. You should have enough money for at least 3 months worth of expenses, and any additional money to cover incidental and decorating expenses…we recommend $1,000 to $2,000 for decorating/incidentals for the average family.

Know the expenses involved with buying a home – Closing costs, inspection fees and earnest money are all costs that “crop up” when buying a home, and you should be prepared to cover those costs. All of these fees and costs range in price, so ask your Realtor what you should set aside.

Now, I’m sure that there are tons more tips I could give you, but these will get you started, and safeguard you against the basic financial pitfalls of home buying for the average buyer. So, are you ready? Well, if you can say “yes” without a doubt, then you’d better get started on the process!

Vacations are important because throughout the year we work hard. All of us do, even if you love your job, but that doesn’t mean that you never need down time, to be by yourself or with your family. That is where vacations come into play. Whether you think a vacation is hiking somewhere, hitting the beach or going to a historic site etc., that time away from work, where you can allow your brain to think about other things, is necessary. The memories you make during that time, flipping burgers on the grill, laying on the beach or smelling the clean air up on a mountain sustain you through the rest of the year. So, what’s the proper way to plan a vacation? First things first, you need a budget. In debt? Read on…

Most of you know that a budget is just a way to plan out where all of the money you make is spent. For example, if you have $1000 a month, and rent is $600, you have $400 left for utilities, food etc. So, look in your budget, and see how much money is leftover after paying all of your bills. Let’s say you have $100 a month left over (that you aren’t putting toward savings) and you have 4 members in your family (mother, father and 2 kids)… Well, if you want to go to the beach, look up the cost of accommodations (here’s a tip – look up the cost of condos/townhomes, because they are usually more cost effective than hotels, and with a full kitchen, you can save on the cost of meals, or provide for someone with a special diet!) Now, figure up the cost of traveling to your destination…car rental, airfare, gasoline (for your own car or the rental) are all costs that need to be included. The cost of food…plan out how many meals you will eat at pricey joints and how many you are willing to cut costs on. Know what attractions are there, and figure out if there is any room in your budget for them. Shopping…it’s no secret that most women like to shop, so either save up a little for her to go spend, or set the ground rules ahead of time that there will be no shopping, with the whole family being in agreement. Think of any expenses that are specific to your family, and include them. After you have a rough estimate of the cost, look at your budget…do you have enough to pay for the type of vacation you want, if you save that $100 a month… If you do, great, book your condo and start saving. If you don’t, then you’d better choose a vacation that is less expensive, because I know you don’t want to finance a vacation. (That’s what putting a vacation on a credit card is!)

Now, if you don’t have enough to go on vacation, no matter what you do, or you are in debt (other than your house) then your choices are limited. You have to be more creative, but if your work allows you the time off, then a “Staycation” is the way to go. As the name implies, a “staycation” is where you and your family vacation at home… The concept isn’t new, only the name is fresh. A lot of people don’t want to vacation at home, but if you are in debt, then you clearly need to put your money somewhere else. If you aren’t in debt, but still don’t have enough to go somewhere, stay home that year, but still save the money… In 2 years, you should have enough. I know one of the biggest complaints is that people don’t know what to do on a staycation, and so they sit at home doing nothing. Well, you just have to be creative. First, you do have money to spend that week. Look at your weekly budget. If you spend less at the grocery (skip some things you don’t need) then you should have enough for dinner and a movie (or a matinee). Most people vacation in the summer, which means anyone can go for a picnic. Find a park and go play outdoor games with your family. Go visit some nearby relatives or friends. Rent movies to watch at home and pop some microwave popcorn. Take your kids to the skate park/skating rink/basketball court. Have a board game night. Make homemade milkshakes for the kids and for you (or something a little more stout, if you prefer). Figure out what things your family enjoys and do them together. It doesn’t have to cost money to help you relax.

So, whether your have saved up the money and are going on vacation, or you are still in debt and are having a “staycation” vacation, you can still have fun. Jerrill and I have one of each. He receives 3-4 weeks of vacation a year, so we have a vacation at home, a beach vacation, usually a long weekend trip somewhere, and the rest is used at Thanksgiving/Christmas. Figure out which type of vacation works for you, and this year, make sure you take it!

