You have to get the idea out of your head that meeting the expectations of others will make you more successful. Meeting expectations of others means you have done just that…and that is not how you become successful. These people who you try to please do not have your success in mind. They are not working every day to help you get ahead. They are working every day to get themselves ahead, and any successes you may or may not have mean very little to them.
You have to focus on creating and meeting goals and expectations for your life to truly get ahead. You have to decide where it is that you want to take your life, what you want and the type of person you want to be while you are doing it and meet THOSE expectations.
So, you set your goals…and now you want to work toward them…how do you do it?? Self discipline. Sticktoitivness. You need to identify what pitfalls you have in your behavior that cause you to fail. For example, if you always spend too much money on things you don’t need (do you really need Starbuck’s coffee or Jimmy Choo shoes?? Or both??), but your goal is to try and put more money in your 401k, well then, the choice is simple. It might be the hard choice, but it is still simple…dump the coffee and get some sneakers or at least a cheaper designer, because your feet will survive very well in Nine West, and your bank account will thank you.
Decide what you want, then tell yourself that if you want that, you have to give up something else. That’s how it works. You want more of one thing, you have to cut back on something else. Want more time with the kids, then work has to stop at the door. After all, what pray tell, did you do before your Black(crack)berry. You want to start your own business?? Then you have to stick to it and persevere. You can’t come home early and you can’t be off all the time. I knew a man who opened a franchise food location, and had it fail within a few months. Why? Because he was rarely there. You can’t be absent in the beginning. You have to be there! He needed to get rid of one of his managers, and 1-2 employees from the store and bust his butt all day long, till the business was throwing off enough profit to EASILY hire someone. Unfortunately, he didn’t, and now I am sure he is suffering for it.
Your expectations and goals for yourself, or you and your spouse if you are married, are all that is important. Help each other achieve more. Make suggestions to each other (or yourself) of ways to accomplish the goals, and be accepting of the suggestions made to you. Decide that you will follow through. Make an effort. Remember that you do not DESERVE whatever it is that you want, unless you earned it. Just existing is not enough to deserve money, fame or whatever it is you think you should have. And BTW, making it through a rough day at work does not entitle you to a mani/pedi, massage, or anything like that. It might entitle you to an evening of rest, and putting off the laundry a day, but not much else. And yes, you still have to do the laundry the next day.
It’s not easy to put together a plan for success and execute it over long periods of time, measuring your progress every step of the way. And when you run into the inevitable roadblocks, if you’re single, find a friend you can trust to just be there. If you’re married, just love each other and be there for each other (sounds like a no brainer, I know). Don’t trust that other people have your best interests in mind.
Ours is an impatient, microwave, fast food, drive-through, instant access, immediate gratification, instant credit, fast cash, overnight shipping, accelerated degree program, CliffsNotes world. Self discipline is hard to come by nowadays. Those who manage to find it are automatically ahead of the game in becoming successful. Everyone else is perfectly average.
