Well, it’s that time of year again! The time of year when a man’s palms sweat and they cringe with fear, or they grumble about spending money and resent February (at least any part of February that occurs AFTER the Superbowl). It’s Valentine’s Day!
Valentine’s Day is a very interesting holiday. Though not disliked by men as much as Sweetest Day (which we don’t celebrate, and I don’t even know it’s date), it is still a holiday that men feel passionately about, in a negative way. Now I should say not ALL men dislike this holiday, but most do. Why?
Well, I’m no man, but I have a few ideas. I imagine the 2 biggest complaints are the money that they feel they have to spend (afraid to mess up the budget), and the romance they feel they have to show. Let’s look at the 2 separately, and what your favorite Southern Couple does to celebrate the big day.
The money. Well, sorry fellas, but yes, women do like presents. Hate to burst your bubble. Now for the good news…unless your woman is the type to covet only the best and is all consumed with the price tag (and unfortunately, there are women out there like that) then the present doesn’t really have to cost anything. Women consider all sorts of things gifts that most men never think about. Some examples would be: a back massage from her man (free), breakfast in bed (food cost), homemade card (cost of materials), cleaning the house for us (free), watching the kids while we take a bubble bath or go out with girlfriends (free), making a craft to show your love (cost of materials), take us on a picnic (in the south, outdoors, in the north, in your bedroom), watch our favorite chick flick with us (free), make us dinner (food cost) etc. ANY of these gifts would be well received by a girlfriend/wife. Flowers and chocolates?? Icing on the cake.
Now, for the men out there who don’t want to break their budget, all I have to say is…why isn’t Valentine’s Day already IN your budget? It does happen every year after all. If you want to cut down on your stress around this holiday, you should budget enough money to buy the items that you think you will continue to buy your significant other for your life. If that happens to only be a card, well, budget $5. If you think dinner out, card, flowers and candy are on the agenda, set aside $100. If you want to do more than that, save more. If you combine your income, set aside some for her too. This isn’t rocket science, it just takes planning.
Alright, the second worry for men is that you won’t be romantic enough. Well, chances are you won’t be. Men should think about this a little. Most women plan their wedding day from their childhood, or watch soap operas (not me, eww yuck) or chick flicks etc. They have ideas about romance in their heads that have been there forever. You will probably NOT live up to that expectation. Accept your fate and MOVE ON. Once you accept this, the pressure of the holiday won’t be there, and you will be more pleasant on the big day. A man who is more pleasant on Valentine’s Day makes the whole day more pleasant, and maybe even romantic, because everyone is RELAXED.
Another little known fact about romance. Most women realize you won’t be as romantic as our daydreams (which is a shame, but we move on) and are used to men not being romantic at all. Therefore, ANY romance you show will make us happy. Extra kisses or hugs (or both) before you go off to work, coming home and intentionally asking about our day (and listening to the answer), and opening up doors for us (chivalry) are all good examples of romance.
This Southern Couple has come up with a solution that works in our life. I plan out the activities and romance for Valentine’s Day, and he plans out our wedding anniversary. This arrangement is great, because I have the opportunity to do for him what he really wants on Valentine’s Day, which takes the pressure to be romantic off of him and allows him to be sweet and romantic on a holiday he can really get excited about. I take him to the movies (double feature this year) and to dinner. I buy him a gift that is practical (what all men REALLY want). I set aside some money from the budget for a gift for me, and he takes me out and has me pick out a gift (he is terrified of picking things out for me…no clue why). Then, on our anniversary, in October, he goes all out and is totally sweet and romantic.
So, don’t break your budget for Valentine’s Day, but DO budget for it. Don’t freak out about what to get her or the prospect of romance, and just relax and be yourself (unless yourself is normally irritating, then be a little better than that)!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Tags: Budgeting, Planning, Relationships
Jerrill and Emily, I have been reading your southern couples’s guide. It sounds really great, with alot of good ideals that Mark and I could learn from. I’m glad you all could share the great ideals with us and I’m sure with plenty others to. Keep up the good work it is great! Tammy