I know that the news regarding jobs and the economy is frightening, but you have to compartmentalize that as “what’s going on in the world” and focus on “what’s going on in your house and community”. It could be that some towns and cities across the U.S. are hitting rock bottom, but your hometown is still doing ok. So, before you do anything, assess your own personal situation. If you have your job, and your company doesn’t seem to be struggling, then stay where you are. Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t build up an emergency fund in case something does happen, it just means that your job looks relatively stable. Now, if you live in a small town with only a couple of big companies that provide employment for most of the townspeople, you should definitely be saving some money and keeping your eyes open for signs that the company is struggling. For example, have they cut back on freebies or privileges? Are there no free bagels in the morning? No more overtime? No bonuses? Have they closed other locations? If you see any actions like this, prepare yourself for the possibility of a layoff.

Okay, so now let’s assume that you’ve lost your job. You need money. You need to provide for your family. Well, in spite of what the news is reporting, there are jobs to be had in the U.S. Now, not all of these jobs are glamorous, and the truth is that you might be overqualified for them, but, I have to say, so what? You are looking for something to provide for your family, and if in a couple of weeks you don’t find your dream job, well then, I suggest you deliver pizzas til you find what you want. Everyone knows that companies are eliminating jobs. There is NO SHAME in providing for your family. Wal-Mart offers health insurance to its employees, so get a job there and have health coverage. Starbucks offers health insurance to part time employees!!!

Here is another point that might surprise you: it might be financially better for your family if one of the parents stayed home. Take a look at your finances. If one parent makes significantly more than the other, maybe the lesser earning parent should stay home. If the lesser earner does not make enough to cover the cost of daycare, their gas or bus pass for transportation to and from work and their daily lunch/coffee, then it is a financially sound decision (not to mention good for the well being of the child) for that parent (no matter if it is the dad or the mom) to stay home and care for the child. So, if you lost your job, but financially weren’t making enough to cover the job, then stay home and be with your child!

Now, for those who say there are no jobs out there, I say you just have to look. Granted, some small towns have only one factory, which provides most of the jobs for its residents. This is hard for me to say, because I came from one of those towns, but it is a bad model from which to set up a town. As a resident, your whole existence depends on the stability of the company. I wouldn’t want that stress. So my advice on this, though hard, is to MOVE AWAY. For the rest of you living in towns/cities with plenty of businesses, I say, looking for a job is a full time job. You only get as much out of it as you put in it. If you blow off looking because interviews are uncomfortable, well then, don’t expect to get a job. And please don’t think that looking for jobs on the internet only will help you find something, because usually it doesn’t (yes, there are exceptions). Here are some places that are usually hiring, no matter what the economy is doing:

Tech industry – you might have a masters degree, but level 1 tech support lackey beats grill master at a fast food joint.

Wal-Mart/Target/Kroger/Costco – again, not glamorous, but we’re talking about basic employment with benefits

Health Care Industry – all that money we pay for health services doesn’t just go to doctors, some of it goes to the nurses and administrative support team. (Hint: these positions are usually paid way more than what the job responsibilities imply they should be)

Government/State jobs – come on, it’s the Government, they’re always hiring. Pay is decent, benefits are good.

Military – should be under government, but I separated it because they just recently came out saying they were adding 180,000 jobs. These jobs offer free housing, food costs, health benefits and an average starting salary of $35,000.

Don’t tell me there’s nothing out there. Maybe you just aren’t looking in the right place, or thinking the right way. I wish all of you luck in your search for a job. If you have any questions and think I might be able to help, just add a comment, and I will try to the best of my ability!

Happy Hunting!

http://money.cnn.com/2009/02/26/news/economy/jobless_claims/index.htm?postversion=2009022609

http://news.google.com/news?ned=us&hl=en&q=walmart+hiring

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17939_109-10073394-2.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29377376/

Tax Refunds are terrible for the average American. At the end of the year, when the government finally decides to give the taxpayers back their money (unless you live in California this year, where the government is refusing to give back refunds since it spent all of its money), people all over the U.S. get so excited about how they are going to use the money. Most people start off with noble intentions: “I will use the money to start an emergency fund” or “I will use the money to pay off debt”, but by the time the refund shows up, the new intent is to “buy that 50″ flat panel LCD TV that I’ve always wanted”. Failure. This kind of thing makes me cringe. Tax refunds in the hands of most people end up being impulse spending and nothing more. Don’t lose your willpower. Without debt payments, you could have more money throughout the year and have your tax refund…the best of both worlds!

Lack of accountability is another good reason people fall of the wagon. This applies to money, diets, exercise and smoking to name a few. Most people are not capable of being accountable to themselves. Remember the first time you sneaked a cigarette or cupcake, the first time you decided to skip the gym or buy that new pair of shoes? Who was there to talk you out of it? Generally, no one. If you don’t have someone with whom you have to be accountable, someone to say “you don’t need those shoes” and “skipping the gym is like eating a brownie” then you are more susceptible to your own inner demons. You can’t say, “oh, what’s one cupcake?”. FYI, that one cupcake (1.5 oz) is 200 calories, which is a 30 minute walk on a treadmill…sounds tempting huh? If you’re single, find someone you trust to be your conscience. If you’re married, as a couple you should be on a plan and accountable to each other.

Falling off the wagon from exhaustion sneaks up on you. It’s when you have been so good staying focused on your goals that you wake up one day and say to yourself “I am worn out, I just don’t think I can do this anymore”. It’s when you say things like “I don’t care if I ever see another free weight…” and “So help me, I’d give anything to stop looking at spreadsheets…”. There is nothing I could say to counteract this problem. I can only tell you to take solace in the fact that we all have these moments and that you are not alone. You just have to tell yourself that you are not going to give in to your exhaustion and then make a list of what you have accomplished so far. It doesn’t matter how small you think the accomplishment is, it counts. You wouldn’t have accomplished anything if you had not tried.

Falling off the wagon from a lack of a plan and no cheerleaders is obvious. If you don’t figure out exactly how you are going to accomplish your goal and write it down then you will not stay focused. If you don’t have people around you cheering you on, hoping you succeed and helping you out then you will not stay on task. People need other people to affirm that they are doing a good job. They need people to review their plan and say its good. Enough said.

All in all, there are plenty of reasons we fall off the wagon. Staying focused and on task to achieve your goals keeps you on the wagon and is what it means to be an adult. Think about this…we can’t eat the way we did as children and stay thin….if it were that easy, we’d all be thin. When children get money they can spend it however they want and adults cannot. You can’t take your tax refund and blow it on a TV…you have responsibilities. You ARE an adult. You have to do things differently then when you were a child. You can’t expect to stay thin as an adult without getting exercise…you wouldn’t have stayed thin as a child if you didn’t play and ride bikes. Why do you think childhood obesity is on the news all the time these days…children don’t go outside and play anymore.

So, don’t fail in February. Save your refund, be accountable to someone, persevere through exhaustion, make a plan and find your cheerleaders! I believe everyone is capable of doing amazing things under the right circumstances. It is your job, however, to help create as many of those right circumstances as you can!

Valentine’s Day is a very interesting holiday. Though not disliked by men as much as Sweetest Day (which we don’t celebrate, and I don’t even know it’s date), it is still a holiday that men feel passionately about, in a negative way. Now I should say not ALL men dislike this holiday, but most do. Why?

Well, I’m no man, but I have a few ideas. I imagine the 2 biggest complaints are the money that they feel they have to spend (afraid to mess up the budget), and the romance they feel they have to show. Let’s look at the 2 separately, and what your favorite Southern Couple does to celebrate the big day.

The money. Well, sorry fellas, but yes, women do like presents. Hate to burst your bubble. Now for the good news…unless your woman is the type to covet only the best and is all consumed with the price tag (and unfortunately, there are women out there like that) then the present doesn’t really have to cost anything. Women consider all sorts of things gifts that most men never think about. Some examples would be: a back massage from her man (free), breakfast in bed (food cost), homemade card (cost of materials), cleaning the house for us (free), watching the kids while we take a bubble bath or go out with girlfriends (free), making a craft to show your love (cost of materials), take us on a picnic (in the south, outdoors, in the north, in your bedroom), watch our favorite chick flick with us (free), make us dinner (food cost) etc. ANY of these gifts would be well received by a girlfriend/wife. Flowers and chocolates?? Icing on the cake.

Now, for the men out there who don’t want to break their budget, all I have to say is…why isn’t Valentine’s Day already IN your budget? It does happen every year after all. If you want to cut down on your stress around this holiday, you should budget enough money to buy the items that you think you will continue to buy your significant other for your life. If that happens to only be a card, well, budget $5. If you think dinner out, card, flowers and candy are on the agenda, set aside $100. If you want to do more than that, save more. If you combine your income, set aside some for her too. This isn’t rocket science, it just takes planning.

Alright, the second worry for men is that you won’t be romantic enough. Well, chances are you won’t be. Men should think about this a little. Most women plan their wedding day from their childhood, or watch soap operas (not me, eww yuck) or chick flicks etc. They have ideas about romance in their heads that have been there forever. You will probably NOT live up to that expectation. Accept your fate and MOVE ON. Once you accept this, the pressure of the holiday won’t be there, and you will be more pleasant on the big day. A man who is more pleasant on Valentine’s Day makes the whole day more pleasant, and maybe even romantic, because everyone is RELAXED.

Another little known fact about romance. Most women realize you won’t be as romantic as our daydreams (which is a shame, but we move on) and are used to men not being romantic at all. Therefore, ANY romance you show will make us happy. Extra kisses or hugs (or both) before you go off to work, coming home and intentionally asking about our day (and listening to the answer), and opening up doors for us (chivalry) are all good examples of romance.

This Southern Couple has come up with a solution that works in our life. I plan out the activities and romance for Valentine’s Day, and he plans out our wedding anniversary. This arrangement is great, because I have the opportunity to do for him what he really wants on Valentine’s Day, which takes the pressure to be romantic off of him and allows him to be sweet and romantic on a holiday he can really get excited about. I take him to the movies (double feature this year) and to dinner. I buy him a gift that is practical (what all men REALLY want). I set aside some money from the budget for a gift for me, and he takes me out and has me pick out a gift (he is terrified of picking things out for me…no clue why). Then, on our anniversary, in October, he goes all out and is totally sweet and romantic.

So, don’t break your budget for Valentine’s Day, but DO budget for it. Don’t freak out about what to get her or the prospect of romance, and just relax and be yourself (unless yourself is normally irritating, then be a little better than that)!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

I have been thinking about what all of the unfortunate people in the state are going through. My 2 best friends both lost power. One for 2-3 days, and the other has been without power for 9 days and counting. Your southern couple was lucky this time. We never lost power or cable, and didn’t have any trees fall on us or our house.

But the people who were impacted by the storm…what about them? They are paying for hotel rooms while their homes have no power. They are paying for arborists and electricians and possibly roofers to fix the problems caused by the weather. They are out hundreds (thousands?) of dollars to get their lives back in order. Could they afford it?

As our readers know, we are BIG supporters of having a rainy day (in this case icy day) or emergency fund. We think that having a reserve of money for life’s little eventualities (or Mother Nature’s tantrums) is a top priority. We do not believe in putting emergencies on credit cards, because MOST people don’t pay off their credit cards. If these people had or have emergency funds, then they could just pay cash for the repairs or hotel rooms and not worry about where they will get the money. Living in a hotel room for 2 weeks is stressful enough without the stress of figuring out how to pay for it.

So, were our fellow citizens prepared? We hope they were, but we obviously don’t know.

The lesson to take away from the last 2 weeks however, is that disasters are only disasters if we are not prepared for them. Keep an emergency fund of at least $1000. Don’t think that it could never happen to you. Don’t let your life impact you…impact your life!

In September of 08, we decided to put our house on the market and move…and as for me, I wanted to move across the country. I liked the idea of going further south too, since I absolutely abhor snowy roads. I don’t mind the cold (much) or the snow on the grass, but where there is pretty snow on grass, there is dangerous snow on the road!

Unfortunately, 2 days after we put the house on the market, the President came on the t.v. and announced that the economy was going to hades in a hand basket. Now, while Jerrill and I have known the economy was suffering for a while, it put a damper on our plans to find a different job in a different city. Lots of companies were cutting jobs and the like, and Jerrill’s job is in the security field, which is historically stable. So, what is a southern couple supposed to do?

We moved, but only from Georgetown to Lexington, and are now in a bigger house (to grow the family) that we got on a fantastic deal. As awful as it is, we sold high and bought low, and are no worse off then we were in the old house, and still have plans to pay this house off early.

We love the new house! It is cozy and an upgrade from the previous house, and I love the level yard and the chance to start fresh in a new flower bed!! It is the perfect size home to start our family, with INCREDIBLE storage, and we LOVE our new street and and our neighbors (at least the neighbors we have met). We are so happy to be living in Lexington! It is a wonderful city. The people are fantastic, and there is always something to do or someplace to go. And, with regards to that dangerous snow on the roads…the LFUCG cleans the roads very efficiently!

So, why the long hiatus? Basically, because moving and getting settled is time consuming (and we’re still not completly settled) and even more so when you move on November 7th, right before Thanksgiving and Christmas…but, hopefully, we won’t have to many more “bumps” in the blogging road!

Anyway, we are back to work on the first of many (I hope) Southern Couple Software, hopefully able to be released in beta testing within 2 months, so, keep checking back to see what’s up, and what’s new!

You have to focus on creating and meeting goals and expectations for your life to truly get ahead. You have to decide where it is that you want to take your life, what you want and the type of person you want to be while you are doing it and meet THOSE expectations.

So, you set your goals…and now you want to work toward them…how do you do it?? Self discipline. Sticktoitivness. You need to identify what pitfalls you have in your behavior that cause you to fail. For example, if you always spend too much money on things you don’t need (do you really need Starbuck’s coffee or Jimmy Choo shoes?? Or both??), but your goal is to try and put more money in your 401k, well then, the choice is simple. It might be the hard choice, but it is still simple…dump the coffee and get some sneakers or at least a cheaper designer, because your feet will survive very well in Nine West, and your bank account will thank you.

Decide what you want, then tell yourself that if you want that, you have to give up something else. That’s how it works. You want more of one thing, you have to cut back on something else. Want more time with the kids, then work has to stop at the door. After all, what pray tell, did you do before your Black(crack)berry. You want to start your own business?? Then you have to stick to it and persevere. You can’t come home early and you can’t be off all the time. I knew a man who opened a franchise food location, and had it fail within a few months. Why? Because he was rarely there. You can’t be absent in the beginning. You have to be there! He needed to get rid of one of his managers, and 1-2 employees from the store and bust his butt all day long, till the business was throwing off enough profit to EASILY hire someone. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and now I am sure he is suffering for it.

Your expectations and goals for yourself, or you and your spouse if you are married, are all that is important. Help each other achieve more. Make suggestions to each other (or yourself) of ways to accomplish the goals, and be accepting of the suggestions made to you. Decide that you will follow through. Make an effort. Remember that you do not DESERVE whatever it is that you want, unless you earned it. Just existing is not enough to deserve money, fame or whatever it is you think you should have. And BTW, making it through a rough day at work does not entitle you to a mani/pedi, massage, or anything like that. It might entitle you to an evening of rest, and putting off the laundry a day, but not much else. And yes, you still have to do the laundry the next day.

It’s not easy to put together a plan for success and execute it over long periods of time, measuring your progress every step of the way. And when you run into the inevitable roadblocks, if you’re single, find a friend you can trust to just be there. If you’re married, just love each other and be there for each other (sounds like a no brainer, I know). Don’t trust that other people have your best interests in mind.

Ours is an impatient, microwave, fast food, drive-through, instant access, immediate gratification, instant credit, fast cash, overnight shipping, accelerated degree program, CliffsNotes world. Self discipline is hard to come by nowadays. Those who manage to find it are automatically ahead of the game in becoming successful. Everyone else is perfectly average.